cartman

age 8

distinguishing features famous blue and yellow hat, use of expletives

favourite food cheesy poofs

hobbies hanging around with friends kyle, kenny and stan, swearing, eating

reason for appearing in book� jess and hannah thought it would be a laugh

jimmy

age 23

special skills seemingly endless ability to fly any vehicle you can name

ambition to appear in every book jess and hannah write

hobbies running away from the government, being jealous of hannah talking to other men, arguing with jess, flying planes

reason for appearing in book� jess and hannah just made him up

charlie

age 27

favourite food pink wafers

ideal man jimmy

summary air steward(ess). hates hannah, loves jimmy

reason for appearing in book� jess and hannah just made him up. and thought it would be funny to have a very camp character in the book. bitches.

tom hanks &
steven spielburg

irritated by random strangers walking onto their sets of high-budget movies when they have been re-taking the shot for 3 hours already

like buying huge islands in the middle of nowhere to wreck in the process of filming high-budget movies

reason for appearing in book� the girls thought trashing a big budget movie and bashing the blockbuster movie business would be a humourous and topical joke. sadly they were wrong...

patrick

who? critically acclaimed playwright and screenwriter

work includes plays howard katz, dealer's choice and closer

reason for appearing in book� jess had just got into his work and decided to put him in. the post office idea is random and there is no explanation

secret fear giant eagles. don't ask.

superturtle

beach of origin near cooktown on the east coast of Australia

appearance seemingly ordinary, but has super powers hidden underneath that tough shell. what a funky turtle

reason for appearing in book� after a joke about jess being sexually assaulted by a turtle, this little chap just got swept up for the ride

mik and bruce

who? beach patrollers

appearance bushman hats, shorts, rolled up socks

pastimes playing on their playstation, protecting sealife

reason for appearing in book� archetype aussies were a necessity

limo of stars

who? smart, shiny limo containing natalie imbruglia, kate winslet, hugh grant, danny devito, matthew perry, matt damon, heath ledger, steven spielberg, josh hartnett and, bizarrely, charlie the air steward from book 1.1

why? out to shoot the film of The Book, despite the fact that The Book isn't finished yet

josh

who? film star the girls pick up on their travels

work you may have seen him in pearl harbo(u)r, halloween h20 or the virgin suicides amongst others

purpose to join the fancyman hall of fame

ben

who? another film star picked up by accident

work used to do interesting projects such as dogma and good will hunting, but recently has starred in dross such as gigli with his ex, jennifer lopez

purpose doesn't appear to have one

silverchair
l-r: Chris, Daniel, Ben

who? australian rock stars adored by hannah and most other people with good musical taste

work have released 4 albums, the most recent of which is diorama. lead singer/writer daniel has also released an album called dissociatives with paul mac

purpose the target of hannah's mission to australia

steve

who? british comedian and actor

work best known for being alan partridge but has recently moved into films such as 24 hour party people and around the world in 80 days

purpose the target of jess's mission to australia

dragons

who? superturtle's mutant dragon babies

purpose to aid jess and hannah's escape from the island

interesting tit-bit the dragons actually went on to form a rock band after the book ("fire-boys") and their debut single went to number 56 in the UK charts

stereophonics

who? welsh rock band

purpose to ensure Michael's Mall's start of sale goes off with a bang

interesting tit-bit at the time of writing The Book, Stuart (far right in picture) was still the drummer of the band. Now, he's sacked.