razor slashes
blood drips
relief comes

then guilt
i hurt you again
i hurt you so much
why can’t i stop?

i say i will
and for awhile i do
then i look down at my arm
and i see fresh blood
fresh lines
new cuts

i don’t remember it
i remember up till it
and after it
but not cutting

i realize what I did
i hurt you
you are ready to leave me
i can’t let go

i still cling to one small hope
that if i won’t let go
you won’t leave
you will stay
you will be mine again

but my mind tells me
that can’t happen
i hurt you so much,
you want to leave

my heart says to hold on to you
you are rare
precious
mine

i let go, but grab hold again
i hold tighter than before
without you i am lost

you teach me
and i hurt you

you love me
and i hurt you

you hold me
and i hurt you

you hurt me, not as much as i hurt you
you hurt me, by leaving me
even though it is better for you

i hurt you so much
and you stayed

i finally hurt you too much
and now you want leave

change is hard
but i am willing to do it
if it means you won’t leave

i will do whatever it takes
to keep you

because i still love you
even though you hurt me
because i know
i hurt you so much more

i lost your love
but i am willing to do whatever it takes
to help restore it

i want to hold on
i want to keep you

my mind says no, let him go
my heart says never stop holding on