| STUPID SAYINGS |
1. WHY ARE THERE 5 SYLABLES IN "MONOSYLABILLIC" 2. ITS NOT THE PACE OF LIFE THAT CONCERNS ME; ITS THE SUDDEN STOP AT THE END 3. ITS HARD TO COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVENT BEEN ANYWHERE 4. NEVER KNOCK ON DEATHS DOOR. RING THE DOORBELL AND RUN (HE HATES THAT) 5. NEVER TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY, NOBODY GETS OUT ALIVE, ANYWAY 6. THERE ARE TWO KIND OF PEDESTRIANS, THE QUICK AND THE DEAD 7. A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET 8. JURY: TWELVE PEOPLE WHO DETERMINE WHO'S LAWYER IS BETTER 9. DO FISH GET CRAMPS AFTER EATING? 10. TELL SOMEONE THE BENCH HAS WET PAINT AND THEY HAVE TO TOUCH IT4 11. IT'S A SHAME WHEN COUSINS MARRY 12. THE RADIO IS ON BUT THE TURNING DIAL BROKE OFF 13. THE DOORBELL IS RINGING BUT THERE IS NO ONE ANSWERING THE DOOR 14. HE IS PLAYING SOCCER WITHOUT THE BALL 15. A FEW COWS SHORT OF A HERD 16. THE TRAIN IS RUNNING BUT THERE ARENT ANY TRACKS 17. IF IT WAS RAINING BRAINS HE WOULDNT EVEN GET A DROP 18. HE IS SO DENSE THAT LIGHT BENDS AROUND HIM 19. NOT THE BRIGHTEST CRAYON IN THE PACK 20. 24 CENTS SHORT OF A QUARTER 21. I WISH I HAD A BLUEPRINT OF HIS BRAIN, IM TRYING TO BUY AN IDIOT 22. SHARP AS A MARBLE 23. IF YOU STAND CLOSE ENOUGH TO HIM, YOU CAN HEAR THE OCEAN 24. IT TAKES HIM A HOUR AND A HALF TO WATCH 60 MINUTES 25. HE HAS A PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY BUT THE LENS CAP IS GLUED ON 26. THE ENGINE IS ON BUT NO ONE IS AT THE WHEEL 27. HE REACHED ROCK BOTTOM YESTERDAY AND STARTED TO DIG 28. A FEW CROUTONS SHORT OF A CHEF'S SALAD 29. HE'S SURFING IN NEBRASKA 30. HIS SLINKY IS KINKED |