Author: Alelou
Feedback: Yes, please -- [email protected] (please
remember to add the 123)
Rating: G
Spoilers: Per Manum and maybe a tiny dig on This is
Not Happening which you may not get if you're not a
spoiler slut.
Category: Humor, I hope, or at least Commentary
Distribution: It's all yours (including Gossamer)
Disclaimer: CC and 1013 and Fox own the X-Files. Sigh.
Summary: Missing dialogue that would have explained
much that is puzzling in Per Manum.
Author's Notes: Thanks to my fellow disgruntled Philes
and to a wonderful review from Autumn T. for inspiration.
Purists may note that I have not researched Scully's
address or the order of these scenes and I'm using best-guess
pseudo Latin up there. And here's my excuse: why should I work
hard if 1013 doesn't?
Dr. Parenti's Office, Just After Scully Calls
Nurse 1: It's that patient Scully again.
Nurse 2: Hard to believe she's a big tough FBI agent.
Nurse 1: Yeah. I figure I'll beep him, even if he is
at the monthly government meeting of all ob-gyns whose
last names begin with the letters P-Z.
Nurse 2: I wonder what sort of dumb-ass projects the
government is assigning them this time.
Nurse 1: When I went into medicine, I had no idea it
involved automatic enrollment in all these nationwide
conspiracies.
Nurse 2: Tell me about it. You'd think they'd give us
better rates on Medicaid reimbursements after all the
trouble they put us to.
xxx
Scully at Zeus Genetics:
Doctor: So I guess you might be wondering what kind of
strange creatures you accidentally happened upon in that
unguarded room while you were worrying about your friend
Miss Hendershot.
Scully: Strange creatures? I was too busy worrying about
my friend Miss Hendershot to even notice.
Doctor: You see, those were actually monkey fetuses from
a research project we're running. You'd be surprised how
certain species of monkeys' fetuses look like baby aliens
when they haven't grown any fur yet.
Scully: Well, that certainly allays any suspicions I
might have had if I hadn't been entirely focused upon my
friend Miss Hendershot.
xxx
In Doctor Parenti's office.
Dr. Parenti: Forgive me for asking, Dana, but I
kind of assumed you'd know how to read an
ultrasound, being a medical doctor and all.
Scully: Must be these hormones. I keep forgetting
things. Heck, for the last two months I even forgot
to look for my partner!
xxx
Miss Hendershot and Scully in Scully's apartment.
Scully: Um, Miss Hendershot? How did you know
I was pregnant?
Hendershot: When I was in the clinic, I heard a
doctor on the phone saying, "Look, you tell me what
to do with this one. I can cut her loose and instead
focus all my efforts on that pregnant FBI agent Dana
K. Scully who resides at 33 Connecticut Ave., Apt.
5A, Georgetown, D.C., if you want."
Scully: Oh good. I was afraid I was already showing.
xxx
Cell phone conversation between Scully and Mulder
after he tells her the answer is yes.
Mulder: What's up, Scully?
Scully: So you're all okay on this sperm donor
thing? We don't need to discuss any of the
ramifications to our jobs or our relationship?
Mulder: Nah, seems pretty straightforward to me.
Scully: Okay. I was just checking. What's got you
at the office so late?
Mulder: Oh nothing. There's this creature in North
Carolina that's supposed to be able to eat people
and regurgitate them back out minus their diseases.
Scully: Ooh yuck, count me out on that one.
xxx
Scully and Skinner in the diner before Doggett arrives.
Skinner: Gee, Scully, do you really think you should
go to an ARMY hospital with Miss Hendershot?
Scully: I don't know of any MARINE hospitals around
here, Walter.
Skinner: No, I mean -- it's just, you guys don't have
the best track record with the military, you know? Why
would you trust them?
Scully: (shocked) Not trust the army? That would be
like running a background check on my own doctor!
Skinner: Oh, right. Look, what do you want
me to tell Doggett? I'm sure he'll eventually notice
that you're not there anymore.
Scully: Tell him I took a leave of absence.
Skinner: He'll want to know why.
Scully: I can't tell him that.
Skinner: Okay, but at least let me wake him up
in the middle of the night and drag him out here so
you can tell him that to his face.
Scully: All right, no problem.
xxx
After the final flashback -- Mulder and Scully
are tenderly embracing.
Scully: Mulder?
Mulder: Mmm?
Scully: Did you really just tell me not to give
up on a miracle?
Mulder: Yeah.
Scully: So you believe in miracles now?
Mulder: Not exactly. I just figured I'd couch my
moral support in traditional Catholic language for you.
Scully: Oh. Well, thank you, it was sweet.
Mulder: Why, do you think I've been saying a lot
of things that are wildly out of character lately?
Scully: Um, well, not a LOT...
Mulder: Good. (coughs) I wouldn't
want to be losing it mentally or anything.
Scully: Perish the thought.
Mulder: So, Scully, we could try this the old-
fashioned way, you know.
Scully: Oh yeah? But I don't have
any ova left. What would be the point?
Mulder: I don't know ... perhaps the intimate expression
of a deep and abiding bond between two souls?
Scully: Oh, that. Well, okay, what the hell.
xxx
In the hospital, the army doctor comes in to
talk to Scully, who has just been rubbing her tummy.
Doctor: Feeling better?
Scully: Yes, surprisingly good for a woman who's had
amniocentesis and then tried to help a woman in labor
escape a secure facility before being manhandled brutally
and shot full of sedatives.
Doctor: Not worried that you're carrying an alien baby
anymore, then?
Scully: Oh well, you know. Que sera sera.
Doctor: Because you can do an ultrasound yourself if
it would make you feel better. You're a doctor, it's not
a big deal. I can get the equipment ready for you.
Scully: No, that's okay. I guess I'll just wait to see
what happens in another five to eleven months.
Doctor: You should definitely start showing soon.
Scully: Yeah, that's what they keep saying.
Doctor: (worried) I don't know, Dana. You still look
like death warmed over.
Scully: Oh, don't worry about me. I was just thinking
about my partner.
THE END