Author: Alelou
Feedback: [email protected] -- please don't
forget the 123!
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine, Chris's. Grrrr.
Category: H, Chat Angst
Spoilers: "Within" plus SPOILERS for future
episodes (none of which may be true)
Distribution: Help yourself.
Notes: My surly attempt to supply the missing
continuity from Season 7 to season 8. This may
become a continuing series, though I'd certainly
prefer NOT to feel the need.
SCENE CUT FROM "ALL THINGS":
SCULLY: (waking from sound sleep on the sofa) Oh.
(She re-orients herself, then wanders into the
bedroom, where Mulder is snoring gently. She
looks at her watch and shrugs, then begins to
undress.)
MULDER: (awakens as she quickly slips under
covers). Scully?
SCULLY: Mulder, it's me.
MULDER: You're naked.
SCULLY: That's right.
MULDER: Um, did I miss something?
SCULLY: That depends on your point of view, I
guess.
MULDER: We *were* discussing some pretty
intense issues when you inexplicably fell asleep.
SCULLY: Yeah, we were.
MULDER: So, to summarize...
SCULLY: I was saying how all things seemed to
have led us to this moment...
MULDER: Like this one, where you're naked in my
bed.
SCULLY: Yeah.
MULDER: Look, I'm really sorry, Scully, but I
have a headache.
(SCULLY stares at him.)
MULDER: Seriously.
SCULLY: (feels his forehead) No fever. You look
perfectly fine.
MULDER: I know. The picture of health. It's
strange.
SCULLY: But you have a headache so bad that you
can't have sex with me? How about I get you an
Advil and we wait twenty minutes?
MULDER: Well, it's a little more serious than
that -- a little brain inflammation.
SCULLY: Brain inflammation.
MULDER: Yeah.
SCULLY: So, um, shouldn't we be going to the
hospital, Mulder?
MULDER: No, I've got it all under control.
SCULLY: You've got *brain inflammation* under
control?
MULDER: Doing everything that can be done.
Don't worry about it. It's minor, really.
SCULLY: (sighs) This just figures.
MULDER: But I want you to know that you're still
my touchstone, Scully. In fact, I would go so
far as to say I consider us romantically
involved.
SCULLY: Romantically involved? Really?
MULDER: Really.
SCULLY: Well, in that case...
MULDER: Yes?
SCULLY: Would that little brain inflammation
prevent you from being a sperm donor if I wanted
to use some high-tech methods to get pregnant?
MULDER: Huh?
SCULLY: Because when you mentioned David Crosby
on the sofa earlier, it got me thinking.
MULDER: You want me to be the father of your
child?
SCULLY: Well, sure. You're my touchstone too,
after all. Even if we apparently can never, ever
have sex.
MULDER: That's so sweet. Well, I'm sure I
could manage to donate some sperm. But I'm not
sure how good I'd be as a dad. You know how I'm
always running off ... (coughs) disappearing ...
what if I wasn't around as much as I should be?
SCULLY: Well, it would be hard, but I'm sure I
could handle it. No doubt I'd struggle along
bravely.
MULDER: Well, that's that, then. It's decided.
SCULLY: Great. I'll make the appointment.
xxxx
SCENE CUT FROM "BRAND X":
SCULLY: Sorry I disagreed with you about the
surgery, doctor. It's just that, well, Mulder's
had a chronic headache for a while -- and I think
his inflamed brain might make more surgery risky.
DOCTOR: Gosh, he seems perfectly healthy except
for those bugs hatching in his lungs. I would
never have guessed he has a brain inflammation.
SCULLY: I know, it's really strange. But he
says he has it under control, and I trust him
implicitly.
xxxx
SCENE CUT FROM "JE SOUHAITE"
MULDER: So, have you ever had someone who was
slowly dying of a rare brain inflammation use one
of his wishes to be cured?
JEN: No, but I did have a guy suffering from an
enlarged prostate ask me to cure him, once.
MULDER: So did anything bad happen?
JEN: Believe me, you don't want to know.
MULDER: Damn. I guess it's just not worth the
risk.
JEN: Well, your brain and your prostate are not
the same thing, you know.
MULDER: Pretty closely related if you ask me.
xxxx
SCENE CUT FROM HOLLYWOOD A.D.:
(In the limo, our two agents are relaxed and
happy.)
MULDER: So Scully, if you have a girl, can we
name her Teena?
SCULLY: (surprised) Teena?
MULDER: And William if it's a boy?
SCULLY: Mulder, I didn't think you were all that
fond of your family.
MULDER: It's really strange, Scully. Ever since
Mom died, I feel much closer to her. I'm not
sure why. I'm beginning to think it was really
Connecticut I didn't like, not her. In North
Carolina I feel much more connected to the whole
family thing.
SCULLY: Mulder, why is your mother buried in
North Carolina when your family never lived
outside New England?
MULDER: Oh, well, you know Mom loved a bargain.
Do you have any idea how expensive cemetery plots
are in Greenwich? Not to mention flowers? So
she saw this plot being auctioned off on the
Internet...
xxxx
SCENE CUT FROM "FIGHT CLUB"
(Scully and Mulder usher their guest out of their
office and regard each other wanly.)
SCULLY: Well, I guess it's safe to say you're
not finally going to up for any sex today.
MULDER: No. Sorry.
SCULLY: Me neither, to tell you the truth.
MULDER: Oh well. One nice thing about chronic
brain inflammation �?� it really puts all these
other minor and disfiguring injuries in
perspective.
SCULLY: Well, I'm glad it's good for something.
xxxx
SCENE CUT FROM "REQUIEM"
(Mulder and Scully are still spooning on his
bed.)
SCULLY: Oops!
MULDER: What?
SCULLY: I forgot to use my Crinone gel.
MULDER: Huh?
SCULLY: You know, that stuff I have to use
every day in case the IVF implantation that I had
one and a half weeks ago actually resulted in a
viable pregnancy, which we should be able to
determine with absolute certainty by Tuesday?
MULDER: Oh yeah. Hey -- do you think *that*
could be making you dizzy?
SCULLY: Dizzy? Gee, I don't see how.
MULDER: Oh. Well, I guess you'd know, since
you're the medical doctor.
SCULLY: And you're still not able to have sex,
huh?
MULDER: Sorry. This headache just won't quit.
SCULLY: But you've still been working out, I
see. Pretty darn buff arms, there, Mulder.
MULDER: I know. It's really strange.
SCULLY: I don't see how I could be pregnant,
anyway. I mean, if I were, that would be a
complete surprise. I think I'd be happy, though.
MULDER: Well, you did have IVF a week and a half
ago, so it's not totally beyond the realm of
possibility.
SCULLY: Still, it's such a long shot I'm sure
I'd still be totally and completely surprised.
MULDER: I guess I can understand that. By the
way, Scully, if anything should (cough) happen to
me, you do know that my fish food is the middle
drawer of my desk, don't you?
SCULLY: I'll try to remember, Mulder. I don't think
my memory is all that good lately. I can't even
remember how I got this cross.
THE END