I have been so depressed lately...
I think of killing myself...
My sister is a pain in the ass..
I just want for her to go away...
I hate my dad...
I feel like running away from him....
All my friends are leaving...
I want to be distant to make no new friends..
I feel pressured to do well..
So i hate school...
I dont dream...
So I am thought less...
I think about if i was dead...
So i cry at night writing poemes to excape...
I look back on my life and what i write
And i see no changes....
1-20-03
Today I know you will begone
Out of my life
Bur still in my heart.
Even tho I will make new friends
You will be one of the best
I have seen alot of people
Come in and out in my life
And now you have to go too
First Erica, then Flower and Kiara
And now u too...
Getting to know you was the easy part
But leaving is going to be hard
You will always make me
Think twice in the future about my friends
You have changed my aspects in life
You kept me alive...cuz i couldnt leave u
And i love u for being that close to me
You got me though some tough times
becuz u were going though them too
You welcomed me to chruch
And then God welcomed me too
But Lenora, we will meet again
If not on earth, maybe in our dreams
or in heaven if i can make it there
peace and remember
"You have 7 days to live" and
say "Hello Clarice"
2-6-03
I'm going today
Leaving everyone behind
Whether if there are my friends
Or my worst enymeys
I thought about it a while ago
But i never went though with it
But now I am going and
I will miss everyone
But everyone won't miss me
They might miss me for awhile
But there life will move on
And will forget me
I will forgive anyone who made me mad
But people won't forgive
Me for what i have done
People will cry
And people will greave
But all i have to say
"Know you know how i felt"
Im going today and
All I have to say is
"Goodbye"
4-25-03
From coming out of the cold
And into the warmth
I knew I could never be happy
How much I tried
I always cried
One day my heart was lifted
But then I woke up
In a hospital bed
And I knew my life was recreated
My parents paid attention to my needs
And my sister wouldn't bother me
Even tho my life started over
I couldn't find why
I thought I did everything right
To take my life
I guess someone came in time
When I thought my life was over..
unknown
I am possessed as
Two type of people
One is the sweet side
And the other is a
Hyper child who is crazy.
But I am not both
Yes i can have those
Sides of my personality.
But inside I am not.
I am depressed who
Hates the world
And wants nothing to do with it
Yes, I have thought
About death and suicide.
Yes, I have thought
About just slipping something at night
Yes, I have thought
About doing drugs to get away
Yes, I have thought
About getting drunk and passing out
No, I haven't done those things
And No, I dont intend too.
But, in my life I have thought
About these things.
And it is time they are exposed
unknown
I sit quite as can be
And listen to all the talking about me
I stay still in my seat
And watch kids move around and hit a beat
As I sit and think
I think about my life
And where it had turned
I want to cry when I think
But i can't so I have to wait
Wait tell im home
Home where my blade is
The blade that has touched my skin
My skin that bleeds with pain of my life
And my life that I want to end
4-29-03
Happyness is floating by
Happyness is never on my side
Happyness is never here
Happyness is not in my life
Sadness is
Sadness is in my mind
Sadness has never left
Sadness likes to cut
And happyness is bleeding away
Happyness is a thing in the past
And the Sadness has caused depresstion
While happyness cant get threw
Happyness I wish was in my life
And the sadness was the thing in the past