Ruu: that’s TALES.
Bella: DUH. It was… a joke. *shifty eyes*
Ruu: Uh huh… *both go OOC and read*

Ketsu sat on the smooth, polished surface of his coffin's lid. Forgetting his posture, forgetting his dress- forgetting everything but the subject at hand, he let his hands fall in his lap limply and slumped over in despair. He’s not coming back… The thought had been repeating in Ketsu’s mind for the past week. Guilt had been haunting him since he heard of Seibrum’s disappearance. Ketsu choked a bit. What kind of a lover was he? He hadn’t even noticed…

Letting his head fall forward, he watched as his red and gold hair cascaded over his eyes. Ketsu could instantly bring the feel of Seibrum’s hands running through his hair. He let out a small laugh. How ironic this all was. Seibrum. Seibrum-who had just left one night. Seibrum-who had begged and pleaded and threatened Ketsu not to leave once.

“Hypocrite.”

He brought his hands up to hold his head painfully. He didn’t blame him, though. He couldn’t. Knowing someone close to you had died was a feeling Ketsu knew all too well. Always wanting to run from the pain and sadness… It was something he had done many times. Too bad he’d never gotten the chance to tell Seibrum that never once did it work.

A frustrated sigh escaped his lips. He couldn’t blame him. So why- why was he so upset? Because you love him. Ketsu knew it was true. After all the fighting he had done not to fall in love, with any of them, he had. When Seibrum had first claimed to be in love with him, Ketsu had thought it was a joke. When the man had persisted, Ketsu had pushed that it was just a crush. When the man had threatened to kill himself for Ketsu’s love, Ketsu had stopped and humored him. God, what a bastard you are. But the last thing he had wanted to do was hurt him. So he had stayed. So he had let Seibrum love him. So he had said he loved Seibrum in return. At the time, it was a lie. But now…

Squeezing his eyes shut, he mentally screamed at himself, hating himself for all he had done and let happen. Why did you have to wait! Breaking down and staring to shake, his anger only rose. Why didn’t you go to him… help him… Why did you just let him leave?

Standing abruptly, Ketsu whirled around and grabbed his coffin, raising it high above his head and throwing it at the cracked concrete wall, shaking the LLAnon foundation with its impact. Ketsu only gritted his teeth and watched as the splinters showered around him and pierced his skin. He didn’t notice.

Walking upstairs, he headed out into the cold night in search of something to kill.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Varuka sat on her bed, propped up on her elbow, and sighed. What was wrong with her, lately? She’d been finding herself thinking the strangest things. Things she’d never thought she’d think. Things like: “There’s more to life than sex.” And “There must be more to life than this…” She shook her head out. Something was messed up in her brain. Ruu had suggested that perhaps she was getting a conscience. She didn’t have a response to that. It wasn’t as bad as shame. That was something she never wanted.

And then there were other things. Her mind drifted to Miyone. She was back. Sort of… She’d seen her daughter once, one evening, but not since. Varuka lowered her eyes and fell face forward on the bed. She’d never thought she’d see the girl again. But how glad it had made her. She wasn’t dead. Dran had succeeded somewhat. Miyone was a beautiful little girl, with so much potential. Too bad her father was stuck in her life.

…

Varuka paused and thought about that. Perhaps Dran didn’t have to be in her life. She knew he was powerful and magical and likely immortal. But what fun it could be to try and kill him. Maim him, even. Anything to get him away from Miyone.

Varuka’s eyes widened as the floor shook slightly. What was that? She shook her head and cleared it from her mind, if not a little too easily. Hmm, where was Lai Li, Jin, or Drake? Where were her boys? Getting off the bed, she hopped up and out of the room, heading to “The Room”.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Xavier lay in bed looking at the ceiling with confusion. Countless questions taunted him each and every night. Why was he here? Who had brought him back? Did he deserve to be back? Had he deserved to die, come to think of it? Did he want to be back?

The young man sighed and put his hands behind his head. He hadn’t actually told anyone, but he didn’t like it here. There were nice people, and entertainment wasn’t hard to find, but he had already missed his home, missed his family, missed college and the hot babes there. And now… He wasn’t sure, but he thought he missed Heaven. He snorted at how odd that sounded in his head. He wasn’t even sure he was in Heaven, he told himself. But then… he knew it was true. Before he had come back, finding himself freezing in the snow, he had been happy. When Ketsu had brought him inside that night, it had felt like he had been ripped apart. Ripped away from something so dear, and so precious, that he… Xavier stopped that thought. He didn’t want to think about what he had. He was back now. And perhaps that’s what was truly meant to be. He wasn’t about to go killing himself to rejoin the collective bliss.

And… there were things here that he needed to finish. Xavier admitted, it was hard to find out that you were dead for months at a time. But now, he had the opportunity to do things he had postponed. He knew now, how short life was. He could die at any moment, for any number of reasons. But this time, he wanted to die with nothing left undone.

He thought he’d been safe the first time, having already made a will- as if that was preparation for anything. He hadn’t been clear on anything. He hadn’t… He let his eyes drift shut. It was so impersonal. He wanted to make arrangements with people. Wanted to make sure they understood what he wanted after his… departure.

Xavier made a promise with himself to start living life to the fullest. Not to just pretend he was. He wanted to go home and see his family again, to at least say goodbye. He’s left so abruptly last time, and hadn’t been back since his junior year of college. His mother probably missed him. Who was he kidding? He missed his mama. Nodding, he moved on. Next on his list… was to sky dive. He sweat-dropped at his own thoughts. He was mildly afraid of heights, but what a thrill to feel the wind whipping through his hair and over his body. He had always wanted to be superman as a child. He sweat-dropped again. Perhaps it was time to live the childhood dream.

A sudden shaking of his bed brought him out of his nostalgia. What the…? He brought his head up to look around. He didn’t know what had caused that, but it troubled him. Nearly everything about this place ended up being bad, despite the effort to make this place good.

Resting his head back on his hands, he thought about the most important thing on his list- Nyanko. He hadn’t meant to leave her alone. He hated that he’d made her sad. She cried for God’s sake. No girl had ever cried for him. Xavier conveniently forgot all those times that he’d broken girls’ hearts back home. But having seen Nyanko cry had broken his heart.

Letting out a long sigh and thinking immensely on the subject, he looked over at the velvet box on the nightstand. He felt bad for having taken the ring back from her. It’d just been such a shock to see her wearing his mother’s wedding ring. He hadn’t given it to her, and it was before he knew that he… he had died.

Was he really ready to settle down? He was a college man, after all. There were plenty of parties left, girls to chase, and beer to drink. But then… it was Nyanko. He knew he loved her. She had stayed by his bed the whole time he was adjusting to his rebirth. He wanted to spend eternity with her. He wasn’t about to waste his time again. To never let her know how much he loved her.

Sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he stood shakily. His body still didn’t feel right. Would it ever? He didn’t know, but now wasn’t the time to think about it. He grabbed the little box and palmed it, heading for the door.

He’s never waste a precious thing again- time, friendship, and love. Taking a deep breath, he walked out and headed to Nyanko’s room.

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