Disclaimer: The song "Lullaby in Blue" belongs to Brian Walsh, Adam Cohen and Bette Midler. Koko wa Greenwood and all related characters belong to . . . ummm . . . someone who is not me.

Oh, and this is dedicated to Kimi-chan, who motivated me to finish it.

Lullaby in Blue

A Koko wa Greenwood songfic by Issei no Miko

I know that I'm no saint,

My head is in the clouds.

They called you a mistake,

But I still. . .

I still say your name out loud.

A woman looking to be somewhere in her mid-thirties rides a bus home from work on a warm spring day. She is not remarkable in any way save for her expression, faraway and sad. The bus rolls to a stop and she gets off, her movements so routine that they are mechanical. She has come home this way for many years. She still has that distant expression, unnoticing of the sunshine and the warm breeze that ruffles her sandy-blond hair.

They called me a stupid girl

Just like my mom.

Too many men passed

Through my arms.

She is not there on the city streets, she is in another place and time, hearing the jeering voices, the derisive laughter, the terrible names they called her. . .

At seventeen I looked into your eyes,

Knew I could never comfort your cries.

And then she is in a hospital room, staring down in wonder at a golden-haired infant that rests trustingly in her arms, amazed at the perfection of the life that has sprung from her body.

Every April

Still reminds me of you

The child I never knew. . .

My lullaby in blue.

She shakes her head slowly, waking from the all-too-familiar reverie. It is too late for sorrows and regrets. She knew from the beginning that the temple's owners would care for him, even as she wept brokenly when she left him near the gate, knowing that it was the last time she would ever see her child's face.

It all goes by so fast.

How lovely you must be. . .

Why, you've reached the age at last

That I was

When your daddy lived with me.

"Seventeen today," she thinks, smiling a little. "Are you happy, wherever you are? What are you doing?" It is a thought she has often, despite herself. She wonders who he is now, in his adolescence. Who his friends are. Who he loves. She cannot remember happiness at the age of seventeen, except for one thing.

Him.

How I wish we could meet somewhere,

Talk it through.

There is so much I would

Say to you.

There are others,

I'm not alone

A younger brother

You've never known

And a baby girl

Who so reminds me of you. . .

The child I never knew. . .

My lullaby in blue.

She will be home soon, back to the family she has built in the last seventeen years. Her husband, her daughter, her second-born son. She loves them all dearly, but sometimes. . . she wishes. . . .

But it doesn't matter, anyway.

She approaches the school that sits near her house. A prestigious boy's dorm, she has hopes that her second son will go there when he comes of age.

As the years go by

Try not to think of us sadly.

Believe it if you can

I want to see you so badly.

She is interrupted from her thoughts when she runs into a young man just outside the Academy. A student, she guesses, from the look of his blue uniform."Sumimasen!"

He smiles and nods politely before continuing on his way.

On your birthday,

Mama's thinking of you.

She walks a few steps, stops, and turns around, violet eyes wide.

The child I never knew. . .

Golden hair shines in the sunlight above his departing form. . . . Tears fill her eyes.

My lullaby in blue.

"O-tanjoubi omedetou. . ."

My lullaby in blue. . .

". . .son."

My lullaby. . . .

Owari

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