Bella didn’t know why she had said anything. So what if she had apologized and didn’t know why. She hated how sarcastic the conversation was getting. It wasn’t that something was wrong with him like he kept saying it was, she knew that, but it was something wrong with her. Maybe he was perfectly happy. But she wasn’t. She loved him, was grateful that he was alive and well, and loved being around him, but she almost needed to be doing something. And it made her feel better to be doing that something for him.

"Don’t try so hard." He’d said. Maybe it was the trying that she liked. If he really wanted her to stop trying so hard, then she’d try hard to stop trying. @.@ She simply thought that there must be something that could make him happier. Anything and she’d do it for him. Apparently, though, that had the opposite effect on him.

And then there was that whole problem, anyway. She liked doing things for him, but was getting sick of always picking the doing things for him. O.@ She didn’t always want to be the one to plan everything. She felt bad when she did plan them and then he ended up being afraid. He should learn not to ask her, in that case.

"But you’re the romantic one," he’d told her. Bah to that. He’s admitted before that he’d planned nice evenings before. So why couldn’t he do so for her?

Oh, so dying and coming back for you aren’t enough? She didn’t mean it like that, she argued with herself. >.< But… he was weird. Like the Rainman being able to do extreme mathematics in his head but not able to tie his shoes, Sami could handle extreme amounts of pain but asked for anesthesia when getting pierced. He’d die for her, but not pick what they’d do for a night.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t thoughtful. He’d bought her presents-

Rob Thomas… Drool.

Shaking her head and clearing her thoughts, she continued. Gifts. Yes- gifts were nice, but he didn’t seem to understand that just like he didn’t like gifts, she didn’t either. She didn’t want them she just wanted him.

Pausing to sip her now cold cocoa, she thought again of his little guilt problem. She wished to God that he’d just get over it, move on and stop blaming himself. He almost thought about using her wish on that, but decided that was a bad idea. She still had logic and who knows? Perhaps doing that would make him a different person, and she liked him how he was- guilt and all.

Pulling out the glowing orb that was his wish, she placed her hands over it gently and contributed her energy to its growing power. Maybe she didn’t need it yet, but she would soon enough. Cojin had told her she was going to die. Duh. She knew what he meant, though. Both Sami and she were targets. She had to protect him. Anything she could do.

Feeling her strength dissipate quickly, she let go of the ball and put it back into her Kasaless Kasa Space.

Sleep sounded wonderful now as she pulled up the blanket over her. She was anxious for Sami to get back so they could be good again. She hated when they left mad or upset. Saying a small prayer, she shut her eyes and dreamed again of her death.

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