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Getting Through Preschool

School isn't as easy as it once was. I could never remember my parents helping me out with schoolwork, except for that one time when Dad helped me drill a hole through this big plastic bin that I was using to demonstrate the inner workings of the toilet flush. Now I don't see how kids can do without parental guidance. They're taking up basic algebra in Grade 1 for crying out loud! Yikes. And you should see my kid's lessons in Sibika and Filipino: sige nga, saang probinsya nakatira yung mga Tagbanua?

So how do parents make the best out of the early years of schooling? Here are some tips:

1. Pick the right school. There are many considerations, such as:

a. Proximity. If you live in Quezon City then you may want to think twice about sending your kid to a school in Makati. The shorter the travel time, the better. It lessens the chances of receiving a panicked call from the maid 3 hours after dismissal: "Ate, si Diego hindi pa po dumarating galing sa school!!"

b. Values. If they don't match yours, then you may want to move on to the next school on your list. My non-negotiable requirement was that the school be a Catholic school, because my husband and I knew we couldn't rely on ourselves to teach them the rules, traditions and theology of Catholicism.

c. Reputation. Even more than the teaching style (Traditional, Piagetian, Montessori-style... there are so many!), I think the school's reputation is really what matters. Try to recall what you know about the graduates of that school: What are they known for? Are they among the movers and shakers of the business world, or the arts, or government? Or do they end up as invisible members of society?

d. Profile of the Faculty and Administration. It's difficult to find a school with a roster of excellent teachers these days. Look through their profiles or talk to them, and make sure you're putting your child in the hands of people who are smart, experienced, and good with kids.

e. Parent-friendliness. Choose a school that cares: the kind that calls or texts you when your child has been sent to the clinic or forgotten by the schoolbus. Tuition costs so much these days; the least they can do is provide good customer service.

2. Brush up on your own knowledge. You'll never know when your kid will start asking you about the government's environmental campaigns, or the properties of addition, or worse. My 6-year old daughter was required to bring one of those light bulb and battery assemblies to school for a Science project and my dad visited several hardware shops looking for a base for the light bulb he bought. He couldn't find any that was small enough, so he had to crack open a bigger bulb that did have a base, fit the small one into that, and then weld everything together. I couldn't help but wonder what we would have done without an engineer in the family.

3. Find time for them. It's been very difficult for me and my husband to make time to help our kids study, but we've been forced to. For years I would hardly see my kids during the week: I'd spend about 20 minutes with them in the morning before going to work, and more often than not they'd be asleep by the time I got home at night. Now I have to try to be home before 8 at least twice a week. And if I can't, I call them from the office and talk them through homework. Sometimes when my daughter has quizzes in school, I go through her books and take down notes at night, then review her over the phone the next day. It isn't exactly best practice, but it helps.

4. Use every opportunity to teach them something new, or to reinforce what they learn in school. To teach them about money, for example, I let my kids pay for things themselves. At first I would give the exact amount, but now I give them more than what's needed and let them figure out how much change they should be getting back.

Kids' minds are like sponges: they absorb knowledge so quickly it can be alarming at times. Make the most of each moment with them.

5. Be easy on them. I'd often wondered how to raise kids who don't settle for mediocrity, who want to do more and be more, and have the guts and the wits to achieve what they want. And I think it happens when they have good role models. Parents, grandparents, titas, titos, teachers and everyone else they regularly spend time with will all have great influence on what kind of people they'll turn out to be. Place them in the company of winners and the good and the wise, and that, more than pressuring them to be #1, will fuel their desire to be better than they are.

We can send our kids to the best and most expensive schools, but again, schools can only do so much. As parents, part of our job is to ensure that our children's values are intact, such that no matter what they do, where they go or who they meet, they'll be able to discern right from wrong, learn from and not be discouraged by failure, and use every opportunity to be better people.