These times pass so quickly. I should be spending them with my friends but instead I'm being slapped in the face with pain. I feel as though my heart is going to burst into pieces and the very sole in me will die. I tried not to fall so hard this time but when I say, "I love you" I mean it with all my heart. Don't say those words to me. I don't want to hear them. You say it's real but now it seems so fake. If it were real you would be with me. You've heart me before. Three strikes you're out. Isn't that how this game is played? Why does it have to be a game? It should be so much more. I know it's not over between us. Will it ever really be? Though hearache is so strong right now at times it doesn't seem real. I wait for you to call me and when you do we fight. You call back later just to say you're sorry but that seems to be all that I hear from you nowadays. If you were truly sorry about everything you would prove it to me. You never even gave us a chance to be. I don't understand you sometimes. I know my love is real and I thought yours was too but was it all just a lie? You say it is real but was it all just a lie? You say it is real but that just makes me so much more confused. Should I listen to my friends? Should I just forget about you? I want to so bad. It seems so easy but really it isn't at all. My heart won't let me just forget. Will I ever trust you again? I know this isn't the end. But for now my heart just aches. Am I just some plaything to you? It seems the only time you want to be with me is when She's not around. Why did you even bother talking to me in the first place? You knew you would go back to Her. I tried to tell myself you wouldn't and that it would be different this time. She has you exactly where She wants you. She doesn't really love you. It's like you once told me. "I can never let you get too far away. I always have to try to get you back." That's how she feels about you. She knows she can have you back. I'm stronger than that though. Yes, I do believe that people need more than one chance but how many do they really need? Do people ever truly change? History does repeat it's self. I see that clearly now. I hope to move on but you make it so hard. Maybe, just maybe this time I will. One day I'll find someone who will love me the way true love really is, with everthing in them. The way I loved you.
Sara Harrison