May 31, 2004

I'm looking for the water to flow clean again.

Clarity, it seems like such an impossible dream. I've lived so long without... What would it feel like to be able to see with clear eyes?

Guidance - a word that has recently taken negative connotations - implying weakness and the inability to do things on my own... my double-edged sword.

Those who say they don't need it are full of false arrogance. Those who say they do are looking for false security. At least, to those shadows that walk the halls of my mind.

And yet, like a child, I yearn for it. I ache to have You walk with me, pointing out the flowers in bloom and the birds that sing high up in the treetops.

Maybe I could run through the meadows like years past, blowing bubbles and then trying to catch them. I use to always look for the leprechauns on days the light caught the rain.

I want to dance with Divinity... Sometimes the memories burn me with acrid tears.

The faults of the 'far too busy faithful'.

We pray when our world shatters. Then and only then. We expect answers when sometimes there are none to be given. In an age where people demand miracles, I only want to find myself again.

Find myself as I used to be. Once upon a life.