| Page 6 At last I finally came to my senses. When it had registered in my head exactly what I was doing I felt my face burn with embarrassment and shame. I pushed Simon away so abruptly he fell back onto the bed, catching himself on his elbows. �What�s your problem?� Simon demanded his eyes flashing. I knew that this whole situation was just as my fault as it was his. We both knew he was dating Al yet we both kissed each other anyway. I couldn�t help what I did next. �How dare you?� I screeched. �What are you talking about?� Simon asked. �How can you do that? You have a girlfriend! She�s my best friend! This is totally and completely wrong! It�s-� �And it is totally and completely your fault as much as it is mine!� Simon yelled. I knew he was right. I did. But I was just so completely ashamed and I was mad at myself for being so stupid. �You�ve always been like this! So afraid to make a commitment and be a good person that you have to do something heinous just so you won�t have to live up to anyone�s expectations!� I have no idea where this came from but I suddenly realized that it was true. �You�re pathetic, Simon! I don�t want to be involved in your crazy, mixed up life! There�s the door I want to see you walking through it.� Simon leapt to his feet his face a mixture of shame, anger and hurt. �Oh, you don�t have to tell me, I�m already out the door.� Simon stormed out in a huff while I watched already regretting my harsh words. The damage was done and I knew my relationship with Simon would never be the same. I also knew being on Simon�s bad side is not a wise decision. Simon doesn�t lecture people like Al or give them the cold shoulder like me; he retaliates. Since Simon knew me so well he could figure out the perfect way to get back at me. I already knew where he was headed. He was going to Al�s to tell her the whole story. Well not the whole story. Knowing Simon he would probably twist it in his favor to make me look bad. I collapsed on my bed to await the call that would inevitably come. At 12:14 it did. I grabbed the phone immediately not wanting my mother to pick it up. �Hey, Al I-� I answered my stomach churning. �No, Natalie I am sick and tired of pathetic excuses. Just know first off that Simon did not gain brownie points by ratting you out. I am just as furious at him as I am at you. But he has already felt my wrath so now it�s your turn. First of all I want to ask you why. Natalie, I�ve know you for so long and you�ve never done something like this. What�s with you? Ever since D.T. died and we graduated you�ve been acting so weird. I know you�re under a lot of pressure with your dad and everything but this is just not like you. I always thought I could trust you to be a loyal friend but you changed my mind today for the first time in 10 years.� I sat listening to Al with tears in my eyes. I knew she had a good reason to lecture me but I felt every painful word. �I�m waiting for an answer, Natalie. Why did you do that? Why did you kiss my boyfriend or should I say ex-boyfriend as of this evening?� Al demanded �I-I don�t know,� I stammered. Pathetic, I know but I really couldn�t think of a reason why I did what I did. �That�s just not good enough, Natalie. Until you come up with something better I don�t want to know you.� Al said and hung up abruptly. I dropped the phone on the cradle and burst into tears. I had lost my two best friends in one night. That has to be some kind of world record. Put up my picture in the Hall of Shame as the worst friend who ever lived. Chapter 8: Starting Over I cried myself to sleep that night which was something I haven�t done since seventh grade when I didn�t have anyone to dance with at my first school dance. I had planned on staying in bed until I left for college. Now my plan was exactly the same except slightly more realistic. After two days of leaving my room solely for bathroom and eating purposes my mom started getting frantic so I decided to hang out in the kitchen or the den so she wouldn�t send me to a shrink. Not that a shrink would help. The first day I tried calling Simon and Al all day but after leaving ten messages on their answering machines and getting called back I finally gave up and resulted to moping. One afternoon I was in the kitchen feeling sorry for myself and drinking coffee when Remy bounded in. I realized I had absolutely no idea what she�d been up to all summer in a town where she knew absolutely nobody at all and I felt really bad. The least I could�ve done was tell her places to go to make friends. Not that I was skilled in the friends department if you know what I mean but I knew where kids her age hung out. Now, Remy eyed me cautiously as she grabbed a water bottle from the refrigerator. I suddenly noticed she had a deep tan and was sweaty looking like she�d been outdoors. I hadn�t wanted to talk to her but curiosity eventually took over. �Where have you been?� I asked in a less than civil manner. I expected a sarcastic remark and was surprised when Remy responded politely. �I�ve been playing soccer down at the park. I hate sports but some cute guys gave me some pointers,� Remy said blushing. She hopped onto a barstool near me. �I like the guys here. They�re not pompous airheads like the guys at home. You know, Dad�s not here just to visit. He was offered a transfer back to this area so he came to town to get interviewed for the job and to look for a place to live if he gets the job. Well the people like him and want to hire him so we�ll be staying in an apartment until we find a house.� I sat there digesting all of this information. Why hadn�t Dad told me any of this? Was he scared I wouldn�t want him to live here? Did I give him the impression he was invading my space? I had been kind of preoccupied with my friends all summer. I suddenly realized I had been snippy and distant to almost everybody this summer. I hadn�t spoken to Emily, Simon�s mother in weeks. �What about your mom?� I asked. �Is she moving here too?� Remy looked sad. �No. She was against the whole thing from the start. She�s lived in South Carolina her whole life and she was mad at Daddy for trying to uproot us.� I realized this almost the exact same scenario that happened when my parents divorced. �Daddy has never liked to stay in one place for long. Even when we lived in South Carolina he was always traveling wanting to see different places. When he got offered the transfer he was excited to move even if it was back to where he came from. So he decided to move and my mom decided to stay.� �What about you?� I asked. I felt terrible for her being pulled in two different directions. Of course, the evil side of me was glad I wasn�t the only one with problems. �I came here this summer to see the place and try to figure out where I wanted to live. I�ve made up my mind now. I like it here, the people are great and I always got along better with my Dad then Mom. Mom said I could choose so I�m going to stay.� Remy said quietly. �I haven�t told Mom yet.� �No offense but why are you telling me this?� I asked. We were so close to having a sisterly conversation but why now? Why did it take six weeks for us to open up to each other? Remy shrugged. �Because I had to tell someone or I�d explode. Besides you look like you could use something to take your mind off things.� So my mother wasn�t the only one who had noticed my downcast mood as of late. Remy took a sip of her water. �What happened? Do you want to talk about it? Why is Simon mad at you?� I sat up straight. �How did you know it was Simon?� I asked abruptly. Remy peered at me. �Well Simon was the first one you talked to when you got home. Then we all heard you guys yelling and then he stormed out muttering to himself. You guys haven�t spoken yet so I kind of put two and two together. Do you want to tell me about it?� Remy�s concerned face and warm compassion melted my composure and I immediately burst into tears. I found my self blurting out the whole story. Remy listened sympathetically as I explained the whole sordid mess. �I just want my friends back. Well, not Simon particularly, he�s a jerk but I miss Al. She�s been my best friend since 3rd grade. She�s the only one who puts up with me. I�m just so sorry about the whole thing. I�m so stupid.� I moaned putting my head on the table. �So why don�t you go tell Al that? Seriously! She needs to hear that. Besides, I want to talk to her too. I still feel bad the whole Simon thing. I didn�t know he had a girlfriend, honest.� Remy said. Page 7 |