Once upon a time there was an evil scientest named Bill Nye (I assume you all know who I'm talking about). He loved silver toasters (like Bob). So, he decided to start a mental institution, and guess who wandered right in. No, really, guess. Well, no I'm not gonna tell you. COME ON, JUST F*CKING GUESS!!! Well, you'll never know then... Anyways, this "person" was admitted into the mental institution and Mr. Bill Nye stole this person's toaster. A nice, new, shiny, silver, dentless toaster, in perfect working condition. He stashed this taoster in his evil lair until one fateful day, 6 years later.
Bill Nye was called by his agent, who said that they were to do a show on simple machines, and demonstrate how they work using creative ideas. As we all know, there are 6 simple machines: the screw, the pulley, the wheel and axel, the inclined plane, the wedge and the lever. Yes, the lever. Bill Nye had this fascinating idea, to demonstrate the lever, he would use a catupult! He would launch things high into the air, and they would break and shatter upon landing.
Well, he was looking for things to use, and guess what caught his eye. GUESS DAMMIT!!! Well, I'll be nice and tell you, but ONLY THIS TIME, GOTTIT!?! His eyes fell on the mental person's toaster, still in mint condition. He decided that that would be the perfect thing to launch into the air. What he didn't think about was the fact that this mental person had been set free from the institution and was now sitting beside me in Picket-Fence's grade 8 science class, watching this particular show. He got some of his minions to launch the toaster high into the air, and it landed, shattering into a thousand pieces. (Okay, maybe not a THOUSAND, but I need the emphasis, OKAY?.) The mental person let out a yelp of shock, and swore that from that day on, Dude's special army would get Bill Nye for the crime he committed against the toaster.