[Enter Osquello, Desquidoma is sleeping�on the dinning room table]
Osquello:
Iago told me to kill you so I shall! This seems so right, and then�Rio! I will go to Rio with Iago after I kill you!
[Desquidoma wakes up]
Desquidoma:
Oh�Osquello. You�re going to kill me now?
Osquello:
Ya�you and Squidio were playing videogames which means you�ve been cheating on me which means I can�t trust you which means I can trust Iago even though I know he is evil�very evil.
Desquidoma:
But Squidio is gay�
Osquello:
Oh well�I have to kill you now or else the story won�t progress and it will just fall apart.
Desquidoma:
Ya�I know. Could you make it quick though?
Osquello:
Why not?
[Osquello quickly kills Desquidoma]
Osquello:
Okay, now time for my whole �why the hell did I do that?� thing. I loved her and she loved me, but if the story doesn�t progress the ugly squids out there might try to kill me. Maybe suicide is the answer to these crossroads; it got me out of some sticky situations before. But first I should tell people about Iago and his evilness�
[Enter Emelia]
Emelia:
See
[Exit Emelia, moments pass and then Emelia returns with Guard #74 and Iago]
Emelia:
See!
Iago:
Why Osquello, I would never think of you to do this!
Osquello:
YOU TOLD ME TO DO IT YOU EVIL FIEND!
Guard #74:
Wait, before you admit anything lets wait for Gentle Squid #2 and Random Squid to come in. They were behind us.
[Enter Gentle Squid #2 and Random Squid]
Random Squid:
Iago, you got some splainin� to do!
Gentle Squid #2:
Yes, you do. We know you are an evil octopus and that you are being fed information by a cup-and-string phone! We also know that you have been manipulating many people as pawns so you could rise in the ranks and lead the squid army on a mass suicide like lemmings do!
Iago:
Oh, they�re lemmings! I don�t know why but I thought they were squirrels.
Random Squid:
Iago, your manipulation is up! Cuff him guard!
Guard #74:
Can�t I�m on break. I�m going to get some coffee.
[Guard #74 unexpectedly leaves and is then fired]
[Enter Gentle Squid #2�s best friend�s snail�s former roommate�s landlord�s cousin�s evil twin (now Guard #74)]
Guard #74:
I�ll get him!
Random Squid:
Too late! He already killed Emelia and jumped out the building! On top of that Osquello stabbed himself!
Guard #74:
All this death makes me want to leave.
Random Squid:
Ya�me too�
[Exit Random Squid and Guard #74]
Gentle Squid #2:
So�why did you kill yourself Osquello?
[Osquello�s body just sits there�motionless]
So�how�s the weather?
[The body just remains there being corpselike]
You know, if you�re not going to answer me or say anything I�m just going to leave!
[Still nothing from the corpse]
FINE! I�m leaving!
[Exit Gentle Squid #2]