(AKA Stuff I say and make up that may actually be funny)
also, some of theese may be religiosly offensive or biased towards certain social groups.
Once upon a time this story ended and everybody was happy.
While your sitting down reading this, I have been given brief control of your mind.
Never talk back to the TV, it doesn't understand english.
The youth is our future, and if we don't do something soon we will be the past. Lets kill the future now!
Purses are the best weapons, they are random and not suspicious, unless of coarse they give off a raidoactive glow.
If a burocrat fell out a second story window it would take them 7-10 buisness days to land.
Suicide is a perminant solution to a temporyary problem.
Suicide is always an option.
All goths are conformists.
bagpipes = the scottish torture device
oxymoron = christian scientist
I won your soul in a poker game last week, wanna buy it back?
When life gives you lemons, wonder why
Don't knock at deaths door, ring the bell and run away...he hates that
bad things happen to stupid people, and stupid people take it out on smart people...so AVOID STUPID PEOPLE!
Don't say something is as funny as hell, if hell does exist i doubt it is funny