| Jokes |
| A man and his ever nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150." The man thought about it and told the undertaker he would just have his wife shipped home. The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would only spend $150?" The man replied, "Long ago, a man died here, was buried here and three days later, he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance." |
| An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman. Shorly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunningly, gorgeous daughters that took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them. The farmer simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married so you came to the right place. Look over 'em and pick the one you want." The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion. "Well", said the man, "she's just a weeeee bit not that you can hardly notice. . . pigeon-toed." The farmer nodded and suggested that the man go out with one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how things went. "Well", the man replied, "not that you can hardly notice but she's a weeeee bit. . .cross-eyed." The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry." So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified:the baby was the ugliest, most horrific and pathetic human you could imagine. He rushed to the father in law and asked how such a thing could have happened considering the beauty of the parents. "Well," explained the farmer, "she was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell. . . pregnant when you met her. |
| Nun sisters Mary Catherine, Marie Theresa, Katherine Marie, Rose Francis, and Novice Mary Kathleen left the Convent on a trip to St. Patrick's Cathredal in New York City and were sight seeing on a Tuesday in July. It was hot and humid in town and their traditional garb was making them so uncomfortable. They decided to stop in at Paddy McGuire's Pub for a cold soft drink. Paddy had recently added some special legs to his barstools which were the talk of the fashionable east side neighborhood. All five nuns sat up at the bar and were enjoying their Cokes when Monsignor Riley entered the bar through the front door with Father Groban for a cold drink. They were shocked and almost fainted at what they saw. (Look very closely at the picture below. |
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