The News for those few who play real croquet!                                October 8th, 2006

Nathan Cole with his Champions ball along with Snakes...on a Croquet Course!

Nathan Cole clinches Player of the Year with an amazing fifth Tour Championship

Nathan Cole won his fifth Tour Championship on a dry but muddy October day. Nathan outlasted spectators, a unbelievably long first round and Snakes on a Croquet course to win the final event along with another Player of the Year victory. Yes, shocking. Nathan wins again.

You would not have believed it in the first round however. The event started at the Cough Course with eight players including a new rookie in Jennifer Miller. Shockingly, Mike jumped to a lead, he would lead most of the round. Brandon and Steve Unfred were close behind. While King Mike was able to sneak thru most wickets easily the rest struggled, especially with his dreaded hill shot which was argued about early and often. With the lack of spots to land and no grass to stop the ball, most players just counted the turns until the twelve shot rule went into effect. Brandon was so frustrated he accidently hit Mike's truck on the way out. It stopped Brandon from going in the street again and Mike's truck suffered only minor Orange paint damage.

Mike was able to hit the difficult end stick that was back on his very weather damaged pool table for the first round win. Brandon and Steve Unfred were not so lucky and the rest of field caught up. The exceesive mud and damaged table made it quite difficult to land on the table to hit the end stick. Alena shocked everyone including herself by finishing second. Ben quickly took third and was finally followed by Steve Unfred.

Nathan was quick to complain that length of the first round, nearly three and a half hours, was excessive for a three round major. The league wondered if Mike, Nathan's competion for Player of the Year, did it so Nathan couldn't finish. Nathan had work early that night. However, the league agreed it was just poor planning on Mike's part. Nathan took fifth in the round after Steve Roberts missed an amazingly short shot and has his ball fall off the pool table.

Brandon was able to take a very disappointing sixth especially as he was near the lead. Steve Roberts took seventh and the rookie, Jennifer Miller, took a customary last place. While the league was complaining about the length and finishing the round, Mike was setting up a smaller second round course in a nearby park.

The second round started with a shot on a Shaky Bridge that lead to fun. Brandon had the most fun as he got thru the first three wickets in one turn to jump to a big lead. The rest of the field has problems with the first two wickets that both were on playground equipment. Amazingly, the event has no less than eight people watching the proceedings.

However, Mike Cough screwed that up royally. Mike was having a bit of real back luck after falling off the playground equipment either by his doing or another player knocking him off. This would cost him multiple turns and he would fall into last with Alena and Jennifer. Mike took it quite well tossing his mallet and letting off multiple f-bombs. After Brandon asked him to stop cussing, for sake of the children spectators, Mike cussed some more. After chucking his croquet ball and nearly hitting Ben, Mike's world class hissy fit was over and so was all our new fans except one nice gentlemen who stayed and helped the players remember the order of the wickets.

Brandon jumped to a big lead but a few tough wicket near trees allowed Nathan to catch him. They seperated themselves from the rest and Nathan had only a few inches to hit the end stick near some Duck playground equipment. Brandon had about a ten footer to hit the end stick but missed by inches. Nathan won the round with Brandon in second.

Steve Roberts and Ben fought for third but Roberts was able to take an impressive third. Ben took fourth a few turns before Mike recovered for an amazing fifth. Steve Unfred took sixth and Jennifer took seventh. Alena quit early so she could get lunch quicker. Yes, "Hungry Girl" remained quite hungry.

The league broke for lunch before meeting for the final round at the Lasher Course. With a quick look at the standings, Nathan and Mike were tied for the lead. Ben was one point behind with Brandon only two points behind. With four players having a good chance to win the major and Player of the Year up for grabs, it would be another exciting end to the Tour Championship.

The eight players showed up at the Lasher Course to see Snakes on a Croquet course. Literally, tens of fake snakes were near the bench shot. After the fear of snakes wore off, the final round begun. It was pretty much a runaway with Nathan and Ben far in the lead. Nathan was finally able to distance himself from Ben on the ninth and final wicket, the Ladder Shot, and race to the finish. Ben had one last shot to catch Nathan near the end stick, which was surrounded by rocks and weeds near the Lasher's shed. As Nathan was lined up for the win, Ben had one last attempt to hit the end stick and force a playoff for the major. However, Ben's ball was in a poor place and Ben's shot landed a few feet short. Nathan hit the end stick for the round win, tournament win and clinching Player of the Year honors. Before going to work, Nathan took a few pictures with the Tour Champion's ball near the newly beloved Snakes.

Ben bad luck continued as he was passed by a fast charging Steve Roberts for second in the round. Ben took third moments before Mike arrived to take fourth. Brandon blew a decent place as Steve Unfred passed him for fifth. Brandon barely recovered to inch out Jennifer for sixth. She took seventh as Alena quit again for last in the round.

Steve Roberts overcame a horrible first round for fourth place in the Tour Championship. Brandon had one great round between two poor ones for fifth in the event. Steve Unfred took sixth and Alena seventh in the event. Jennifer Miller took the customary rookie last place.

However, one spot was still up for grabs. Ben and Mike were tied for second and had a playoff. Nearly eight hours after the event started, they ended the season on the Bowling Pin shot. Ben was able to go thru the shot on the third attempt as Mike narrowly missed. Ben took second for the event and Mike a respectable third.

Thus ended an eventful final event and season. Nathan was able to take another Tour Championship title and win the Player of the Year honors. Will we telling the same story again in 2007? Only time will tell.

The official 2006 IMC logo

By Brandon Lasher

The 2006 season was the year of the Invasion. After nothing but inter-league fighting for nearly eight years, the Ironman Croquet actually traveled many hours to invade a weaker league called Lakewood Croquet and its Champions Cup.

However, the 8th season started in normal fashion with the Spam Open at the Cough Course. Despite a amazingly lame apperance by Batman, it ended in normal fashion with Nathan Cole victory. The event additionally had the first ever video recording of IMC "action". The action would get better as the year went along....honest.

The year had many memorable moments. The Pez Invitational had a brand new winner in Steve Roberts. Mike Cough became a King. Brandon and Mike ended years of hated and formed an alliance. Another rookie brought by Steve Roberts, Sara Chang, kicked his ass.

While Nathan would additionally win the Tour Championship and the coast trip to the No Lives Classic in Newport, the league was more balanced in terms of wins. Steve Roberts became good with wins in the Pez Invitational and IMC Doubles Championship. Mike Cough won the Frog Tournament and the Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament. Alena ended years of frustation by hitting a miracle shot to win her first ever event, the IMC Doubles Championship. Alas, Brandon Lasher was just frustrated.

Ben Lasher would have an amazing break out year. He nearly pulled out the No Lives Classic and the Tour Championship. However, he would take his first trophy with wins at the Spam Classic and winning the Spam Invitational in the league's first event in Corvallis. Ben became the latest king of Spam.

The league had a milestone with its 100th event. The Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament was this event complete with a cake and return of the Stone Cold Steve Austin Cardboard Cut-out. The event additionally had an outside competitor in the form of MEC's El Diablo Croquet. He was unsuccessful and we ended up with a normal Mike-Nathan final. Nathan's years of frustation in the event continued with Mike's win.

The Orange Shirt Classic had one of the most shocking event in IMC history. Mike in an attempt to win Player of the Year spent most of the event screwing Nathan out of the win. It led to Steve Unfred's benefit as he beat Nathan in a playoff. The whole day was dubbed Black Sunday.

The IMC Tour Championship ended the year with rounds at the Cough Course, a local park and the Lasher Course. The event had many spectators at the Park course but that was aburptly ended by Mike's profanity filled tirade. The event and season ended with Snakes on a Croquet course along with Nathan outlasting Ben to win the Tour Championship and another Player of the Year trophy.

In addition to a highly memorable ten event schedule, the most memorable event was not a league event. Four players of the IMC (Mike, Ben, Brandon and Nathan) drove over four hours on a hot August day to attend Lakewood Croquet's Champions Cup in Seattle's Gasworks Park. Despite the fact the league was outnumbered by Lakewood players nearly 5 to 1, two players (Brandon and Nathan) survived the early rounds to make the finals. Sadly, the day's travel caught up with them and neither player was able to steal Lakewood's league championship. But lessons were learned for next season and we got to visit Seattle.

This was Ironman Croquet 2006. It was a year of Nathan again, shocking alliances, new towns of croquet action and a meeting of two rival leagues. How will the league respond in 2007? Will last year's invasion only led to an all-out war in 2007?

Mike Cough, at his most insane

By King Mike Cough

Kill the king!

The King is corrupt!

The King is evil!

Yeah, I heard it all this year. You would think that being the all-time champion holder of The Spam King award, a back to back Player of the Year and now a third straight winner of the Scott Balthrop Memorial would be enough to grant me some respect. But nooooo! A person acts within the rules to keep the competion tight and people start besmerching him like he kicked a puppy (Editor's Note: Mike has only kicked a puppy and baby once in league history)

I mean come on. Sure I went out of my way to target one individual, Nathan Cole, at the Orange Shirt Classic. I repeatedly sabaotaged his ball making him lose turn after turn. I abandonned my chances of getting a respectable third or fourth in order to bring about a playoff that dropped the Nathan to an eventualy second place. I did what the other "good sports" would not do and threw a wrench in the juggernaut named Nathan. My actions allowed Steve Unfred to win the Orange Shirt, his first Orange Shirt. It showed a hole in the rules that I voted to correct, It closed the point margins and it made things more exciting at the end of the year. For this I am a bad guy.

I was asked "Why did you do it Mike? Why did you turn bad?" My answer is "For my people." A king must look out for the good of the majority. Are the people served by being repeatedly beaten into submission or is variety truely the spice of life? I acted to change the status quo. Many of my subjects complained about the same person winning all the time and I helped to change that. Nathan may have held on to win Player of the Year but I lead for hope of something else.

They say choices are what makes us the people we are. Do we choose a path of goodwill toward others, a spirit of fair play and respect for the game that lead to nobility? Or do we choose a path that promotes personnal agenda's, look for oportunities that will give us an edge and operate with a no hold's barred attitude that promote animosity. There is no denying that nobility is admirable and animosity is looked upon unfavorably. While my sabatoge of Nathan in the mid-season may have gave me a shot at winning the Player of the Year award it closed the gaps and allowed people to realize that no one is unbeatable. If I am to be painted as a villian for one series of actions that proved entertaining enough to have possibly been the moment of the year than that will be my sacrifice.