The News for those few who play real croquet!                                August 28, 2005

Nathan, non-Scott Balthrop winner, is mocked by 2005 Champ Mike Cough

Seven players battle thru tough robin round to sign famous baby chair

Scott Balthrop was remembered with traditional and non-traditional elements. It began with tender heart felt speeches about Ironman Croquet and had good sportsmanship. This was not normal for our league. It ended with exciting match play and Nathan Cole losing the major again. It is good to see that some things never change.

With the dreaded seven players, we proceeded to begin a robin round were all seven players would play each other. Alena, Ben, Brandon, Mike, Nathan, Steve Roberts and Steve Unfred would all play each other to determine four semifinalists. It would lead to some exciting croquet.

The early rounds included some highlights. Steve Roberts lost a huge lead and a chance to upset Mike. Nathan continued tradition by losing a game to Steve Unfred despite an early three wicket lead. Steve Roberts upset match play contender Steve Unfred. The deciding factor was a difficult end stick located near the street. This allowed for precarious lay-up shots or the reoccurring theme of going in the street.

At the half way point of the event, things seemed clear. Nathan, Mike, Brandon, and Steve Unfred had three wins and one loss. Ben and Steve Roberts had one win and three losses. Alena was winless. It looked like we might have the same semifinalists as the last two years.

However, the suspense would not end after the lunch break. Nathan and Mike were able to win enough to safely make the semifinals. Brandon lost two straight including one to Ben. Steve Unfred lost to Mike and had to play Alena. Ben had to beat Steve Roberts and he would make the semifinals. However, a huge lead was lost by going into the dreaded street repeatedly and Steve Roberts won. Ben was out. Steve Roberts had to have Alena win so he might have a shot at the semifinals. Shockingly, Alena was inches from a huge upset and knocked her ball into the street. Steve Unfred won and set-up the semifinals.

In the one round semifinal, Nathan was able to edge past Brandon. The other semifinal had a back and forth match between Steve Unfred and Mike Cough. Both had shots at the end stick before Mike finally hit it. At the same time, a fifth place match occurred between Steve Roberts and Ben. Ben looked to have fifth wrapped up as Steve Roberts hit a miracle shot to steal fifth. Ben took sixth and Alena quit early to take seventh.

Steve Unfred wiped out Brandon to take third place leaving the stage clear for Nathan versus Mike. It was a re-match of the Orange Shirt Classic playoff. Nathan got stuck on the difficult uphill dirt shot allowing Mike to take a massive lead. Mike was able to hit the end stick claiming his second straight Scott Balthrop and the honor of signing the baby chair. Nathan, the most decorated player in Ironman Croquet history, had his seventh top three and third runner-up finish at this major. The one that has always eluded him, continued to do so.

Steve Roberts dicusses his rookie greatness at the 2005 No Lives Classic as Alena blocks out his rantings.

By Stevon Roberts

When I began touring with the IMC league in June, I didn�t expect to keep with it. But after having played in five events, I can honestly say I�m hooked, and I�m not quite sure why.

Despite the camaraderie inherent in such a sport, I feel compelled to smite my opponents with reckless abandon, particularly my arch-nemesis, Brandon Lasher. Brandon lost his faith in my rookie skill and instead placed it on a one-timer who�ll probably never play another game. But I promised myself I wouldn�t let Brandon�s anti-Steve propaganda bother me until his spelling improves, and he did invite me to submit an article, after all. Besides, having crushed him by a devastating margin of 100 Frog Dollars in the Steve-Aid event was satisfying. (This space reserved for the inevitable editorial comment)

(Editor's Note: Brandon has "crushed" Steve Roberts in the other four events that Steve has played)

The prospect of winning isn�t particularly alluring though, because it would be difficult and frustrating to maintain high rankings in a game that�s 80% chance. This was demonstrated to me during Steve-Aid, when the 9th and final wicket resisted three of my superlative pop-shots and reduced me to fifth place from an easy second.

I�ve since contented myself to instead strive for the creative approach, such as when I banked the ball off of a fence to avoid a gravel-trap and sneak through the fourth wicket after Nathan sent it flying at Steve-Aid. And finally, I think this may be what draws me to the craziness that is IMC: the awesome creativity of bored nerds who are tired of sitting in front of their computers or TV's and wanting to do something outside.