The News for those few who play real croquet!                                July 17, 2005

2005 Spam Classic Champion Steve Unfred is attacked by an unknown assailant, (likely Mike Cough).

Steve Unfred beats the heat and Mike's house not destroyed.

"Mike peed his pants!" said Brandon Lasher at the 7th Spam Classic. While it was just Brandon throwing water at Mike, most people did not seem to mind any water being turned on them during the hottest day of the year so far. It is a good thing Mike's course has a lot of shade.

The course started inside Mike's house in his spare bedroom upstairs. The eight players had little trouble going thru the shot at the top of the stairs. Two players, Alena Woicicki and Kyle Stevenson, fell off course and into Mike's living room. Thankfully, the house was not damaged.

The second wicket, in a slanted cement garage, separated the pack with Ben, Brandon, Steve and Mike getting thru it in about a half dozen turns. The other four (Steve Roberts, Keri, Alena and Kyle) were playing catch up the rest of the day.

Brandon had a solid lead until the fifth wicket, the difficult sled onto the pool table. This allowed Steve to claim a led he would not give up. The tournament was close between Steve and Brandon until the eighth shot. This was an uphill shot near a tree. Every player struggled with it with the exception of Steve. This allowed Steve Unfred to claim the victory and allowed him to relax in the shade to watch the finish.

Brandon recovered from the tree wicket to claim a clear second place. Ben and Mike finished third and fourth respectively. Kyle Stevenson, in his first tournament, finished in fifth place. He might have finished higher but launched his ball into a neighbor's yard and went the wrong way thru the difficult tree wicket.

Alena looked to have sixth place wrapped up but fell in the street repeatedly. This allowed Steve Roberts to claim sixth place. An angry Alena took seventh place. Keri took last and left the heat for the day. We play in heavy rain and excessive heat, we are Ironman Croquet!

Kyle Stevenson, much cooler than Steve Roberts

By Brandon Lasher

On July 17, the croquet world was forever changed for the better by a new rookie. This was not another meaningless rookie, like Steve Roberts, this was Kyle Stevenson. The IMC will spend years discussing the impact that he had on the league in just one event.

Kyle life-changing teachings were being discussed by the croquet league already. "Kyle told me that importance of paying attention to the direction you were suppose to go thru a wicket, "described Ben Lasher, "before that occurred I just winged it. Kyle's teachings will improve my game tenfold."

Kyle joined elite company with Nathan Cole at the Spam Classic. He was closely chasing the top four players, in his first tournament no doubt, when he proceeded to launch his croquet ball over a fence. While it hurt Kyle's chances to win, its impact was felt. "That isn't just Kyle's croquet ball up there, that's the human spirit," said Mike Cough.

His impact was even felt by players who were not at the event. "Brandon told me of the amazing play of Kyle Stevenson," described Nathan Cole, "Any player who plays from inside Mike's house and doesn't take a chance to destroy it. Wow. Kyle is a true example of how Ironman Croquet should be played."

This event pretty much clinched the Rookie of the Year honors. " I would call myself a good friend of Steve Roberts," explained Alena Woicicki, "but he is not worthy of taking the honors from a great man like Kyle Stevenson."

Kyle Stevenson, the icon, may not play another IMC event. However, his impact will continue well past this season when he takes Ironman Croquet Rookie of the Year honors from the less important rookies of 2005. Especially any rookies named Steve Roberts.