The News for those few who play real croquet! May 15, 2005
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| A bored Nathan. |
Nathan wins an unprecedented fifth straight Frog Tournament
By Brandon Lasher"Stupid Tiki Gods," said an angry Ben. After having a few attempts to win the 6th annual Frog Tournament, the Tiki Temple End Stick took out Ben. In an end stick he set-up, Ben fell from an apparent first all the way to fifth place. It was also Ben's birthday. Happy Birthday!
Nathan decided to celebrate Ben's big day by beating him yet again. Nathan was looking for an unbelievable fifth straight win in this event. It looked unlikely after a poor deck shot start but he preceded to pass by Steve, Brandon, Mike, and Ben late in the event. The bored Nathan mocked the league as he won again. He quickly forgot about Ben's chance to win or that Brandon finished second one shot after Nathan.
The league welcomed a new member, Brenda Anderson. Her high-pitched squeal frightened the league but she fell just short of passing Alena for sixth place. She settled for seventh place and more ear piercing sounds.
Steve and Mike settled for third and fourth place respectively. A muddy ladder shot slowed them down but they still had time to pass by Ben. Ben finishing in the mud had only birthday presents and lasagna to console him.
| Rank | Attended | Total Money | Average Takings | |
| 1 | Nathan | 2 | $ 10,000 | $ 5,000 |
| 2 | Brandon | 2 | $ 3,700 | $ 1,850 |
| 3 | William | 1 | $ 3,000 | $ 3,000 |
| 4 | Ben | 2 | $ 2,200 | $ 1,100 |
| 5 | Mike | 2 | $ 1,600 | $ 800 |
| 6 | Steve | 1 | $ 1,500 | $ 1,500 |
| 7 | Alena | 1 | $ 1,200 | $ 600 |
| 8 | Brenda | 1 | $ 500 | $ 500 |
Ironman Croquet Doubles Championship will be at 11 a.m., May 29th, at the Unfred Course. A rare occasion players work together as opposed to complaining at each other.
The Upcoming!
Pez Invitational
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| The Tiki Gods oversee the Frog Tournament |
By Brandon Lasher
The IMC has a new enemy. After years of player desertion due to marriage, moving, or boredom we have new problems. The weather is not favoring the league.
It has already taken its toll. The Frog Tournament occurred on a muddy Lasher Course. "The course was damaged, " said a saddened Brandon, "It was made worse by the impromptu Steve and Mike mud fight." For the record, Steve won this epic mud duel.
The rainy weather has taken its toll on players too. Alena quit the Spam Open after an intense period of rain. "We are idiots," said angry Alena, "We are adults playing croquet in the rain!" As league behavior has shown, we are adults in name only.
The league has a long history of rain-filled events. The 2nd No-Lives Classic consisted of the famous Jon Crawford Nun Incident. The retired legend figured a nun-towel look was the best way to combat rain. This incident and a few other rain-filled events were limited throughout league history. It did not occur at back to back events. The problem became clear. It was the Tiki Gods.
The league has started a committee to study the rainy summer which started with the first appearance of the Tiki Gods at the Lasher Course in April 2005. "We will find the reason for the Tiki anger," said Tiki Anger Committee Chairmen William Wolfs, "I will spent all the league's money to stop this terrible curse." The two dollars were quickly spent.
Will the rain return for the next IMC Event? Will Ben's shocking loss at the Tiki Temple End Stick appease this fickle lawn ornament? We will see.