The News for those few who play real croquet!                      May 5, 2001

Brandon and the Peep Posse.

Brandon Wins, Gets Crown.

 
      With three new players and another event only hours away, Brandon Lasher stunned the
Croquet world by beating Alan and many others to become the first winner in the Spam Triple
crown.

      With most players playing well and even the rookies showing promise, it was a good sign
for the league after last weeks low turn out.

	"I've never seen so many stupid people," said one imaginary on-looker, " They should
all get jobs!"

	Stupid or not, Alfonso, Ricky, and William finished sixth, seventh, and eighth beating
league veteran Ben. Ben took the "honor" of winning peeps again. Yeah, Ben!
	
	The tournament came down to a race between Brandon and Mike. Mike took the low road and
tried to eliminate Brandon. It didn't work and Brandon beat Mike to the end stick. In a battle
of the two Spam Kings karma won out. Then before Mike was about to finish Alan hit a flip shot to
steal second from Mike. Karma. But as was Brandon's choice, Alan received peeps as well. Hooray!

		  


The Frog Dollars as they now stand:

Rank  Player  Attended  Total Money  Average Takings
 
  1  Brandon      2         $ 5,700       $  2,850
  1  Steve        2         $ 5,700       $  2,850
  3  Mike         2         $ 4,000       $  2,000
  4  Alan         1         $ 3,000       $  3,000 
  5  Nathan       2         $ 1,800       $    900
  6  Ben          2         $ 1,100       $    550
  7  Alfonso      1         $   600       $    600
  8  Ricky        1         $   500       $    500
  9  William      1         $   400       $    400  

The Frog Memorial Tournament will be May 19, at the Lasher Course. Noon, we will 
remember the Frog, and play Croquet.

The Upcoming!

Midnight Rose Open is June 2, at the dreaded Manka Course. Prepare for the
horror and the dog doo.

The Orange Shirt Classic will be June 9, at the famous Lasher Course. This is our
first Major of the year, an it will be important to all. Many legends will be made on that
day, like so many before it!

Who knew?

	In news that both shocked and amazed the croquet world, Alan Manka, long time pervert 
and woman stalker, got a steady girlfriend.

	"That's it, there is no God.", spoke Mike Cough, in a public press conference for his
millions and millions of fans. "How he could let this happen? Well, I, just don't know."

	God could not be reached for comment.

	Sources close to Alan long believed that Alan had made her up, in a vailed atempt at
deceiving the croquet world as a whole, but certain gross comments by friend, Ricky Gregg, 
and non-doctored photos, proved her existance.

	In related news, the inferno know as Hell had frozen over, long time residents of the
firery pits were forced to seek winter clothes, to compensate for the unseasonable cold.

	"It's the darnest thing, " a local demon told reporters, " I've been here for millions 
of years, punishing sinners, I've never seen snow. Oh, I also never though Alan would have a
Cheerleader for a girlfriend. These are trying times."

	Local Pigs were also seen flying. Though scientist have yet to determine if all three
 events are related.