The News for those few who play real croquet! July 10, 1999
The News for those few who play real croquet! July 10, 1999
Brandon's reign of evil continues, a retiree unretires.
By Ben Lasher
Brandon and his Dark minion, Jon Crawford, took 1st and 2nd . Steve, who
is possibly evil, took 3rd. The Sith lords are controlling the league!
Nathan Cole, a player thought long gone, has returned from retirement. He
had this to say, "I was a little rusty on my technique. I had some fun and
messed around a little. I placed 5th, not great, but O.K. for my first time
back."
Brandon Spider Sense must have been tingling, because he walked away with
a Spiderman figure, the first place prize. Alan who finished last, got an
Aquaman figure because D.C. sucks. He had this to say, "I could have
caught up, but I wanted that figure!"
Mike's course played havoc with all players due to it mostly being
surrounded by the street. All players ended up in it at least once, and it
caused many a lost turn, and almost a few broken windows!
"I may have lost," Mike, the host exclaimed, " but I'm going to Vegas
baby!" Excelsior!
Points as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total points 1st 2nd 3rd M.P.
1 Brandon 8 23 1 2 2 10
2 Jon 6 19 2 3 - -
3 Steve 7 17 2 1 2 2
4 Ben 8 15 1 1 1 6
5 Mike 6 7 1 - 2 -
6 Amy 1 0 - - - -
6 Nathan 1 0 - - - -
6 Scott 1 0 - - - -
9 Alan 2 0 - - - -
The Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament, our next Major, will be August 6th , at 10:00 a.m. at Lasher Course. The winner of this tourney will not only get 10 points, but will also get a replica of the infamous chair shot and other prizes too. And remember, major are three rounds of Ironman Croquet! Lunar Open, will be August 13th, 12:00 p.m. at Steve's course. There is still debate if this event will be at 12:00 p.m. or if later that night. Stay tuned. Later on the Tour: Pez Invitational, August 21st Sport's Day Festival, September 4th Spam Invitational, September 24th The IMC Tournament of Champions. And on October 2nd, the final Major, and last Tourney of the season will occur. Mark your calendars!
"Who the hell is Scott Balthrop," said an wondering Alan. The very fact we have youngsters today that don't who the greatest player ever to play Ironman Croquet, Scott Balthrop, is the very reason we are dedicating our second major in his honor. A man who loved the game more then any other who was taken for our league far too early. "We loved him if only for his money," Steve remembered. Scott was the creative genius behind great shots like the Chair Shot, The Sprinkler Shot, and some others shots we don't use anymore. "He was always big with the ladies," Jon said before breaking down in tears. Scott was definitely the most popular player on tour. After Ben, Brandon, Jon, Steve, Mike, Amy, Nathan, Alan, Max, The Frog, and Bill Clinton. Anyway, Scott was a class act who never (unless it was Ben) knocked your ball across the yard. In reality his gloating was just his way of celebrating the game he loved. Ben, Scott's mortal enemy, had this to say about his missing foe, "I will get him and his little dog too," then he insanely laughed. So that is why August 6, we will remember the greatness of The "Living Legend" Scott Balthrop. The shot genius, the great croquet player, and all around good sport. "There never was a better player then the Living Legend," Brandon was found to say. Indeed.
