The News for those few who play real croquet! June 26, 1999
The News for those few who play real croquet! June 26, 1999
Now Mike and Jon hold a crown, third one up for grabs!
Mike now has to worry about a new king of Spam. Jon Crawford won the Spam
Classic and is now the holder of a spiffy new crown from Burger King! Jon
won the Crown despite recent surgery to his knee. He played the tourney in
a leg brace, and won just a few shots ahead of the other competitors.
Which proves that anyone with the will to compete, can play Ironman Croquet.
He exclaimed, "Adriane! Adriane!" and then went on to mumble more Sylvester
Stallone sayings.
Brandon finished 2ND on the day, and is now the world leader in Ironman
Croquet. Mike, the winner of the Spam Open, finished third.
Now both Mike and Jon will fight to see who will be the Spam king, by
winning the forthcoming Spam Invitational. Or will a third person join in
sharing this honor. Only time will tell.
The rest of the tourney went smoothly. Brandon and Ben did have a debate
over the Shed Happens shot (Ben hates that stupid, crowded, dirty, smelly,
unsafe thing). Brandon was quoted to say, "It's not smelly." But most other
players played with their usual sportsman like conduct. (Except Alan, who
threw is mallet and almost killed Brandon and Jon)
Also of note a new player showed up (although late) Alan Manka joined the
tour. Will he continue to show, or will he join the ever growing list of
sixth place, one timers? Alan had this to say about his first IMC Tourney,
"Sorry I tried to kill you Brandon." Sorry indeed. Brandon is now the evil
tyrant!
Points as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total points 1st 2nd 3rd M.P.
1 Brandon 7 18 - 2 2 10
2 Jon 5 16 2 2 - -
3 Steve 6 16 2 1 1 2
4 Ben 7 15 1 1 1 6
5 Mike 5 7 1 - 2 -
6 Alan 1 0 - - - -
6 Amy 1 0 - - - -
6 Scott 1 0 - - - -
Mike's Marvel Open Invitational will be Saturday, July 10th, at 12:00p.m. This will be our first Tourney held at The Cough course in Eugene. All players will meet at Lasher Course at 11:30 and then caravan over to this new playing field. This will also be our only Tourney in July :( The Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament, our next Major, will be August 6th , at 10:00 a.m. at Lasher Course. The winner of this tourney will not only get 10 points, but will also get a replica of the infamous chair shot and other prizes too. And remember, major are three rounds of Ironman Croquet! Later on the Tour: Lunar Open, August 13th Pez Invitational, August 21st Sport's Day Festival, September 4th Spam Invitational, September 24th The IMC Tournament of Champions. And on October 2nd, the final Major, and last Tourney of the season will occur. Mark your calendars!
A long time ago in a galaxy far away, or perhaps a 3rd class factory with too many meat byproducts, the food of the gods, Spam, was created. Knowing this, when a shortage of dumb names for IMC tournaments threatened the very livelihood of the sport, the Ironman Croquet League thought "What better sponsor to represent the legacy of our sport!" This was the beginning of the Spam Triple Crown. It began with the Spam Open, which was won by the first Spam Master, Mike Cough. It was followed with the Spam Classic, another high-class event where Jon overcame his disability to win first. We didn't let him use a cart...walking is half the sport! Unfortunately, Hormel is no longer the official sponsor of the Spam Triple Crown. Shortly after starting negotiations, they denied us the right to display their name on IMC mallets and player's foreheads. Hormel's reasons for backing out are unknown, but administrators think this has something to do with the fact that we let them know about the deal two days after the Spam Open... But the Spam Triple Crown lives on! We've started the Triple Crown, and we're going to finish it. Show up to the next one, and maybe you too can wear the coveted Burger King Crown of Spam Champions!
