The News for those few who play real croquet!                      August 26, 2000

Devo 2000, if we did it correctly.

Alan holds 8-ball for another year. Steve missed victory by centimeters!

 
	"I wish I knocked his bleeping ball away," said a miffed Steve after missing two
chances at the end stick to win his first event of 2000. As opposed to knocking Alan out 
of contention, he tried to win the honest way and missed by a faction of an inch. Alan 
proceeded to take the back to back title, a miffed Steve runner-up again.
	
	"If you are going to do it, do it all the way!" said jerk Kyle after knocking
Brandon into a cow field to take his first top 3, third, of his young career. Kyle founded
P.A.W. (Players Against Winning) and then proceeded to have his best tournament ever leading
with Alan most of the way until getting stopped by the crappy end stick. All of the players,
besides host Nathan, had a good chance to win. But a hard end stick made it tough to hit and
even harder to tell if it did. Nathan vowed never to place it there again.

	Ben was able to take fourth while Nathan nicely got Brandon's ball out of the cow 
field. Brandon was unable to recover allowing a slumping Nathan to take fifth. A rude P.A.R.
member Brandon took his lumps and last. His woes at the Cole Course continued. I am sure it
is Alan's favorite course. Will he be able to become a three-time champ next year?


The Frog Dollars as they now stand:

Rank  Player  Attended  Total Money  Average Takings
 
  1  Alan       12         $ 33,600       $ 2,800
  2  Kristy      7         $ 30,700       $ 4,386
  3  Nathan     10         $ 24,200       $ 2,420
  4  Jon         6         $ 18,600       $ 3,100
  5  Mike        9         $ 13,700       $ 1,522
  6  Steve       9         $ 13,680       $ 1,520 
  7  Brandon    12         $ 11,800       $   983    
  8  Ben        12         $ 11,480       $   956
  9  Kyle        6         $  2,800       $   467  
 10  Josh        4         $  2,600       $   650
 11  John        2         $    900       $   450
 12  Tessa       2         $    600       $   300	
 13  Rick        1         $    300       $   300
 14  Java        1         $    160       $   160
    

              
Chrono Open is 11:00 a.m., September 2nd , at the Unfred Course, who will
show up for this wacky course?
     
The Upcoming!   
     
September 9th, Spam Invitational, at the Manka Course.

October 14, Ironman Croquet Tournament of Champions, the final battle at three
courses. 

  

Everyone should shoot for P.A.R.

By Brandon Lasher

	Rudeness. Being rude is as common to the game of Ironman Croquet as is frogs, peeps,
and butt jokes. How often have we seen players complain about something. Why the Sportsmen
of the Year usually is not a good sport, but the person who complains the least.

	But at the 2000 Scott Balthrop, a major, it got to an all-time low. Players
working together to get rid of worse players, Kyle eliminating last place finishers, players
threating to leave the sport, or get kicked out. This is not what Scott is about! Maybe it 
is, but it made it a bad experience for all.

	So my associate Steven Unfred and myself have had enough. No more. The complaining must
end. We should applaud good shots and laugh off the bad ones. I mean, you have seen how many 
times players have come from behind to win. Why worry about one bad one? Make the Sportsmen of
the Year a hard choice.

	We of P.A.R. will stop poor behavior were ever we see it. No butt jokes, no cussing, and
no mallet throwing. I say no more. We should all shoot for P.A.R. Make rudeness a relic of the 
I.M.C. past. And it is for your own good.



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