The News for those few who play real croquet! July 15, 2000
The News for those few who play real croquet! July 15, 2000
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| The action of the 2000 Spam Classic. |
Kristy wins again, beating Amish Nathan. Players lose croquet balls in darkness.
By Brandon Lasher
Nathan lost a chance to win again, Kristy pulled off an amazing shot to win again,
Alan lost, and all players struggled to find their croquet balls. The Spam Classic was
just as crazy as the other Spam events.
In the latest finish time for an event, about 10:30 p.m., it was hard to see. Add in
Nathan's flashlighting hating ways and you have lost croquet balls. In fact Ben lost his
multiple times, " I can't find my damn ball!" was the war cry of the night.
Nathan got off to a big lead getting through the nearly impossible Frog Pond on
cement. But Nathan got stuck in the mailbox shot and this allowed Kristy to catch up.
Hitting it from the street, Kristy knocked it twenty feet through the hole. This allowed
her to catch and pass the struggling Nathan. A race to the finish in darkness occured and
Nathan missed his chance to win, thus a fourth straight Kristy win. Mike, the Spam King,
took third and Brandon fourth. Tessa, Alan's sister, debuted in eighth right behind Alan.
As it became hard to see the players a few feet in front of us, Nathan said what we
were all thinking, "Maybe I made a mistake." Indeed. Night Croquet isn't a great idea.
The Frog Dollars as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total Money Average Takings
1 Alan 9 $ 22,400 $ 2,489
2 Kristy 6 $ 20,700 $ 3,450
3 Jon 6 $ 18,600 $ 3,100
4 Nathan 7 $ 16,600 $ 2,371
5 Mike 8 $ 12,100 $ 1,513
6 Brandon 9 $ 9,500 $ 1,056
7 Ben 9 $ 9,480 $ 1,053
8 Steve 6 $ 5,680 $ 947
9 Josh 4 $ 2,600 $ 650
10 Kyle 4 $ 1,600 $ 400
11 John 2 $ 900 $ 450
12 Rick 1 $ 300 $ 300
13 Java 1 $ 160 $ 160
14 Tessa 1 $ 100 $ 100
Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament is 10 a.m., July 22 , at the famed Lasher
Course. Be prepared for all day croquet action as a star-studded field fights in the
Hawaiian themed tribute to the great Scott.
The Upcoming!
August 12, Jon Crawford Memorial Pez Invitational, at the Lasher Course.
August 26, Sports Day Festival, at the Cole Course.
September 2nd, Chrono Open, at the Unfred Course.
September 9th, Spam Invitational, at the Manka Course.
October 14, Ironman Croquet Tournament of Champions, the final battle at three
courses.
Ironman Croquet News: Thanks for joining us today, Scott.
Scott Balthrop: Yeah, Yeah. Let's hurry this up I have things to do.
ICN: Yes. Here we are on the eve of your Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament, what are you thoughts on the now legendary chair shot?
SB: It's all right. But what I am really proud of is the Evil Kenvil Shot.
ICN: Ah yes, the shot at the Ironman Match this year. Why did you decide not to play in this season?
SB: Give other people a chance to win.
ICN: Who do you think is going to win this year's Scott Balthrop? Alan, Brandon, or Kristy?
SB: Actually, I bless Ben to win this year.
ICN: To end your long standing feud. That is very "Living Legend" of you.
SB: I know.
ICN: What do you think of having a "Memorial Tournament" named after you?
SB: Kind of weird but its a good honor.
ICN: And will you be back on tour next year?
SB: Yes, I will return to strike fear in the Ironman Croquet League. To show that I am the Living Legend.
