The News for those few who play real croquet! June 5, 1999
The News for those few who play real croquet! June 5, 1999
Jon showed up, despite recent graduation, and took an easy win over the
rest, despite some inconsistent play by all. Steve (the favorite) only
managed third, due to Brandon's improved play to take second. Ben finished
fourth, and returning legend Scott Balthrop, showed some rusty skills.
(California made him soft!) Ben and Scott, spent most of the game in a
grudge match, giving up free shots to hit the others ball. The "Living
Legend" Scott exclaimed, " I came, I saw, and I lost!" The "Living
Legend" proved his skill by landing a ball on a lawn chair, a first for
this league.
But now about Jon. He was reported to say, " I pissed my pants." This
after almost pulling off one of the greatest shots in history. After
getting off the deck in 3rdplace, Jon took his extra shot and flew off
the Bob Bastard Box, bounced off the Chair Shot, and just missed a
hole-in -one at The Raspberry. " It was one of the greatest athletic
feats in history," said an amazed Brandon.
Steve's poor play is attributed to the fact he constantly was talking
out of his butt, and eating chocolate cookies . His butt was unavailable
for comment.
Brandon was so shocked by an actual decent showing. He was found to say,
"I should threaten to retire more often!" (For those who didn't know,
Brandon threatened to retire, tease him.)
Points as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total points 1st 2nd 3rd
1 Steve 4 14 2 1 1
2 Jon 3 11 1 2 -
3 Ben 5 9 1 1 1
4 Mike 3 6 1 - 1
5 Brandon 5 5 - 1 2
6 Scott 1 0 - - -
The Orange Shirt Classic will take place, Friday, June 11th, 10:00 A.M. This is a Major, three rounds of Iron Man action! Points are doubled , and prizes will be given. First place will get a, well..... orange shirt!!
The 1st annual Orange Shirt Classic, the first major is upon us. The history of this great tourney goes back to the original Orange Shirt Classic in 1999. I was bored. So Ben, Steve, and I had the first event of the croquet tour, The Kickoff Tourney. So we knew with this ever expanding sport, we needed a major and the Orange Shirt was born. Now those stupid guys who hit around a little white ball, have "The Masters Jacket". We will give away a t-shirt in the cheapest and most unpopular color, orange. This is given to the winner of a 3 round marathon. Who will join the past winners such as......and who will be at the Orange Shirt Champions Dinner in 2000 all by themselves? History will be made June 11 at 10 a.m. (Or 9:30 a.m. for you slow pokes) History awaits!!!!!
