The News for those few who play real croquet! July 8,2000
The News for those few who play real croquet! July 8,2000
Brandon blows chance to repeat, while making Kristy his arch-enemy
By Brandon Lasher
In a day where Plasticman was given to last place finisher, Kyle, a brutal war of
words occured as Kristy pulled off her third straight victory. Brandon miffed by his
chance of repeating as Mike Marvel champ went into a fit and angered the hosts. All
the while John harassed Alan, Ben blew his chances to win on the Frog Pond, and Mike got
stuck in a fence. Zounds!
The hosts, Mike and Kristy jumped to an early lead with Brandon and Alan right behind.
Alan, like the others had problems with an insane John who was having fun tormenting the
others as opposed to winning. "This should be a video game," he laughed as the others
chased their croquet balls.
Kristy and the others all had problems with the Frog Pond Shot but she was able to
get by it first with Mike and Brandon right behind. Brandon was able to catch Kristy and
have multiple attempts to knock her out of the way and take shots at the end stick, but
it wasn't to be. An amazing shot by Kristy bouncing off the fence and into the end
stick. Brandon threw a fit causing her to leave before he took second place. He promised
to change his bad sport ways. How we don't know....
Mike got stuck up in the fence and was past by Alan for third. The host was able to
take fourth before John finished a shocking fifth. Ben took sixth, leaving Kyle the great
honor. Getting stuck all day on the bunny shot and many others, Kyle took last which got
the "honor" of a crappy D.C. action figure, Plasticman. To which Kyle responded,
"Plasticman kicks ass!" Maybe we should tell him last place isn't an honor.
The Frog Dollars as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total Money Average Takings
1 Alan 8 $ 22,100 $ 2,763
2 Jon 6 $ 18,600 $ 3,100
3 Kristy 5 $ 15,700 $ 3,140
4 Nathan 6 $ 13,600 $ 2,267
5 Mike 7 $ 11,100 $ 1,586
6 Ben 8 $ 8,880 $ 1,100
7 Brandon 8 $ 8,700 $ 1,088
8 Steve 5 $ 5,180 $ 1,036
9 Josh 4 $ 2,600 $ 650
10 Kyle 4 $ 1,600 $ 400
11 John 2 $ 900 $ 450
11 Rick 1 $ 300 $ 300
12 Java 1 $ 160 $ 160
(The Average takings will be more exciting after more tourneys.)
Spam Classic, the Spam Triple Crown moves to the tough Cole Course. at July 15th starting at 7 p.m.The Upcoming! July 22nd, The Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament, the "other" Major. Be there! Lasher Course August 5th, Pez Invitational, at the Crawford Course. August 26, Sports Day Festival, at the Cole Course. September 2, Chrono Open, at the Unfred Course. September 9, Spam Invitational, at the Manka Course.
Brandon always looking for a way to have new variants on croquet, thought of a new kind of game. A game so brutal, that it inspires fear in the hearts of most players. A kind of match you shouldn't do in 90 degree weather like Steve and Brandon did in the original match. A Ironman Match. The Ironman part is the important thing. Unlike regular croquet where we take long breaks to eat and drink. Where we have to get Alan up from eating to play, those one round games take forever. But Ironman is about playing no stop for 60 minutes. Ok, you do have three sixth second timeouts but it is basically no stop. You start the clock and the players try to finish the course over and over until time expires. If there is a tie in the number of times finished in sixty minutes, it becomes sudden death to see who finishes next. There were two games of this strange game already played. At the end of June, Brandon and Steve played the tryout game. And what a day to play, one of the hottest days of the year. But after each finished three times each it went to sudden death were Steve edged out Brandon by one shot. The second game occured a few days later when "Living Legend" Scott came up and was joined by Mike and Brandon for a three way dance Ironman game. Scott, invented the hardest shot ever called the Evil Kenvil shot. But still the game when well, until Scott gave up trying to win and starting harassing Brandon and Mike's game. But after Scott finished twice and Mike Brandon four times, sudden death started for Mike and Brandon. A back and forth duel, both have a few attempts at the end stick before Brandon hit it. Ironman matches are great for brutal grudges to end. Ironman Croquet may not be ready for the brutality of Ironman matches in regular events, but maybe some day.
