The News for those few who play real croquet! June 17,2000
The News for those few who play real croquet! June 17,2000
The Mike wins, as host distracted by women, again!
By Brandon Lasher
In one of the longest tournaments ever, the first at Alan disgustingly difficult
course 9 players struggled through his course. When the dust settled, Mike, who wasn't
suppose to be at the event, edged out Jon, Kyle blew a chance to win, and Alan, as always
was distracted by women.
Many of the shots took twelve turns for most but Alan and Kyle jumped into the
lead. But a tough ninth shot blew Kyle's hopes and he fell to fifth. Alan was doing good
and looked like another victory for the league leader but Alan's Achilles Heel, women,
distracted him from his game and he barely beat out newcomer John Sewcyck for sixth. The
rookie was impressive in beating the Lasher brothers for seventh. Why Ben was so upset
with the crappy course that he withdrew.
This led to an exciting finish to the game in which an end stick was buried
behind cardboard boxes in Alan small shed. Josh, Nathan, Mike, and Jon all raced to
the finish. But while Josh and Nathan got stuck in the corner of the shed, Jon was
nice enough to create an opening to the end stick. Before Jon could shoot again,
Mike tapped his ball into the end stick claiming his second career win and first of
the year. Jon once again claimed second. Always the bridesmaid never the bride!
Nathan finished a decent third and Josh fourth before they proceeded to join Alan
in girl watching. Mike before he joined them had this to say about his amazing win,
"Good thing, I skipped work!" As Mike was at the last second able to miss work with its
slow down. Thank goodness, Sony has nothing to do!
The Frog Dollars as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total Money Average Takings
1 Alan 7 $ 21,100 $ 3,014
2 Jon 6 $ 18,600 $ 3,100
3 Nathan 6 $ 13,600 $ 2,267
4 Kristy 4 $ 10,700 $ 2,675
5 Mike 6 $ 10,300 $ 1,716
6 Ben 7 $ 8,380 $ 1,197
7 Brandon 7 $ 5,700 $ 814
8 Steve 5 $ 5,180 $ 1,036
9 Josh 4 $ 2,600 $ 650
10 Kyle 3 $ 1,300 $ 433
11 John 1 $ 300 $ 300
11 Rick 1 $ 300 $ 300
12 Java 1 $ 160 $ 160
(The Average takings will be more exciting after more tourneys.)
The Mike Marvel's Open Invitational, will be 11 a.m. at the Cough Course. The fight for the Spiderman figure is on!The Upcoming! July 15th, The Spam Classic, at the Cole Course. July 22nd, The Scott Balthrop Memorial Tournament, the "other" Major. Be there! Lasher Course August 5th, Pez Invitational, at the Crawford Course. August 26, Sports Day Festival, at the Cole Course.
10. Real Cities- It's New York not Gotham, Chicago not Metropolis. 9. Hotter chicks- Blondes, Brunnettes, Redheads. Bye Wonder Woman hello Jean Grey. 8. Smarter Heroes- Reed Richards, Henry Pym, heck even the Hulk was smart for a little bit. 7. More sympathic- When Aunt May died I was sad, when the poor rich boy lost his parents and was left with his butler, mansion and millions I was like "so?" 6. Handicapped Heros- Daredevil, blind. Proffessor X, unable to walk. Aquaman, lost an arm whooppee! 5. No dorky disguises i.e. glasses?!! nuff said. 4. Marvel has Stan's Soapbox, No prizes, and Xcelsior! DC, nothing. 3. Cooler Villians- Dr. Doom, Red Skull, Venom vs. The Scarecrow? 2. Marvel's number one hero-human, DC's number one hero-stinking alien afraid of rocks. 1. Four words: Mary Jane Watson Parker.
