The News for those few who play real croquet! May 13,2000
The News for those few who play real croquet! May 13,2000
Alan, alleged Backstreet Boy , wins. Frog not injured this time!
Three champions in three events, Alan now qualifies for the Tournament of Champions,
but where are all of last year's leaders? Will Steve and Brandon dominate the league
again?
The League's first new event, The Frog Memorial Tournament, was formally The Mummy
Invitational, played the same week as the opening of the movie with the same name. But
after the events unfolded on that day last year, the Frog lay broken, broken by an
editor of this newspaper who will remain nameless.
At the end of the event, Alan, Ben and Jon all had an even chance of winning, all
stuck at the end of the last shot, all aiming at the End Stick. But out of nowhere
swooped in Nathan and took 2nd from Jon, and caused an Ewok sweep. Jon finished 3rd,
Brandon the other Sith Lord finished 7th. The Sith/Ewok war continues.
Alan, as the winner, got his picture taken with the Frog, Croquet icon, (above) the
greatest honor ever bestowed on him. And last place, Josh, another rookie, got a box of
Peeps, a running joke.
On a side note Ben, the greatest editor of the newsletter ever, finished 4th. Kristy,
the other Cough, finished 5th . And Steve, the Assman, finished 6th.
The Frog Dollars as they now stand:
Rank Player Attended Total Money Average Takings
1 Nathan 3 $11,000 $ 3,666
2 Jon 3 $ 9,000 $ 3,000
3 Alan 3 $ 6,600 $ 2,200
4 Brandon 3 $ 2,300 $ 767
5 Ben 3 $ 1,600 $ 534
6 Mike 2 $ 1,100 $ 550
7 Steve 3 $ 1,180 $ 394
8 Kristy 2 $ 700 $ 350
9 Rick 1 $ 300 $ 300
10 Kyle 1 $ 100 $ 100
10 Josh 1 $ 100 $ 100
(The Average takings will be more exciting after more tourneys.)
The Ironman Croquet Doubles Championship, is May 20 at 5:30 p.m. at the Unfred Course. Prepare for a different style of play with two croquet players on a team!The Upcoming! May 27th, We-Have-No-Lives Classic, at the Lasher Course. June 3rd, The Orange Shirt Classic, at the Lasher Course. June 17th, The Midnight Rose Open, at the Manka Course. (Not at Midnight, at least I hope to god it isn't) July 8th, The Mike Marvel Open Invitational, at the Cough Course.
A great debate has waged ever since the creation of the league, which made for the
better ball, a plastic or a wood one?
Both are round, allowing for rolling, but past that the difference are shocking.
Plastic balls are more readily available now, due to them being cheaper to
manufacture. Wood balls are a novelty only found in the most expensive, mail
order catalogs. But which one works the best overall?
Plastic is lighter, so it doesn't roll well, which means it glides across the
surface, and can be effected by grass length, but is a boon in wet grass, and gets
better distance in those conditions.
Plastic balls also tend to dent in the hard action of Ironman Croquet, getting
little groves and skids changing the direction of the roll on hard, flat surfaces.
Wood tends to chip off the paint, but the ball usually holds it's shape.
Plastic balls are smaller than wood, making them better suited to go though
small holes in shots like the Petrified Forest or Pin in the Neck. But plastic
lacks the weight to move the shot obstacle out of it's way like wood can.
But what this really means is small adjustments in play means that it's the
player, not the ball, who wins.
