The News for those few who play real croquet!                 May 31, 1999

No-Steve, not Steve Busters.

Steve didn't come, so someone else won.

Well, Ben got the win, due to the street screwing Mike over. Mike went from 
1st to 3rd. Jon was in third after the 7th wicket, but managed to get second. 
The deck shot took one fatality, Brandon, yet again. Brandon was quoted as 
saying. " Oh, I'm miffed!"

Ben said upon winning, " Thank God Steve didn't show up. The Tourney 
only took an hour."

Mike was found to say, "Barricade the damn street!" 

Jon was unavalible for comment. Jon brought PEZ, so for those of you who 
didn't show..... Points as they now stand:

Rank     Player       Attended      Total points   1st   2nd   3rd 

1        Steve            3              13         2     1     - 
2        Ben              4               9         1     1     1 
3        Jon              2               6         -     2     - 
4        Mike             3               6         1     -     1
5        Brandon          4               2         -     -     2 

Due to Mike not being able to attend, The Spam Classic has been 
delayed! This is mostly because he won The Spam Open, and wants to attempt 
to take the Spam Triple Crown. The We-Have-No-Lives-Classic will take 
its place, Saturday, June 5th , 6:30 P.M. This is occurring due to the 
triumphant return of Croquet legend, Scott Balthrop. (He's visiting from
California, and is the inventor of the beloved, or cursed, Chair Shot) 

The Orange Shirt Classic will take place, Friday, June 11th, 10:00 A.M.
This is a Major, three rounds of Iron Man action! Points are doubled , and 
prizes will be given. First place will get a, well..... orange shirt!! 

We also plan to have at least one open at Steve's house, and another Major in
August. The Spam Classic will also be in June, at a yet to be decided 
time. 

	"He was so young to be taken from us, and he will be missed." said
Ben. During the Mummy Invitational, May 7th , the Frog, a staple of the Frog
Shot, had excessive damage done to his chest, and will no longer be able to 
stand behind the wicket, to prevent further damage. 

	Steve Unfred, creator of the beloved shot, was too devastated to 
make a comment. 

	Brandon Lasher, commissioner, had this statement prepared. "The sport
of Iron-Man Croquet was shocked and appalled by this sudden and tragic 
accident, send your thoughts and prayers to the Frog for a speedy recovery."

	Ben was attempting to catch up to Jon Crawford in the game and nailed
the Frog a little too hard, "He had taken shots before," said Ben, "I thought
he could take it."

	Doctors say the Frog's age, and constant strain due to this activity,
had added to the injury. The Frog will now only over look the wicket. A far 
cry from his glory days.





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