Intrepid Traveler - Part 11
“I can’t believe he said yes.”
Justin looked up and smiled. “I told you he’s changed.” Even though he sounded confident about his place in Brian’s life right now, inside he was anything but. He still couldn’t believe himself that Brian not only didn’t laugh in his face when Justin asked him to go away for the weekend to Altoona with a couple of Nick’s friends, but he actually agreed.
It was a couple of days earlier when Nick mentioned it to him – that he, along with his two friends, decided to celebrate surviving midterms and drive to Altoona for a couple of days. The town wasn’t anything fancy, but it was cheap enough for PSU students to have a little fun. Which sounded fabulous to Justin who was used to a little more than a couple of bars and eating pizza every other day.
Of course, he knew that getting Brian to go along with the plan would have been next to impossible. In the two plus something years he had known Brian back in the future they had only planned on going away together once. And that turned out to be a bigger disaster than Justin running away to New York with Brian’s credit card. At least, that trip included a morning brunch and one of the hottest fucks to date. The Vermont disaster, as Justin learned to affectionately refer to the trip, did nothing more than to put an even bigger rift between the two of them, directly leading to his current situation.
In any case, Justin decided that it was time to try again. To at least give it a shot. So, he prepared this whole big speech on all the fun things they’d get to do in Altoona, not the least of which would have been unlimited love making.
The place and the time were chosen carefully. Brian’s dorm room. Right after the hottest blowjob in the history of blowjobs and before the main event of the evening, which Justin hoped wouldn’t get spoiled by his plan. So, as soon as Brian seemed to have his breathing back to normal and was more or less coherent, Justin dropped the bomb.
And then he just held his breath, waiting for Brian’s response, hoping only that his face wouldn’t betray him when he would hear a big fat “No.”
But he didn’t have to worry about it.
“Ok,” Brian simply said.
“What did you say?” Justin found himself asking, not entirely sure he didn’t just imagine Brian’s response.
“I said ok,” Brian repeated, a tiny smile playing on his lips. “I’ll go.”
Eyeing his boyfriend carefully, Justin searched for any sign that the other teen was toying with him, that it was just some cruel joke that Brian cooked up and any moment now he’d burst out laughing and shouting “Gotcha!” But the time passed and Brian’s face didn’t distort in some evil grin and he didn’t start dancing around Justin, singing, “You’re an idiot!” the way Justin imagined he would. He simply laid on the tiny bed waiting for…Justin wasn’t entirely sure what Brian was waiting for, but it was apparent now that the brunet was not joking or teasing or mocking him. He really agreed to go away for the weekend.
Feeling the stress flow out of his body, Justin found himself moving back into his boyfriend’s awaiting arms, their lips locking as soon as their faces were close enough.
“You won’t be sorry,” he murmured in Brian’s ear, slightly pulling away. “It’s gonna be great.”
“Knowing you, you probably got everything planned, down to the minute,” Brian commented.
“Don’t worry. Sucking and fucking are a big part of the trip,” Justin assured him.
“You mean, the main part of the trip, right?” Brian corrected him. “The most time-consuming part of the trip.”
Justin’s smiled as he carefully pushed himself off the bed and moved over to lie on top of Brian, smiling wider when two strong arms wrapped around him. “Mr. Kinney, I can assure you that you will not be left wanting.”
Lips rolled into his mouth, Brian gazed at the blond-haired boy in his arms. “Can I get that in writing?”
“Sure. Where would you like it?”
Brian’s response was to grind his once again hard cock again Justin’s as he placed one hand on the back of the artist’s head and pulled him down for a kiss. In one swift motion, Justin was on his back, Brian’s lean, long body blanketing him.
Justin moaned as Brian’s tongue began it’s slow, torturous descend down his body. By the time Brian’s reached his cock, Justin’s whole body felt like it was on fire, burning to a slow death. And the cause for this torture was his only salvation, the only person who could hurt him so much and bring him the most incredible pleasure he had ever experienced, sometimes all at the same time.
He gasped and moaned and begged for Brian to be inside him and he knew that Brian loved it. Loved every minute of it. Loved having so much power over him. And Justin didn’t care. He would have given anything to feel the other man’s cock sliding inside his tight hole. To be one with him. Nothing…nobody could ever…would ever compare to the feeling of Brian inside him.
“Brian, please,” he whimpered, all thoughts leaving his mind, the only one left was of Brian. About Brian. Brian. Brian. Brian! BRIAN!!!
“Hey, where’d you go?”
Justin looked up, the sound of his friend’s voice bringing him back to the present. He sighed, looking away guiltily. He completely forgot that the other man was even in the room, getting lost in the memory instead.
“Nowhere,” Justin lied, focusing his attention on the easel. Since they were going to be gone all weekend, he and Nick needed to finish their project for the Life class. Which was exactly what Justin tried hard to focus on, while avoiding the all-inquiring gaze of his best friend.
Nick snickered. “Jesus, do you ever NOT think about Brian Kinney?”
Justin blew out a puff of air and met Nick’s eyes.
The brunet shook his head. “I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody as in love as you are.”
Justin’s mouth curved at the corners. “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”
Nick sighed. “It’s not. I just…” he looked away, then back at Justin. “I just don’t want you to get hurt again, that’s all.”
“What makes you think I will?” Justin asked defensively, even though he knew the answer to the question before he even asked it. They were talking about Brian Kinney, after all. As Daphne once said, ‘Don’t get too comfortable.’ He could never get too comfortable with Brian. Because as soon as he dropped his guard, he’d be shoved off Mt. Kinney quicker than he could say ‘fuck me’.
But he still couldn’t help hoping that maybe this time it would be different. After all, this was a different Brian. This was Brian that actually admitted that he wanted Justin in his life.
Nick didn’t respond to that. Instead, he walked over, standing mere inches away from Justin. “Whatever happens, I just want you to know that I’m here,” he said softly.
A tiny smile graced Justin’s lips and he wrapped his arms around his friend’s shoulders. “Thanks.”
~~~***~~~***~~~
Brian stood frozen, unable to move as he watched them, his chest feeling heavy, filling with something…an emotion that he had no control over and no idea how to deal with it.
His whole day felt like one big curse. First, his Chem professor was on his case. Then at work he somehow got coerced into answering the phones. By the end of his three-hour shift he was ready to strangle the next person to ask him a question. The only thing that got him through the day was the thought of getting to his room and finding Taylor there. Which, in and of itself, scared the living shit out of him.
He never before felt the need for another human being. Never allowed himself the luxury to rely on somebody else, to depend on another person for comfort. Except maybe for Michael, but that was different. Michael was his friend. His best friend. And the whole comforting thing and being yourself sort of came with the territory. There was no threat of Michael hurting him, he was sure of it. Same with Lindsay. He could be himself with them and not be afraid that they would somehow use it to their own advantage, use it to hurt him. Like his dear parents did all his life.
But with Taylor – he tried to push the young artist away, but somehow the blond just kept coming back or kept pulling him back in. Brian wasn’t sure anymore of what was happening. He felt completely out of control. And it was exhilarating but also completely paralyzing.
Yet, despite of the fear, of the possibility that Taylor would one day hurt him, Brian found himself craving the closeness he shared with the artist. Craving the feeling of falling asleep next to somebody who he knew would be there in the morning – even if neither one of them would be able to feel some of their limbs due to the size of the very uncomfortable bed.
That same feeling drove Brian to walk all the way over to the studio where he knew Taylor would be working on a project in order to have it finished before their little trip.
Brian surprised himself as much as Taylor when he agreed to go away. Not under any circumstances did he ever imagine himself being stuck on a road trip with Nick and his little friends. But the thought of spending the whole weekend with Taylor in something other than his dorm, class, or cafeteria was good enough reason to agree. Besides, the two of them would just drive in Brian’s car, which eliminated the whole Nick and his friends factor, which definitely worked for Brian. The less time he spent around Nick, the better it would be for everybody. And the less time Taylor spent around Nick, well…
No matter how many times Taylor would tell him that Nick and he were just friends, Brian couldn’t let go of the feeling, the knowledge that he saw something there. Between his lover and the other man. He wasn’t sure if it was the way Nick would look at Taylor at times when he thought no one was watching. Or the way the two of them just seemed so completely at ease with each other, so comfortable sharing their deepest secrets – something that Brian never had with anybody, not even Michael.
Not until now. Not until Taylor completely embedded himself into Brian’s life. And the more time had passed, the bigger Brian’s fear grew that one day he’d lose it. Lose the one person that seemed to know him better than he knew himself. He tried his hardest to not let this feeling of dread consume him, not let it ruin his time with Taylor. But as he stood in front of the open door into the studio watching the two men, arms around each other, Brian lost the battle.
~~~***~~~***~~~
Justin glanced at his watch once again. 7:40pm. Forty minutes later than what they agreed on. And even for Brian who loved making a grand entrance this counted as late. Very late.
“It’s getting late,” Nick said walking up to him.
Justin nodded. “I know.”
“Well, where is he?”
The blond shrugged.
“Are you sure he knew we were leaving at seven?”
Justin nodded. “He knew,” he whispered, hating the sound of disappointment in his voice. He told himself a thousand times not to get too excited, that this whole thing was too good to be true. But obviously it didn’t work. And now he found himself tumbling down the fucking mountain once again.
He felt a hand on his arm. Looking up, his eyes locked on two grey ones.
“Why don’t you just come with us? We’ll have fun,” Nick offered.
But he did that once. Went away alone on the trip that was supposed to be about him and Brian. And he hated every single minute of it. Not to mention the consequences. Justin shook his head, stepping away from his friend. “No, it’s fine.”
“Taylor…”
“Have fun,” Justin managed a brave smile.
Thankfully, Nick gave up trying to get him to come with them. Nodding and waving a good-bye, the brunet headed back to the parked car.
Watching his friends drive away, Justin picked up his bag and started walking back to the dorm. Climbing the stairs, he paused on the third floor just for a moment, trying to decide whether he wanted to put himself through more pain than he was already in. The truth was, he knew before he even got up to Brian’s door what he was going to find there. Yet, he still made himself walk up the stairs and down the hall and stand in front of the door leading into Brian’s room and listen – the moans and groans that could not have been mistaken.
He wasn’t sure how long he just stood there, listening. After a while, he forced himself to turn away, needing desperately to be alone, to stop hearing and seeing and imagining things that made his stomach churn and chest hurt as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest.
Justin made his way back to his room, praying that Jim would not be inside, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to deal with an obnoxious roommate. When he opened the door, Justin let out a sigh of relief. The room was empty.
He flicked the light switch on and proceeded inside. Dropping the backpack near his bed, Justin walked over to the desk. He reached for the lamp in the corner when his mind registered what he saw spread out on the rough surface of the old desk before him.
It felt as if all the air was suddenly sucked out of the room and he couldn’t breathe. His heart pounded like crazy and all he could do was stare at what once were his sketches. Some were ripped to shreds. Others crumbled bellow on the floor. And one in the middle of the desk staring back at him with big red letters written over a drawing of Brian – “Faggots Die.”
The room was spinning around him and all he could see were the red letters that were getting bigger and bigger until all he could see were the two words. Faggots Die.
He needed to get out of there. Needed to get outside. To breathe. To get one breath of fresh air into his lungs. With one last look at the mess on the desk, Justin bolted out of the room.
Go to Part 12