There was an Irishman, a New Zealand man and an American man standing on the roof of a building, with an awning below them.

The American said to the Irishman: "I bet I could jump off this roof, land on the awning and bounce back off." So he jumped off, hit the awning, and was soon back on the roof. "There. Now you try." he said to the Irishman.

So the Irishman jumped off, and fell SPLAT on the ground.

The New Zealander said to the American: "Jeez, Superman, you are a real jerk sometimes!"

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Q: Why are there so few Irish lawyers?

A: The majority of them can't pass the bar!

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It has been said that an Englishman thinks and speaks.
A Scot thinks twice before he speaks,
and an Irishman speaks before he thinks.

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Irish Potato Garden
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden.
The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.

Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

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Did you hear about the Irishman who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

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How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the hatch.
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How can you identify an Irish pirate?
He's the one with patches over both eyes.
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