| Salutation to the Blessed Goddesses Hail Crazy lady, Most bitchy Queen, Eris Mother of All, Ever laughing lady; Chosing the most mutant superheroes to be Consecrated by her, With her most only beloved sister Aneris The death Whom descends upon us, the mutant supermen, In all the fullness of life, To take us away. Hail Eris Hail Aneris Hail the birth Hail the death Hail the Mother Hail the handmaid (of death) And all hail Macbeth Thane of Cawdor. |
 |
| Prayer will make it better! |
| After Dinner Prayer |
| Our dinner, A gift from heaven, Was eaten in thy name. The wine did come, Then dinner was done, In mirth I drank 7 (bottles of wine), Forgive us our drunkeness, As we forgive those who vomit upon us. Lead us not into constipation, But deliver us from diarrhea. For thine is the order, disorder and confusion, Forever and ever. |
| Girlscout Cookie Prayer |
| Hail to Eris, May the treats come shaped as a pentagon, And may other treats come like the golden apple, So that we may partake of the sweetness. And let maidens in brown or green deliver the treats. Blessed Eris if only door to door cookie distribution could also give the profits made to a summer camp of something. Blessed is thy chaos. |
| Prayer Before a Donut Come, O blessed sprinkles and fatten up my bottom, so that my soul maybe more likely to also become fat with the lard of the grand spirit of God. |
| Bloody Hell, Save Me! Save me from my great arch-enemy, the republicans, Save me from all green crawling things, such as ninja turtles, Save me from thirst for more liquor, may my glass always be half full. Save me from hyponotists, mafia men, doctors, policemen and gangstas, they all want my money I tell you! Save me from my paranoia. |