You must go to the biggest grocery store in your town. Once you have reached the store you will enter and walk up and down every single isle. Look at every product, until you find something you find humorous. Once you have found something humorous purchase this product and send a picture of it to me. If you cannot find an item that you think is funny, go to the frozen foods section and remove the items from the freezer until there is enough room for you to get in, and then step into the freezer and stay until you are cryogenically frozen and await the future when there will hopefully be funnier products to send me pictures of. If I die before you find a humorous product pictures may be sent to the future holders of my estate.
If you do not have time to be frozen then speak with the manager of the Supermarket. Stores such as HyVee are "employee owned" so the manager may own stock in the store, or even own the store, so he is supposed to care if you are unsatisfied. Tell him how unhappy you are that you cannot find a product to make you laugh and tell him he better make some changes or else your whole church will boycott the store. Speak loudly about how important your church is and how some of it's members are even congressmen and independant Italian businessmen. Then say "I will make you an offer you can't refuse," then ask him for 5 bucks.
Once you get this 5 bucks send a picture of it to me. |
