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ERIS |
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The legend behind the Goddess. |
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In the beginning there was just Void. And he had two daughters, who were twins, but fraternal twins because Void seems to be male. One was Being, named Eris (our heroine!) and the other was Non-Being, named Aneris. Eris was born pregnant and carried her load for 55 years, because goddesses are pregnant for a long time and then she had a bunch of stuff that was composed of the 5 elements, sweet, boom, pungent, prickle, and orange. And she started sorting it into groups and brought order to the chaos of her off spring and had lots of fun. Aneris was born sterile, because she is non-being, and Aneris was jealous, so she stole some existent stuff and said it was her own, and made it non-existent. Eris was sad so she gave birth to more things, and swore that no matter how much stuff her sister stole she would make more and Aneris swore she would steal as much as she could. Much like the fight Izanagi and Izanami had in Japanese myth.
Anyhow Eris has fun putting her babies into order, then she thinks, what if I mess up the order a little bit, and she gets disorder, and she likes this game too. Then she had order and disorder play against eachother in a sort of olympics. And she likes to see who wins. But Parenting of humans by humans should not be done this way. Putting siblings in competion of eachother is bad. Eris is a Goddess, she needs to put things like that to make our lives interesting.
Anyhoo, Eris named the disorder side Eristic and the order side Aneristic to flatter her sister so she would stop stealing so much.
Then Void decided there needed to be more to the universe and made Eris and Aneris a brother who had no name and was that of Spirituallity, and Void decided that this brother should hang out with Aneris and Eris, but Eris was sad because she knew Aneris would take Spirituallity into non-being and then Eris would never get to let him into her world of Being. So Void decided that after Spirituality was done with hanging out with his sisters he would go back into Void, because that is where everything came from. |
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Then much much later, when there were other Gods and Goddesses and Eris was an old woman Zeus was throwing a wedding party for two greeks who are not important. At this party the deities were going to eat ambrosia which is known in modern times as hot dogs. Because Eris set everything into order and then disordered it and f*cked with her children's heads like that she became known as the Goddess of Confusion, and Zeus didn't want to invite her because he thought she would ruin the party. This act of Zeus is known as the Original Snub, and because of it we can't eat hot dog buns. And as Wiccordians, you can't eat hot dogs either, unless you really want to. But since Eris gave birth to everything that is existant she was essentially Zeus's mom and she was pissed off about her son rejecting her in this way, and so she decided to punish her children. So she went to Limbo Peak (where the party was being held) and she brought with her a golden apple which had "Kallisti" written on it, and Kallisti means "to the prettiest one" in Greek. So she threw the apple into the party as she walked by and then it landed between Athena, Aphrodite and Hera. And all the girls argued over who was prettiest. And it was a big cat fight and evidentally some punch was spilled. So they all went to Zeus. And Athena was Zeus's daughter so he thought she was pretty in a father way, but didn't want to make it seem like he liked her in an incestous way, and Hera was his wife, and before the party he had spent all this time telling her she didn't look fat in her toga, so he couldn't say anyone but her either, and for some reason he couldn't deny the Goddess of Love's beauty either, so he put the job onto a mortal, so that a pointless human could feel the wrath of the rejected goddesses, whoever they maybe.
And this mortal was Paris. So the Goddesses went to him, and Athena tried to bribe him with the promises of victory in war, and Hera tried the bribe him with the promise of wealth, and Aphrodite tried the promise of the most beautiful mortal woman on Earth. And being a horny French farmer Paris chose Aphrodite. So the Spartan Queen Helena became Paris's wife, and Sparta got pissed and they wanted their Queen back and it became the Trojan war. |
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| Then it is supposed by prophets that Eris embezzeled from the Olympian Treasury and moved to Brazil, where she opened a whorehouse which she ran for the next 3125 years. |
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| Then in the 1950's Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger were sitting in a bowling alley and a chimpanzee appeared to them and told them that someone had put all that confusion there and gave them the Sacred Chao. The dudes didn't know what to make of the symbol and then they studied it and translated the Greek on the apple and found the story of Eris, who the Romans ripped off (like all the Greek Gods) and renamed Discordia. Then Eris appeared to them and talked to them about the state of the world and said that humans are hindered by fear and misunderstanding. Then she said that we are all free, and that there is no tyranny in the state of confusion. Then the guys realized that occultists who divided things into opposites such as male and female or positive and negative were all backwards, the real cosmic opposites were Order and Disorder. So then they wrote the Principia Discordia and started the POEE (Paratheo-anametamystikhood Of Eris Esoteric). |
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Home |
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What is the difference between creative order/disorder and destructive order/disorder? And which is the one for me if I am part of this religion? |
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