NEW WORDS FOR 2002 - Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing
why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot
of noise, craps on
everything and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than
working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day
swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something
loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see
what's going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line answer to the couch potato.

SITCOM: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive
Mortgage. What yuppies
turn into when they have children and one of them
stops working to stay
home with the kids.

STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that
ends in divorce with
no kids, no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being
stressed out and
whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered
useless because
the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies
from one's
workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trial was a prime example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the shit out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for some computer commands.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web
error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could
not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are
exactly the same
no matter where one is, such as fast food joints,
strip malls,
subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which
you realize that
you've just made a BIG mistake.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks