Love, Lust, or Marriage?

How do you know if you're in love, in lust, or really married? For those 
of you who have any questions, or misplaced envy, this should clear it up ;) 

LOVE - When your eyes meet across a crowded room. 
LUST - When your tongues meet across a crowded room. 
MARRIAGE - When you lose your child in crowded room. 

LOVE - When intercourse is called "making love." 
LUST - When intercourse is called "screwing." 
MARRIAGE - What the hell are you talking about? 

LOVE - When you share everything you own. 
LUST - When you steal everything they own. 
MARRIAGE - When the bank owns everything. 

LOVE - When it doesn't matter if you don't climax. 
LUST - When the relationship is over if you don't climax. 
MARRIAGE - What's a climax? 

LOVE - When you write poems about your partner. 
LUST - When all you write is your phone number. 
MARRIAGE - When all you write is cheques. 

LOVE - When you show concern for your partner's feelings. 
LUST - When you couldn't give a &*%$ 
MARRIAGE -When your only concern is what's on TV. 

LOVE - When your farewell is "I love you, darling..." 
LUST - When your farewell is "So, same time next week..." 
MARRIAGE - When your farewell is a relief. 

LOVE - When you are proud to be seen in public with your partner. 
LUST - When you only see each other naked. 
MARRIAGE - When you never see each other awake. 

LOVE - When your heart flutters every time you see them. 
LUST - When your groin twitches every time you see them. 
MARRIAGE - When your wallet empties every time you see them. 

LOVE - When nobody else matters. 
LUST - When nobody else knows. 
MARRIAGE - When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. 

LOVE - When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel. 
LUST - When the song on the radio determines how you do it. 
MARRIAGE - When you listen to talk radio. 

LOVE - When breaking up is something you try not to think about. 
LUST - When staying together is something you try not to think about. 
MARRIAGE - When just getting through today is your only thought. 

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner. 
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things TO your partner. 
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your golf score.