1. Your body habitus could be described as: Morbidly obese Obese Buff Shapely Stickly
2. What is your career of choice? Lawyer Doctor Homemaker Systems Analyst Bartender Stripper/Chief Justice of the Supreme Court Illiterate clown Teacher
3. Have you ever attempted murder? Yes No
4. What is your school of choice? Yale Caltech Hollywood Upstairs Medical College Harvard Brown Vassar Bovine University Clown College (i.e. Princeton)
5. What is your religion? Christian Jewish Buddhist Hindu Snake Handler the one with all the well-meaning rules that don't work out in real life Misc.
6. What are you sick of? hoagies the coroner Razor Fight II: The Slashening these constant bear attacks Ray Jay Johnson yo-yos
7. Which medical conditions do you have? Lyme Disease Acute hypochondria Homer Simpson Syndrome Kidney failure Amoria phlebitis Falling on a bullet that got wedged into your chest Skin failure Hysterical pregnancy
8. Do you think Ziggy has gotten too preachy lately? Yes No
9. Which of the following aliases do you sometimes go by? Chesty LaRue Nguyen Van Phuoc McBain Armand Tanzarian Brian McGee Rory B. Bellows Santos L. Halper Mohammad Jafar Joey Joe Joe Jr Shabadoo
10. What is your favorite meal of the day? Kippers for breakfast (on St. Swithin's Day) Brunch the meal between breakfast and brunch Lunch Dinner Dessert the feast of Maximum Occupancy
11. How would you describe yourself? Brainy this century's Dennis the Menace lazy, clumsy, dim-witted, and monstrously ugly the richest guy you know a mafia hitman the school bully proactive and totally in your face
12. What are you most afraid of? flying sock puppets blood cupcakes the king of England pushing you around
13. Do you think eggs have gotten a bad rap lately? Yes No
14. When it comes to relationships, you are: Eternally faithful Sometimes tempted Have strayed Comfortable with your womanizing A homewrecker Gay
15. What is your favorite catch phrase? D'oh Ay carumba You're off your case, chief Worst episode ever Excellent Thank you, come again I'm a bad wittle boy Ay chihuahua Radical! If anyone wants me, I'll be in my room
16. How many children do you have? none 1 2 3 8 greater than 20
17. Who have you had a crush on? an older woman the oldest woman the school bully a Beatle MacGyver Lisa a billionaire your sister
18. What are you doing this weekend? Something gay, no doubt Bringing a microscope to the beach Sex cauldron Sharpening pencils Going to the dog races Touring the bridges of Madison County
19. What would be an appropriate nickname for you? Springfield Fats Spanky Bleeding Gums Kid Presentable Diamond Joe Grifty McGrift
20. What sort of vehicle do you drive? Light pink VW Canyonero Hum V Limo Bike School bus You prefer to be carried
21. Have you ever seen a man say goodbye to his shoes before? Once No
22. What languages do you speak? Klingon Hindi French Spanish American
23. What is your level of intelligence? Genius Smart Average A little slow Smrt "Extended warranty? How can I lose?"
24. What kind of surgeries have you had? Triple bypass kidney transplant lung and kidney removed boob job a real boy operation twisted stomach repair appendix taken out
25. What is your secret shame? Picking your nose Wetting your bed Eating flowers Gambling Fabrege eggs Murder
26. What is your favorite animal? Fish Pony Elephant Lawyer-bird Fox Pocket fox Rockin' Dog Smell-hound Octopussy
27. Of what weren't you informed? The grammar rodeo The optics fair Chili Cook-off A counterfeit jeans operation running out of your car hole That teachers can go through red lights
28. Who is your hero? A washed out clown A jazz musician Mr. T Ringo John Travolta Stan Lee Matlock
29. What is your favorite kind of music? Christian Jazz "It's Raining Men" Disco Rock and/or roll MacArthur Park on the tablah Cyanide, a loving tribute to Poison
30. Do you ever get tired of being wrong? No Sometimes
31. What do you collect? Sugar Malibu Stacy dolls Stamps Women Silhouettes MacGyver's hair
32. When you stick your hand into the pile of goo that's your best friend's face, will you know what to do? Yes Forget it, Marge, it's Chinatown
33. True or false: You can get mono from riding the monorail. False No wait, maybe it's true
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