ANGEL OF MINE: ONE MORE CHANCE

 

In the dark, as always, I was waiting there for you. But as usually you didn't come. Too tired to think, too awake to sleep, my thoughts just wondered off. They were with you. I was with you, in your mind…in your bed. The place I wanted to be. It’s not first time we were here. But now, I’m only here…you’re not. You’re away, as you ever been. It’s not your fault, and you don’t hurt me purposely. But you always do. When you don’t understand me, and you say that you will. It’s difficult to be with you. To live up to your expectations. It’s a thing I could never do. But I don’t know how to let you go, to let me go…How, how would I do that, my love? It’s a same dream that I have…that we’re not same people. That you’re different, that I’m different. And we’re together, in every way. Now I know we could never be together in that way. But you still don’t understand me. You think I do this just to hurt you, but you don’t know I’m hurting myself. I’m hurting right now, don’t understanding what should I do next. There’s nobody here, you’re the closest one to my heart. But I know I have to let you go. It’s time to burn…burn all your expectations. I’m not the one you should love, we’re too different. Find someone closer to you, not me, never me…I was mistake, you are mistake. But you don’t know that I’m stronger, but I’m confused too. You only think this is right feeling, but you and I know it’s not.

Take me to that place, where I forget everything…make me cry again, and love me forever. It’s real as far each person sees it. It’s nothing physically that I know. There’s nothing in your eyes that I can see. I can’t see it, it’s out of reach. You’re out of reach, away. Far from me, from my dreams, from my love. I can only hear your voice, telling me that you love me. But can this ever be real? I have too much demons in my life to deal already, and I took one more with me. I wanted to go, but I wanted to stay too. But you’re not here, to tell me that everything will be fine. Just you, forever mine.

Morning comes, and time’s changed. I’m not the same person from yesterday. I made my decision. I just hope you will accept it…tell me why…why you can’t let me go? I came near you, embrace you…think for a moment. Maybe this what I do is mistake? I wanted to tell you this million times already, but my fear always stopped me. Maybe I know you wont accept changes that I need. I see love in your eyes, but in my you only can see emptiness. Where did I stop loving you? I don’t really know…You don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I knew you wouldn’t. I knew it would end sooner or later. You still love me, I know, but I don’t feel the same anymore. This hole in my heart changed me. I’m not anymore yours.

Another day, darker than last one. Everything seems deferent. Everything’s changed. Your face again, but now there’s sorrow in your eyes…maybe I don’t want to end this way. This is not right reason for giving up. As I would like to give up, to end this suffer, I just can’t. I just can’t stand pain in your eyes.

I come closer to you, again, I put my hands on your cheeks…look deeper in your soul…I’ve decided… ‘One more chance, this is all I’ll give you’. You stood there, knowing, accepting it…Will I survive this time?

 

THE END

 

by Fallen One

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