THE RUGBY LEAGUE PLAYERS’ SEXUAL MISCONDUCT SONG

 

Just as Monty Python were able to shed light on the drinking habits of the giants of the philosophical world, I now demonstrate that the scandals in rugby league during 2004 relating to rape and other forms of sexual misconduct are all a part of the traditions of the game.

 

(sung to the tune of Monty Python’s Philosophers’ Drinking Song)

 

Oh, Garry Jack liked a girl with a rack

that was larger than a Steeden.

Adam Muir knew his thoughts weren’t pure

when he packed beside Bill Peden.

Brad Mackay had a tear in his eye

as the boys were rabble-rousin’

and Mark McGaw would be up past four

getting off with Ettingshausen.

 

The Canterbury Bulldogs had multiple arrests.

They’ll go after anything that looks like it has breasts.

 

‘Freddy’ Fittler’s cock was litt’ler

but in front of ‘Gus’, it would salute like Hitler.

‘Fatty’, it’s known, would grunt and groan,

spending several hours on his own.

Allan Langer, Allan Langer, was a randy little banger.

He learned from Mal Meninga

and big Gavin Miller used his whole hand to fill her

but ‘Hoppa’ just used his finger.

 

And Canterbury Bulldogs are still chasing the tits.

They play some ripper footy but they’re always in the shits.

 

 

-         Daniel Viles (10 April 2004)

 

back to Daniel’s Writings home page

 

back to Funky Pharmacy home page