The Kevin Andrews Resume Song

 

Written and performed as part of the How Hard Can It Be? segment on ABC Local Radio Brisbane during 2007 when Kevin Andrews was revealed to have embellished his resume on the parliamentary website after criticising a doctor working in Australia but trained in India for embellishing his resume.

 

Link to ABC website: www.abc.net.au/brisbane/stories/s2026196.htm

 

Every now and then, the world finds new great men

like Churchill, Nelson Mandela or JFK.

A man like Mahatma Gandhi will occasionally come in hahndy,

but they've nothing on Kevin Andrews, according to his resume.

 

'Cause Kevin built the pyramids, he's walked upon the moon,

he's made a cure for horse flu and he might release it soon.

It was Kevin who decided that Pluto was not a planet

and he invented euthanasia, just so he could ban it.

 

Yes, Kevin speaks ten languages from Japanese to Greek.

He also built Mount Everest and he climbs it twice a week.

He's genius-like at working on the media

and please trust every word I say; it's all on Wikipedia.

 

When you read Kevin's bio, you'll always get the facts.

He has faith in the Bible 'cause he wrote the Book of Acts.

There was a time he got fed up with bosses and their blabbing

so Kevin invented unions... and then invented scabbing.

 

Yes, Kevin knows our values; he knows what we hold dear,

'cause he invented mateship when he beat the black folk here,

but if by mateship we're not so inspired,

then this election, we may say, "Kevin Andrews, you're fired!"

 

He'll fight to hold the tears back,

then give Mr Spock his ears back

but this election, we may say, “Kevin Andrews, you’re fired!”

 

 

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