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| Fan Fiction Archive |
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| A Sense of Community Transcribed by Nobodysgirl |
| [A black car lands from speeding over a hilly part of street. We hear a police siren. Golda lands shortly after. Darien is driving as Hobbes and the guy in the first car are having a shoot out.] Fawkes: There we go! There we go. There we go. Hobbes: It�s a chase, Fawkes! Fawkes: Like I�m tellin� ya, I was a thief�not a wheel man! Hobbes: Obviously! [They fire at each other. Hobbes fires a round.] Fawkes: (hears gun) What the hell was that? Hobbes: The chief�s making us use recycled ammo. Fawkes: {The chief�s�yeah?} We�d just run out of recycled ammo. [Hobbes loads his gun again and fires. It sticks after one shot.] Hobbes: Dammit! [The van squeals around in a spin, turns a corner, knocking over a fire hydrant. Water shoots up. The chase continues.] Hobbes: Floor it floor it floor it! Fawkes: If I floor it anymore my feet are going to be on the pavement here, all right? Hobbes: I just need to get close enough to get all damn bullets out. Hey! (He shoots and holds up the red police light.) We�re federal agents! We�re federal agents! Don�t you see that? Fawkes! [The car gets shot. It stops.] Fawkes: Aw! Hobbes: (gets out and fires) Hey! [The car leaves. Hobbes throws the gun down.] Hobbes: I * told* Eberts the van needed two hundred thousand mile tune up. Fawkes: (yelling) This thing�s got two hundred thousand miles on it? [Hobbes runs up and kicks Golda in the grill. Steam emits from the hood. Intro music and clips.] Darien Voice Over: There once was a tale about a man who could turn invisible. Well, I thought it was only a story - until it happened to me. Ok, so here's how it works. There's this stuff called quicksilver that can bend light. Now, my brother and some scientists had made it into some synthetic gland. That's where I came in. You see, I was facing life in prison. They were looking for a human experiment. So, we made a deal. They put the gland in my head and I walk free. Well, the operation was a success but that's when everything started to go wrong� [ <Commercial Break> Fawkes and Hobbes are seated as they endure another lecture from the Official] Darien Voice Over: An ancient Greek playwright named Sophocles once said that there�s nothing more demoralizing than money. Hm. He was almost right. It was actually the lack of money that really sucks� Official: So�What possible explanation can you have for this total ineptitude? Hobbes: No excuse sir. Fawkes: What are you nuts? Hobbes: You got a problem with that? Fawkes: Yeah I betcha your Ebeneezer Scrooge act almost got us both killed. Hobbes: Fawkes. Now is not the time. Fawkes: Yes? Then why don�t you take a little peek into the Christmas yet to come. Huh? Hobbes and I are gonna end up like Tiny Tim! You know�d-e-a-d. Hobbes: He didn�t die. Fawkes: No, in the-in the�the future one when he was still a shmuck. Hobbes: That was the sad part though. Fawkes: Yeah? Hobbes: That one always made me cry when I watched that. Fawkes: Yeah? {Who was gonna be left then more than us.} Hobbes: Good point�the Keep? Fawkes: The Keep? Are you kiddin�? He could have laid her off by then. Official: Enough. You�re not wrong. Fawkes: Thank you. Official: But you shouldn�t take it so personally. Fawkes: Yeah, well I have a tendency to do that when it almost gets me killed. Hobbes: Fawkes. Fawkes: Hobbes. Official: Boys� Fawkes: Hobbes. Hobbes: Fawkes. Official: Boys! Hobbes: Carry on. Official: Our funding has been delayed (Someone knocks at the door) but even as we speak, I�ve got Eberts covering with a budget looking for an excess little bit of fat we can siphon up. [Official stands to meet him. Hobbes opens the door. It�s Eberts carrying a stack of files.] Hobbes: Hi Eberts. Official: What have you got? Eberts: (sets them on the table) Whoo! Perhaps the answer to our problem. Every year a significant amount of money has been paid to something called the Agency of Sequestered Seclusion? Hobbes: Sounds some kind of religious retreat? Official: Hm. Eberts: Actually I can�t find out what it is. It has a huge budget although no charter. Its operatives come from a varied array of agencies with no unifying factor. Fawkes: Sounds familiar? Eberts: They�re like us�except with money. Fawkes: Five bucks he�s got a way to tap into that five bucks. Official: You�re wrong. You are. [Fawkes and Hobbes walk into the Agency of Sequestered Seclusion. A secretary sits at the desk eating yogurt.] Fawkes: Would you like anything? Hobbes: And I said� Fawkes: And the reasonable response was �No, I would not like anything.� Hobbes: Yeah, but I always like � Fawkes: I�m not gonna get you a package. I�m not gonna get you anything. (To secretary, sipping his drink) Hey. Hobbes: I�m Bobby Hobbes� Secretary: May I help you? Hobbes: I would like to talk to somebody here, please? Secretary: Anyone in particular? Fawkes: (sipping) Yeah, whoever�s in charge. Hobbes: Yeah. Secretary: He�s not in. Fawkes: Hm. Hobbes: Is the assistant in, please? Secretary: He�s not in either. Fawkes: All right. I guess we�ll just talk to whoever�s here. Hobbes: It�s a big building. Or you wouldn�t be sittin� here, right? Secretary: No one is except * me*. Hobbes: Ooh. Fawkes: Oh, that�s interesting. Hobbes: Very interesting. Fawkes: So uh what exactly goes on here anyway? Hobbes: What do you do around here? Secretary: I can�t talk about that. It�s classified. Fawkes: Oh. Hobbes: Oh! Fawkes: It�s classified. Secretary: Is there anything I can do for you? Hobbes: Oh yeah. Actually I was wonderin� if there was a uh men�s room� Secretary: It�s down that hall. Hobbes: Fawkes? Fawkes: Oh! Hobbes: Go ahead. Fawkes: Oh yeah ok�take care of that. Hobbes: He�s got prostate problems. [Darien walks down the hall and quicksilvers. We see quicksilver vision of Bobby and the secretary then down the hall.] Hobbes: He needed help �cause we don�t get along. I had that once and my face blew up like tomato. Secretary: It�s probably�just an allergy. [Darien looks in a room �J Hoffa� and finds it empty. He opens a door �Authorized Personnel Beyond This Point� and it�s empty.] Hobbes: Yeah? [Quicksilver vision of room �Supplies�. The shelves are empty.] Hobbes: You like to dance? Secretary: I do a little boot scootin� Hobbes: Boot scootin� boots�Is that like a country thang? Secretary: (smiles and winks) Yeaah. Hobbes: (hands her a card) There ya go why don�t ya give me a call sometime? Secretary: Really? Fawkes: (clears his throat) Ah ah ah ah ah! I think we should get goin� now? Come on�we got work to do. [Hobbes struts up to Darien showing off his superior Casanova attitude.] Fawkes: What is it with you and the ladies? Hobbes: It�s amazing, isn�t it? Fawkes: Oh�yeah� amazing. [Eberts is at the computer keyboard in the Official�s office. The Official and Hobbes and Darien are in the room.] Official: So what so you make of it? Fawkes: It�s a front. Official: For what? Fawkes: How should we know? He has the damn answer man. Eberts: I�m-I�m sorry sir. I can�t get a fix on where the money�s going�uh all these names on the payroll just don�t seem to * lead* anywhere. Hobbes: (leans over Eberts� shoulder) What have you got here? Wait whoa whoa! Wait a minute wait a minute I know that guy� He died a few years back I think (sees a picture of a woman on the comp monitor) Hey go back go back go back I know her too. I know that woman I thnk. I remember reading her obituary in the newsletter. (A picture of Jack Carelli scrolls up) D�oh whoa! Oh! Go back! Go back! That�s Jack Carelli! Jack Carelli! I know he-he-he was my partner! Jack Carelli he was my partner. He was chairman he was killed like ten years ago. I can�t-That�s Jack! I can not believe that. All these guys are dead. The whole payroll�s nothin� but dead agents. Eberts: Perhaps not. At least one of them * is* still alive a�Paul Grant. Official: How do you know? Eberts: He cashed his check two days ago. Want an address? [Fawkes and Hobbes exit Golda and approach a house.] Hobbes: It�s a disgrace, my friend. To the American flag and this country in general. Someone used the death of patriots to scam the government. People who have made the ultimate sacrifice and have laid down their * lives* for their country. Fawkes: You gotta stop. You�re gonna bring me to tears. Hobbes: Yeah well� this Paul Grant is going to haveta deal with the wrath of Bobby Hobbes. Fawkes: Oh�(rings doorbell. A man answers.) Oh! Hey uh�you Paul Grant? Paul: Yes�Are you here for the pickup? Fawkes: Pickup? Hobbes: If you cooperate with us there won�t be any need for that, my friend. Paul: How no I mean are you from the community? Fawkes: No no oh no no we don�t actually live around here uh�We�re federal agents. We just got a few questions�we need to go over with you. Paul: What kind of questions? Hobbes: Why don�t we just step inside we�ll talk about it all right. [Fawkes and Hobbes enter the house.] Paul: Hey excuse me- Hobbes: You and me are going to have a little discussion there, pal! Paul: About what? Hobbes: Where�s the money? Paul: What? What money? Hobbes: The money you�ve been stealing from fallen comrades. Where is it? Paul: I don�t know what you�re talkin� about. Hobbes: Oh yeah? You don�t know what I�m talkin� about? Paul: (calmly) No! No I don�t. Hobbes: And what�s this Agency of Sequestered Seclusion? What�s that? Paul: I-I-I�ve never heard of anything like that. Hobbes: Oh you�ve never- (To Fawkes) he�s never heard of anything like that, Fawkes. [Darien stands reading a book.] Paul: No I�m-I don�t know what you�re talking about. Hobbes: Yeah? Then how come they�ve been sending you checks? Ha? Paul: Huh? What! Nobody�s been- Hobbes: Look me in the eye (points to his eye)�right here. Paul: No! No� Hobbes: He�s lyin�! Yeah� [The doorbell rings.] Fawkes: What? Paul: You know what? There�s someone at my door. Would you excuse me, please? Fawkes: Look look look � [Darien pulls Bobby to the side. They watch Paul answer the door from the next room. We see three Men in Beige standing at the door.] Man in Beige #1: (smiles) Paul Grant? Paul: Yes. Man in Beige #1: Are you ready to go? Paul: Yes but um� Man in Beige #1: And your luggage is ready? Paul: There�s something you should know� Man in Beige #1: Have you made the necessary arrangements? Paul: The timing might not be right for this? Man in Beige #1: There�s no time for second thoughts. We�re going now. Boys� [The other two men grab Paul and escort him out out. Darien runs after them. Bobby follows.] Fawkes: Whoa whoa whoa! Hobbes: Hey! What the hell do you think you are doin� here? Fawkes: Hold on all right? Hey hold on hold on�hey hold on alright�(flashes badge) Federal agents, ok? Hobbes: (To Paul) What�s with this Agency of Sequestered Seclusion? Man in Beige #1: Oh, so you know about that? Hobbes: Damn straight we do. Man in Beige #1: Well that�s too bad. [He pulls a gun and shoots Paul in the stomach. Paul falls.] Fawkes: Hey! [Darien gets shot next then Bobby. They fall to the ground. A neighbor screams and runs inside. Fade out and fade back. We see Darien awake. Bobby awakes.] Hobbes: Are we dead? (He looks like he has a headache.) Oh! Fawkes: If we are�then it�s a major let down. Paul: You�re in my living room and I want you out. Fawkes: What the hell�d just happen? Paul: You two clowns almost screwed up a perfectly good murder. Hobbes: Hey man we got shot at too, pal. Paul: Tranquilizer darts. Hobbes: That explains the hangover. Fawkes: (checks shirt)�also the lack of bullet holes. Paul: Get out of my place. [Paul opens the door. They stand to exit.] Hobbes: Hey this isn�t over, my friend. Fawkes: Look. We�re federal agents, all right? You can�t just go around shootin� people. Hobbes: That�s right. Fawkes: (shows badge) Hey remember this? Hobbes: You�re in a word of trouble, my friend. You insulted a federal agent. [Paul Grant shuts the door. They are outside but in a different place, like an apartment complex. We see Fawkes and Hobbes through the door peephole. Their faces mirror looking right then left.] Fawkes: Toto�I don�t think we�re in Kansas anymore. [<CommercialBreak> Fawkes and Hobbes are outside Paul Grant�s door.] Hobbes: This is too freakin� weird, Fawkes. We got to call the call the�(He can�t find his phone). Phone�s gone. So�s my gun? Fawkes: No van. Hobbes: No street. Fawkes: All right. Come on. Let�s go find out who�s in charge. [They walk.] Hobbes: Notice anything strange, my friend? Fawkes: Aside from the fact that we went in the house in one place and that we came out somewhere else? Is that what you mean? Hobbes: No dirt. Fawkes: No dirt? Hobbes: No dirt. This place is very * clean*. [They pass an apartment name-plate �J. Madsen�] Fawkes: And that spells danger to you? Hobbes: With a capital �D�, my friend. Fawkes: Really? Hobbes: That�s right. Cleanliniess is a sure sign of heekiness, my friend. Fawkes: Is that even a word? Hobbes: Yes it is. Heekiness. Fawkes: Really? Hobbes: A lot of heekiness. Fawkes: A lot of� [They spot a video security camera. Bobby looks into the lens.] Hobbes: (To camera) How are ya? [We see Bobby and Darien on the monitor.] Hobbes: This is Bobby Hobbes, ok, from the United States government and I demand that you make yourselves known at this�at this exact moment�alright? Right here! [Jack Carelli watches from the sidewalk.] Fawkes: What�Who the hell are you yelling- Hobbes: I�m yelling at them! Jack: Same old Hobbes. Hobbes: Did you say that? Fawkes: No. He did. [Darien waves. Jack waves back.] Fawkes: Hey! Hobbes: Jack Carelli�You look�* exactly* like this guy I used to know. Jack: Jack Carelli? Hobbes: (To Fawkes) Are you seeing him? Fawkes: Jack Carelli? Hobbes: Yes! Fawkes: Oh yes! Jack: As one of our great American writers once said�Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Fawkes: Mark Twain. (Shakes head) That�s an easy one. Hobbes: Fawkes! This is Jack Carelli. You�It can�t be you. It�s not Jack Carelli. Jack: Well I�d show you my birthmark but I�m sure you two look shaken up as it is. Hobbes: (excited) Jack, this is my partner Darien Fawkes. Fawkes, this is- Fawkes: Jack Carelli? Yeah why don�t you tell us where the hell we are, Jack Carelli? Jack: It�s nice to meet you too, Darien. In the community. Hobbes: How are ya? Nice to se ya. (Hugs Jack) Oh Jack�(Pats him on the back) you have such a catchy name� Jack: The community is a town made up of uh intelligence operatives who have had their cover blown. Fawkes: So what it�s like a�like a witness protection program for spies. Is that what you mean? Jack: Exactly. The government orchestrates their murders or� mysterious disappearances - then brings us out here to live out our retirement. Fawkes: Live out your ret- well�boom! That explains why the old Agency of Sequestered Seclusion needs all that cash. Hobbes: That explains it! Right? Fawkes: That�s a lot of meals. Hobbes: I mean they fund the whole thing and then you know and then before you know two or three bookkeepers at the Pentagon don�t know anything about it. Jack: This place is * beyond* classified. If the outside world knew the world knew of our existence, everyone here would be a target. Hobbes: That explains I mean when we actually crashed Grant�s going away party then- Jack: We couldn�t leave you outside we had to bring you * in*� Fawkes: And it�s been swell�Jack, really, but uh but could you just show us the way out of spyland here? I think uh we�re gonna�skip the roller coaster�so� Jack: Listen, why don�t I buy guys a cup of coffee? Fawkes: Because I don�t want any coffee Hobbes: He wants to buy us a cup of coffee No. I don�t want any I don�t want I don�t and then he�s gonna show us out of here! * want any� [They are in the pool area / caf� part of the community.] Hobbes: So Jack I heard you got pegged by a Russian sniper in �91? Is that right? Jack: Yeah. Didn�t kill me though it might as well have. Blew my cover wide open. The government�d gave me just enough time to pack and boom! Then I was here. Hobbes: That�s a shame you know I always felt bad. I didn�t get to your funeral. Jack: I knew you were on assignment. Hobbes: I wanted to go I wanted to be there�I had a funeral once. Jack: Oh yeah? Hobbes: Oh sure. Jack: Yeah. Hobbes: Fawkes was there. He�ll tell ya. Fawkes: (interrupting) Hey this is really really hey it�s really nice� [They sit at one of the tables with their coffee.] Fawkes: (To Jack) Can we sort of wrap up the trip down memory lane here? So you can show us the exit to this place? Jack: Oh no no. There�s no exit. Once you move into the uh community you�re here for life. Fawkes: (To Bobby) He thought we moved here. (To Jack) No! No we didn�t move�here at all. Somebody uh they sort of nabbed us and brought us here- Hobbes: � against our will. Fawkes: Uh yeah�* completely* against our will. Hobbes: There�s gotta be� someone. Fawkes: Like a like a�someone-someone in charge? Hobbes: Yeah to talk to? Fawkes: A head honcho? Jack: Ah�No one is going to listen, my friend. Fawkes: That�s not very community like, is it? Hobbes: There�s gotta be somebody who runs the day to day stuff in the community. Fawkes: There we go! Jack: Well they�re pretty much self policing. Hobbes: What about? (Darien points up) You got cameras everywhere I mean lookin� at us cameras everywhere�Who�s running the cameras? Jack: Nobody knows. But we know that the security is for our own good. Fawkes: Yeah but there�s gotta be a way out. I mean�(points) Where do you get your milk from? Hobbes: Yeah. Where do you? You guys gotta* eat*. Jack: Look guys�the security is impenetrable. Now�all of this is designed to keep people out but it does just a good job at keeping * us* in�to try and cross that perimeter�is suicide. [We see Fawkes and Hobbes looking around the community.] Hobbes: Hey don�t worry, my friend. There�s a way out of every box. Fawkes: Oh yeah. That�s what Houdini said till he almost croaked in one. Hobbes: This is not a match pal, all right? Nobody ever kept Bobby Hobbes any place he didn�t want to be, all right? [They pass a security camera. A man in a suit and bowler passes them.] Gentleman: Good day gentlemen. Fawkes: Hey hey wait wait wait. Isn�t that that guy that was on that show? Hobbes: Actually that�s the guy that�the guy that�s show is * based* on. Fawkes: The guy that show is based on, the real guy? Hobbes: That�s the other guy. That�s the * real* guy. Yeah, he sold his rights to his life story. A lot of {old timer�s} done that. Yeah. So if we play our cards right�that could be us. Fawkes: Yeah, that�s * if* we get out of here (He shows his tattoo. There are six green segments and four red segments.) Remember, Bobby, we got a little deadline�here? Hobbes: You are right, sir. Fawkes: MmHmm? Hobbes: Let�s rendezvous back here in * one* hour. Fawkes: Gotcha. Hobbes: Fawkes�we got- we gotta synchronize watches. Fawkes? [The Agency hall. The Official and Eberts enter The Keep. Men are moving things out of The Keep.] Official: Hobbes and Fawkes haven�t reported in! When�s Darien due for his next shot of counteragent? Keeper: Well�* normally* I would have a good estimate but because my records are in * this* piece of equipment here (man wheels equipment away) I don�t have any idea what on earth is going on here? (To mover) What are you doing? No! Eberts: Doctor, our financial situation is critical. Official: Everything rented is being repossessed. Keeper: Rented! My equipment is rented! Official: Claire! Claire, I need a time frame on Darien�s meltdown. Keeper: And I am telling you I don�t have any idea! (tug of war over snake) Please�oh! (To Official) Look, I can tell you one thing though. If they�re in any kind of * trouble* and he needs to * quicksilver*..he doesn�t have very long�Not my snake! (loses the tug of war) Mm�aaaah! [Hobbes is in the shrubbery looking around. He moves to the sidewalk and is going to crawl over the sidewalk rail.] Woman: Uh unless you have a death wish you better back off. [Bobby looks to see who is talking to him. A swimsuit-clad woman with sunglasses on sunbathes. She reads a book and sips on her drink.] Hobbes: Excuse me. (She looks up) You�re Helene Loew, aren�t ya? You are! Oh my God it�s you how are ya doin? Helene: Have we met. Hobbes: Well yeah I mean no�I know * you* I mean you don�t * know* that I know you but I�ve followed your career. You wrote the book on temptation and seduction in operational procedures. Helene: Yes! Wow we don�t have to play that game any more�not since I moved here. Hobbes: I�m Bobby Hobbes. How are ya doin�? Helene: Yeah. Uh. Nice to meet you Robby�Be careful around that perimeter, ok? Hobbes: Thanks. It�s Bobby, actually. Helene: Ok. Yeah. Uh�nice to meet you * Bobby*. Hobbes: Nice meeting you Helene�(quietly enjoys the view) Uh Helene�I was just wondering if there was a phone around here maybe I uh I could make a phone call, check in on my chief. Helena: Weren�t you briefed? Hobbes: Well uh�on what? Helene: Your uh your move�to the community? Hobbes: To-to this community right here? Well no I was not briefed notified appraised of nothing, nada nothing, ok? Care to fill me in? Helene: Not really. Hobbes: Well uh who can I talk to who * can*? Helene: (realizes he�s for real) Hmm. All right. (She walks up to him at the fence.) Stop staring at my breasts and�I�ll tell you what I can. Hobbes: I�m sorry. (Humbled) I apologize. Helene: Ok, the two real important things you have to know? Hobbes: Yeah. Helene: One. No contact with the outside world. Hobbes: Right. Helene: That means no phones. Uh�two? There�s no way out. So once you�re here you�re� here to stay. Hobbes: Both unacceptable. Helene: Start accepting. Hobbes: Yeah. Well, what if I just hopped this fence right here you know just walk right down that tree lined path, what about that? Helene: Hm. (Throws an orange. It hits something and gets burned up.) Motion sensors combined with high intensity particle beams. Hobbes: Ouch. Helene: So, consider yourself briefed. [She walks inside her apartment.] Hobbes: Yeah yeah right�Oh crap. [Fawkes runs then walks. He goes to open a door he�s found, hears gunfire and then runs for cover.] Fawkes: Hey! Take it easy! All right? I�m unarmed here! [We see a guy on the balcony with a rifle.] Rifleman: It was only a warning shot. Fawkes: Yeah. Well you coulda killed me. Rifleman: Hardly. You were never in danger. Fifty-eight assignments. Fifty-eight kills. Never a stray bullet. Fawkes: Very impressive. Rifleman: Oh, you�re one of the new residents. I�m Kro. Fawkes: Crow? Kro: * K* � r- o. Fawkes: Kro. Kro: It�s a long complicated tale of intrigue and extreme personal jeopardy. Fawkes: Well, I won�t ask then. Kro: Thanks. I appreciate that. Fawkes: Hey listen um�Fire exit? Where is it�around here? Kro: There are no * exits*. Didn�t they explain things to you? [A remote control helicopter flies by. Kro wipes his hair back.] Kro: Aah! Fawkes: What the hell was that? Kro: It�s a minder. We figure they use them to keep an eye on things. Fawkes: Where�s it go? Kro: I assume to its home base, which I think is through there. Fawkes: Did you ever try to go in there? Kro: (laughs) I don�t particularly want to get fried. The whole is defended with particle beams and electricity. Fawkes: Hey listen um�I�m thinkin� maybe you can help me see I was actually brought here against my will. It�s kind of a- Kro: I know. We all feel that way at first. None of us wants to leave the game. But you�re gonna * die* here. The goal� is to die of old age. Fawkes: Hey listen, can I borrow your flashlight there? Kro: (Throws it to Darien) Welcome home. [A minder passes by. Bobby looks for Darien. They meet again.] Hobbes: Fawkes? These things are everywhere! They�re all over the place, man! They�re just flyin� everywhere. Fawkes: (sings under breath) I found something�just two friends�walking over here� Hobbes: What? Fawkes: Can you believe it or not I just found somebody to connect me to the security cameras. Hobbes: Really? Well I wonder how. Fawkes: Yeah well unfortunately goin� invisible has got me up to six now. Yeah I mean you ever wonder how the community here is gonna feel about me going quicksilver mad here. Did-have you ever thought about that? Hobbes: Yeah well. Fawkes: Did you ever think about that? What happens then? Hobbes: You won�t. We�re gettin� out of here one way or the other my friend. Fawkes: (Flashes light into the trees) Look. Hobbes: Look at what? Fawkes: Look! Hobbes: It�s a bush. Fawkes: Come here. Just�come here. Hobbes: Why what do you got? Fawkes: Come here. Get in there look a little closer. See that right there? Hobbes: I�ll be damned. The ones on the back are paper on the wall. [Darien shines the light on the wall.] Fawkes: That�s right. Hobbes: We need to get over that wall Fawkes right. Just hop hop hop the wall. Fawkes: It�s not just a wall. Look up. Hobbes: Oh my�The * sky* is painted. Fawkes: That�s riight. Hobbes: Nice move, Fawkes. Fawkes: What are you doing? (Bobby throws an orange. The particle beams are revealed upon impact. Darien feels like impersonating Elvis) Thank you very much. (Normal voice) So ah evidently we are inside some kind of dome. Who knows what could be outside. We could be in a whole another world. Hobbes: Unbelievable. This is impossible Fawkes. Fawkes: Yeah, well�did you ever see the Truman Show? Hobbes: Jim Carrey? Fawkes: Yeah. Hobbes: Ed Harris? Fawkes: Right. Hobbes: Never saw it. Fawkes: Well�believe me they got nothin� on these guys. Hey, I do have some good news, though. Hobbes: What�s the good news? I could use a little good news right now. Fawkes: See that? Hobbes: What is that? Fawkes: What do you call that? Hobbes: I think that�s a * hatch*. Fawkes: Yeah and it�s protected apparently by electricity and particle beams. Hobbes: I have had my own little experience with particle beams. Fawkes: Yeah? Hobbes: Yes. Not very- Fawkes: Shh! Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. [Jack Carelli, Kro, Helene Loew and others are watching Fawkes and Hobbes from the sidewalk. Bobby and Darien make noises �over there� to each other. The minder flies around. Fawkes and Hobbes are now on the sidewalk.] Hobbes: We just gotta talk to the head honcho here and explain what had happened. Fawkes: Hobbes. Hobbes: Just the bureaucratic stuff, that�s all. I mean one call to the fat man�and we�re home. Fawkes: Hobbes, I mean everyone�s singin� here the same damn song. No one talks to the people in charge and� Hobbes: What is it? [Their nameplates �D. Fawkes� and R. Hobbes are posted respectively on their apartments. Fawkes and Hobbes enters Bobby�s apartment.] Hobbes: What does this mean? Fawkes: Well, I�d think it�s clearly a message from our head honcho. Hobbes: Make yourself at home. [<Commercial Break> Someone knocks using the door knocker. Undershirt Bobby opens the door. We hear romantic spy music begin. Pan up on Helene from her black dress shoes to her face. She wears a black lace dress and has a bottle of champagne and two glasses with her.] Helene: Hi! Bobby: Hi. How are ya doin�? Helene: Fine. How are you? Bobby: (guarded) Well you know. Well enough. Helene: Look I was thinking and�I realized I wasn�t being very�neighborly before so I um I thought I�d drop by, make you feel a little welcome? I do remember what it�s like your first day here. So, um� you�re going to invite me in? Bobby: (interested but still guarded) Yeah sure. Please, come in. [Helene enters. She pops and pours the champagne. Bobby watches her keeping his guard up.] Helene: To all life�s�pleasures. [She hands a glass of champagne to Bobby.] Bobby: (stares intensely at her) Salut. Helene: Salut. (They clink glasses. She realizes he�s uptight.) Hm. (drinks) So, Robby� Bobby: Bobby. Helene: Oh! Sorry, Bobby�Wow you have a�really great place here Bobby. Bobby: Actually it�s remarkably similar to my real apartment it was- Helene: Wow. You gotta take my advice on this. You got to think of this * as* your real apartment now. You know just give the community a chance. (She walks closer to him) Meet some people�give them a chance to meet you? Bobby: Well listen I�ll tell ya I�m sure everybody�s real nice very beautiful community very nice people but uh I got a real life out there in the real world. There�s no reason for me to be here. [She leans on his shoulder while standing behind him.] Helene: Do you um�have a special girl out there? Bobby: Well�no�not exactly. Helene: Well I have it on * great* authority that�you have a very good chance of having one in here. Bobby: You playing me right now you know that. Helene: No. I�m not playing you. Bobby: Oh yeah you playin� me. Helene: No I�m not. Bobby: This is bonafide playing right here. (He points to his shoulder) That�s what this is. Helene: (She steps away) Okay. Bobby: Playing. Helene: Ok. You know what? Bobby: Playing me. Helene: If this was on the outside? Bobby: Yeah. Helene: Yes. There would be a * very* good chance of that but�why would I play you in here? Bobby: (broody tone) Ah you know there�s�a lot of James Bond types out there. Why me? Helene: (laughs) Bobby, James Bond�s a hundred years old. Like most of the men in this place the rest of them are just�angry macho jerks. But you�you have this�I don�t know a-a sense of reality to you. Bobby: (melting) Well�(He sits on the sofa.) I do, don�t I? Helene: Well, I�ve spent years training to read men whether they�re�good or bad and� I�m reading you as�good. Bobby: Really? You think I�m good? Helene: (She moves in closer to him) Very good. (She love-bites his earlobe.) Bobby: All right. I�m�Oh God�Ok Helene: (She kisses a path toward his mouth.) MmHmm? Bobby: Yeah. Ok stop�you really shouldn�t be doin� that�right now. [They make out. Bobby pulls away. We hear a record scratch.] Bobby: I can�t do this! I can�t! I can�t! I can�t! Helene: Why not? Bobby: {Because I can�t because you know I can�t not that I don�t want to I want to but I can�t do this I can�t do this.} Because you could be playin� me. Helena: Why would I play you? Bobby: (thinks) Maybe�to try and stop gettin� me to get outta here. How about that? Helena: Oh! Would that be such a bad thing? I mean if I don�t want you to leave doesn�t that mean I * like* you, huh? Bobby: You got a point. [He kisses her. They both fall on the couch still kissing.] Bobby: Oh hey�I gotta stop I gotta stop. [He tries to break the kiss however she�s glued to his face like a magnet.] Bobby: No don�t don�t don�t don�t. [He breaks the kiss. We hear a record scratch.] Bobby: I can�t do this. I can�t! Helene: Why?! Bobby: Because I can�t. Helene: Why? Bobby: Because I can�t I got a responsibility to get me and my partner outta there ok. He�s got a-he�s got a�situation. He�s run outta time and I can�t be distracted by the likes a * you*. Helene: (losing patience) Bobby�I could make your stay here a * very* pleasant one. Bobby: Unfortunately my stay here ain�t going to last much longer. Helene: (almost yelling) The only reason you�re stay isn�t gonna last much longer is if you don�t * live* much longer. Bobby: (drinks) What got into you? Helene: (stands up) If you change your mind�I live just down the sidewalk. [Helene exits. Bobby, now shirtless, washes his face.] Hobbes: (in mirror) Aw yeah� You refused to go where * so* many weaker men have gone before you * boldly* took her down, my friend. (He puts on his shirt.) You know what I�m sayin�? You are the man, my friend. [We see the heater flame. Bobby smells gas.] Hobbes: (whispers) Oh my God! [Hobbes jumps out of his apartment shortly before the explosion. The Official and Eberts are in the Official�s office.] Eberts: Goodbye. Official: No word from Fawkes or Hobbes? Eberts: None sir. Official: I can�t wait any longer. Put in the retrieval team. Send Sullivan. Eberts: Laid off, sir. Official: Then get Pollock. Eberts: Also pink slipped. Official: What about Ellis? Eberts: Refuses to work under these conditions. Official: Fine! Fire � im. Eberts: Then who�s going to find Fawkes and Hobbes? [Official looks at Eberts. Eberts enters an apartment. It�s cleaned out. Eberts dials on the phone.] Eberts: Sir. I�m at Darien�s apartment? We have a situation here. [Fawkes walks in to his apartment. Bobby swings a bat at him, Darien Ducks and Booby just misses him with the baseball bat.] Fawkes: Hobbes? You ok? Hobbes: I got lucky. Fawkes: What happened to your house? Hobbes: (closes curtains) Well�I�m guessing it was the Mata Hari. The Black Widow. Miss Helene Loew. Fawkes: Why? Hobbes: She paid me a little visit. Well�one thing lead to another. Fawkes: You laid Loew? Hobbes: No. Actually�uh could you rephrase that please? Fawkes: You and Helene Loew (makes bull horns with hand) you make a little you know a little spy nookie? Hobbes: Well�as a matter of fact I didn�t, all right? Not that she didn�t * want* to I mean she was dyin� for Bobby Hobbes. Fawkes: And? Hobbes: She stormed out right�so I had to go to the bathroom splash a little water on my face I hear the sound smell a little gas leak�Boom! Fawkes: And you suspect Helene Loew. Hobbes: Hell hath no fur, my friend. Did you not see Fatal Attraction Two? Fawkes: I don�t think she�s the only suspect, my friend. No nobody in the whole neighborhood is helping us find a way outta here. Hobbes: So do you think the explosion was meant to kill me or to set us up a warning? Fawkes: I don�t know but�we better find a way out of here before we have a bigger problem (His tattoo shows six red and four green segments)�me. [It is outside in the daytime. Fawkes and Helene clink glasses.] Helene: If you ask me�I think he�s * gay*. Fawkes: (smiles) Really? Helene: MmHm. Fawkes: So uh (He sits) where�d you go after uh you left his place? Helene: (laughs) What do you think I had something to do with this? Fawkes: (suavely) I didn�t say that. I don�t know. Helene: We�re not out in the field anymore, Agent Fawkes. This is a community. It was probably like a�faulty water heater or something. I mean, you know how government contractors are�they�re always cutting corners. Fawkes: I�ll drink to that. [Fawkes and Helene clink glasses and drink. Meanwhile, Bobby finds Kro.] Hobbes: Hey Kro (laughs) so uh Fawkes tells me you�re�you�re a regular MacGyver you know you rigged up your own gun piece. Kro: You know the two of you certainly do ask a lot of questions. Hobbes: Well it�s just natural curiosity. Kro: Well I would be careful Agent Fawkes. Do you you know what they say about natural curiosity. Hobbes: Yeah it�s something about a * cat*�That�s funny you should mention that because my new * home* was just destroyed! Kro: Yes I�m sorry about that. But never mind� they�ll fix you up a new one! Hobbes: Yeah well you know that�s not the point, ok? Someone tried to kill me ok? Assassinate�me! Kro: Agent Hobbes�I suggest you figure out what you did to * deserve* such an action and don�t do it again. [Fawkes and Hobbes are in an apartment. Paul Grant brings a plant to the mantelpiece.] Paul: You two just can�t leave it alone, can you? Hm? Fawkes: Man, we just want out. Hobbes: Someone tried to assassinate me. Me! Bobby Hobbes! Paul: You�re runnin� around trying to break out of here and a lot of people are very uptight about that. So if it comes down to killing you or losing their happy and safe new lives�People are going to be lining around the block to * whack* you. And I�m gonna be in that line. [Fawkes and Hobbes exit the apartment. The tattoo shows two green segments and eight red ones.] Hobbes: Uh oh. Fawkes: That�s not good. [<Commercial Break> Two TV dinner boxes fall into a wastebasket one after the other. Pan up to Bobby and Darien eating TV dinners in Darien�s apartment.] Hobbes: This is good stuff. (Someone knocks.) Get the bat! Fawkes: (He readies the bat) Who is it? Who is it? Hobbes: It�s like they�re hiding. Fawkes: Just open it up. I got him. I got him. I got him [Hobbes opens the door. Darien stops short of hitting Jack Carelli with the bat.] Hobbes: Jack Carelli! Man! We almost got you! Jack: Yeah ok look guys I�m here to help you escape�but we gotta get outta here before they figure out what they�re up to. Fawkes: Really? Why should we trust you? Hobbes: Aw come on! It�s Carelli! Fawkes: No no no I don�t care if he�s you�re friend, all right? He�s one of them now. Why would you risk helping us? Jack: Hobbes and I go way back. I owe him. Hobbes: Aw come on Fawkes! (seriously) I trust him like I trust you bro. Fawkes: It�s your call. Hobbes: All right. (To Jack) You got a plan? Jack: Do I have a plan? Hobbes: You got a plan!�hey! Let�s go (To Jack) after you (To Darien) after you no after you. [They exit and are walking on the sidewalk in a no traffic area.] Hobbes: Whoa whoa whoa whoa Hey these trigger particle beams here. I didn�t know about those Jack: (pats Bobby on the back) Yeah yeah. Don�t worry about it I took care of it come on let�s go. Fawkes: Hey hey come here. Is there anything about this escape bother you? Hobbes: Well what do you mean? Fawkes: Well I mean like one minute you know security�s tighter than Britney Spears� * pants* and then the next minute no problem? Hm? Hobbes: Well it- Jack: What�s goin� on? What�s up? Fawkes: Uh hey uh look before you go any further I want to know how you�managed to pull all this stuff off here. Jack: We don�t have time for this right now. Fawkes: Yeah well guess what I�m making time, ok? [Jack stuns Fawkes with a stun gun. Darien convulses and falls to the ground. Hobbes runs to his side.] Jack: (bitterly) Yeah it�s not exactly a plan but I guess sometimes it�s all about improv, huh? Hobbes: Fawkes�Fawkes! Jack: He�s not dead�yet. Hobbes Hobbes Hobbes�The uh obvious rules was always a mystery to you wasn�t it? Hobbes: You have gone nuts, my friend. Jack: I am * not* your friend. Hobbes: How could you say that Carelli? Jack : �Cause * friends* don�t let * friends* get * killed*! Hobbes: That was a Russian sniper, Carelli. That was a whole another investigation. Jack: Yeah. And how do you think the Russian sniper found out about me, huh? Hobbes: I don�t know�{good�n tell?}? A mole maybe? Bad luck? Jack: Bad luck? The only bad luck I had was having you for a partner. Hobbes: (calmly) That�s a low blow, Carelli. Jack: Like when your partner gives vital mission details to his shrink. He was a double agent! Hobbes: Doctor Barry. I was setup, Carelli! He had clearance. How could I know? Jack: Because you were * trained* to know. And for the last ten years I�ve sat in here while you�ve been on the outside livin� the life I shoulda lived. Hobbes: I�d give my life for you, Carelli, you know that, but you wanna blame me for this? Go right ahead. Jack: Just shut up and die, Hobbes. Hobbes: Oh yeah? Between you and me? You are gonna die twice, Carelli. This time it�s gonna hurt. (They fight) You can�t take me, Carelli! You could never take me. Jack: Take it like a man, partner! [Jack hits Hobbes. Bobby knocks him out and grabs his stun gun.] Hobbes: Fawkes! Oh man�You ok partner? Fawkes: No I�m not man! �keep �shocking me! (Bobby pulls Darien up. They leave another way.) Who�s your partner now, huh? [They climb down off a roof.] Fawkes: Oh man! Hobbes: How we doin? Fawkes: Not good. Hobbes: Yeah, what�s the score? [The tattoo shows one green segment and nine red ones.] Fawkes: Well we�re down. It�s the bottom of the ninth here we�re�almost outta time here. Hobbes: That means we�re goin� home. [Fawkes and Hobbes hide from the surveillance cameras.] Hobbes: Fawkes? [The minder flies around and hovers.] Fawkes: Stun gun. [Darien quicksilvers.] Hobbes: Here we go. [Invisible Darien stuns the helicopter. He unquicksilvers.] Fawkes: Come here get over here come on come on come on come on! Hold on to that for a second (He tosses the gun to Hobbes) It seems the helicopters they help design the security system. Hobbes: Ah. What are you thinkin� Fawkes: I�m thinkin� we become the helicopter. Hm? Yeah? Hobbes: I like it. Fawkes: Hm. Hobbes: Me and you. Fawkes: (points to his brain) That what I�m sayin� Hobbes: Become one with. Fawkes: Hey watch this� (He turns his head to one side. His right eye quicksilvers. His left eye quicksilvers) Pretty hot, huh?�Here we go. [Darien holds the minder up and Hobbes follows him.] Hobbes: Here we go! [We see beams in the distance, quicksilver vision of the forest. They get to the wall.] Fawkes: Do you see this? What are you doin� Hobbes: You got a camera in your hand, my friend. Fawkes: The wall let me� Hobbes: (knocks) Wallpaper. [The hatch opens. They climb in. Darien hands the minder to Bobby.] Fawkes: Hold this. You got this? Hobbes: I got it. Fawkes: Ok�One�two�three! [They throw the minder out and shut the hatch door. <Commercial Break> Two men in suits carry the Official�s desk back to its original spot.] Official: Nice to have you back boys. Fawkes: Well sir (Hobbes slides a chair for Darien to sit in.) you have no idea how nice it is to * be* back. Eberts: And having you back provided for a � a nice financial bonus for us. Hobbes: I�m not sure I understand that one sir I mean�where�d the money come from? Official: Symbiosis. Those men in beige had something we needed�and we had something * they* needed. [The Keeper dunks her tea bag.] Fawkes: Ok�the Agency of Sequestered Seclusion they had- Hobbes: Which I like to call�A- S � S. Fawkes: Ok�so uh * ASS* has the cash�uh�but what do we have that they need? Official: Silence. Eberts: It was economically infeasible for all agency personnel that * knew* about the community to be placed * in* the community. Hobbes: So you sold them our silence, sir. You�re good. Eberts: Every month a small portion of their resources is placed into our account. Official: And the security of all those fine retired agents remains�our little secret. Keeper: So you kicked ass. Official: Absolutely! [We see the room is being monitored.] Man in Beige #1: Ok, we monitor these clowns twenty-four seven. They let * one* word leak�just * one* excuse�they�re * all* history. [The Official, Fawkes, Hobbes, Keeper and Eberts are circled around the desk for a toast.] Darien on monitor: To�what shall we drink to�up your� Keeper on monitor: Up your�! <Closing Credits> |