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| Fan Fiction Archive |
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| Mere Mortals Transcribed by Nobodysgirl |
| [We see chemistry bottles. Pan right to Claire making notes on paper.] Darien Voice over: Salvador Dali once said that- the only difference between him and a mad man is that � he wasn�t mad. Well, unfortunately for me sometimes even that distinction wasn�t quite so clear. [Fawkes and Hobbes come running into The Keep.] Darien: Claire! Claire! Keeper: What? Hobbes: Calm down. Darien: It�s kinda hard to do that and to freak out at the same time. (To Claire) We have got a major problem here. Keeper: Let me see your tattoo. Darien: Oh ok well you got a pair of thermal goggles handy there? [Darien removes poncho and throws it on the floor. His arms and legs are invisible.] Claire: What happened? Darien: I can�t get them back. Claire: On the chair! Now! [Darien runs to the examination chair. He sits.] Darien: Hey it�s that bacteria again, ain�t it. Keeper: Ok ok � just slow down. Just start from the beginning. Hobbes: He went see through like normal, right? Then when he waved that magic quicksilver wand over me- Darien: I�m telling you it�s the bacteria. Could you just get that tub of mayo? Hobbes: Now I unquickify perfectly you know like a champ, huh? When he came to it was minus � minus the dark meat. Keeper: Ok, why were you quicksilvering? You aren�t supposed to be going active until the end of the week. Hobbes: We were on a case. Keeper: What case? Darien: The kind where we�bust criminals. Hobbes: Criminal case. Keeper: What criminals? Hobbes: There are a lot of criminals out there. Darien: Hey, nine bucks for a movie is criminal if you ask me. Hobbes: That�s affirmative. Darien: Yeah. Keeper: Please, tell me you didn�t quicksilver just to sneak into a movie theater? Hobbes: And a water park. Darien: Yeah. Keeper: Did you know that every time Darien uses the gland it costs us over three thousand dollars in counteragent? Darien: Yeah well let me tell ya something. Having my arms and legs invisible twenty four seven is going to cost us all a hell of a lot more than that I mean I�m thinking maybe I�m a little � d�oh! [Darien convulses. Hobbes tries to calm him down.] Hobbes: Easy pal. [We see that Darien�s eyes are scarlet red from quicksilver madness. His face is tense, his breathing more pronounced.] Keeper: All right. (gets counteragent) All right Darien, give me your arm. Where is it? Darien: Right there. Keeper: All right. Got it. Darien: Oh- [Darien unquicksilvers. Bobby looks relieved to have his partner back.] Keeper: Thank you Bobby. You�ve been no help. I can�t believe you took him to a water park. Bobby: Oh they had this water ride there �Wet and Wild� and the Shamu � [Claire groans from disappointment.] Darien: Ok you want to tell me what the hell is going on here? Keeper: Well it�s something I�ve been expecting like this for a while now. It�ll be fine. Darien: As long as the Q-gland is runnin� my life nothing�s fine. Keeper: Well, then it looks like today is your lucky day. Darien: Well it�s been a real treat so far and- Hobbes: What�s so lucky about today alright? Keeper: Today � I turn the gland off. [We see Darien. We see Hobbes. Cut to Introduction. We hear Intro music begin under the voice over and Intro clips.] Darien Voice over: There once was a tale about a man who could turn invisible. Well, I thought it was only a story - until it happened to me. Ok, so here's how it works. There's this stuff called quicksilver that can bend light. Now, my brother and some scientists had made it into some synthetic gland. That's where I came in. You see I was facing life in prison. They were looking for a human experiment. So, we made a deal. They put the gland in my head and I walk free. Well, the operation was a success but that's when everything started to go wrong. [Intro music and Intro clips. Cut to Commercial break. Cut to The Keep. We see the Keeper loading a needle.] Keeper: It�s a competitive inhibitor. Basically, it�s an enzyme that�ll block adrenaline from reaching the gland. Darien: Well, (pops a bottle of champagne) we all know what that means boys and girls. [Darien pours a glass for Hobbes, then pours the Official a glass.] Hobbes: What? No more quicksilver? Keeper: (laughs) No more quicksilver madness. Official: Yeah right. Well, I don�t like it. [Darien pours Claire a glass and then himself one. He drinks.] Darien: Well I�m shocked really but uh you know what the best part is? You don�t have to like it. Official: I thought we agreed the adrenaline inhibitor was too dangerous. Keeper: Well uh we did but uh that was nine months ago. Things have changed. Darien: That�s funny. It sounded like you said nine months ago. Keeper: And � and with the gland�s recent behavior I�ve really got no choice but to run Kevin�s diagnostic. Darien: Nine months ago? Is it nine? Months ago? Keeper: Darien, calm down. Darien: No no I have not even begun to get upset. How long have you known how to shut down the gland? Keeper: I have always known how to shut down the gland. Darien: (laughing) Did you hear that? It just sounded like she said that she has always known how to shut down the gland. Keeper: The normal gland, alright? The protocol to disable the gland was designed before Arnaud made his modifications. I had to make sure that his changes wouldn�t turn the protocol lethal. Darien: That�s great. Can you shut down the gland or not? Keeper: Only long enough to run a diagnostic and try and track this problem down. Darien: How long? Keeper: A week. Darien: I�ll take it. [Darien moves to the examination chair. The Keeper gives him the injection in the base of his neck.] Keeper: There we go. Darien: (flinches) Oh! Is it out? Keeper: Mm Hmm. There it is. How do you feel? Darien: Ah�the same. Hobbes: Can you still do a good David Copperfield? Darien: Um. Well, hold on. (Holds hand in front of him and relaxes.) Hey�hey it worked! (He looks at back and front of his hand.) Keeper: Mm Hmm. Darien: I mean it didn�t work. Keeper: At least not under voluntary control. I�d also like to test the involuntary response. Darien: Oh sure how do you propose- [Hobbes holds a tarantula in his hand and presents it to Darien. Darien jumps out of the chair and points at Hobbes.] Darien: That was not fair! Keeper: Ok. Good! Hobbes: So much for the involuntary response. Keeper: It works. Now I�ll need at least twelve hours now to let the inhibitor fully saturate before I can start testing. Darien: Does that mean uh - I can go? Keeper: For today (Darien bolts) but I need you here bright and early here tomorrow morning so I can start the diagnostic. Darien: Bright and early! [Cut to Darien standing calm and ready. There is a guy standing on his left looking on with anticipation.] Darien Voice over: Now I won�t disappear every time my adrenaline gets pumping. For one week I�m a normal person again. Fear � is no longer a barrier for me. Guy: (holds both hands up showing the number three) Three! [Darien falls forward and spreads his arms out. He is bungee jumping off the bridge.] Darien: Wooohoooo! [We see a TV with static on screen. Pan left to a table with rented videos on it then pan to Darien sleeping on the sofa. The phone rings. After the third ring he answers it while still at rest.] Darien: Good morning. Keeper: No. Not morning. It�s not even close. It�s the middle of the afternoon.. Darien phone voice: Ok well Darien: Good afternoon. [He hangs up and continues to sleep.] Keeper: Oh! (dials number) Rude� Darien: (with more anger he picks up phone receiver then speaks calmly with a smile and with closed eyes) Hi. How are �ya? Good morning. Keeper: Darien, you gave me your word that you would be in here first thing. I have very important tests to run on the gland and an extremely limited amount of time in which to run them. Darien: I know I know I know � Keeper: This isn�t for my health you know. It�s for yours, remember? Darien phone voice: Oh I know you�re right you�re right � Darien: You�re absolutely right. Ok, my bad. I�m sorry. I�ll be right in alright? Keeper: Right in. Darien: Right in. [Darien hangs up. He grabs a pillow and rests. Cut to Darien walking down the sidewalk. It is daytime. He passes a newspaper stand.] Darien: (To newspaper man) Hey, how are you doin�! Newspaper Man: Good. How are you doin�! [Darien stops. He picks up a �Babes on Baywatch� magazine and flips through.] Darien Voice over: It suddenly dawned on me that it�s been almost two years since I�ve been able to enjoy the uh finer literary works in a color other than quicksilver vision. [A lady passing by bumps into Darien. The magazine drops to the ground.] Woman: Oh! Sorry here � Darien: No no no that�s okay. Woman: Let me help you. [They both bend down to pick up the magazine. Their eyes meet. He takes the magazine.] Woman: You know - a hottie like you shouldn�t be wasting his time with fantasy when reality can be so much better. [Darien looks at her. She thinks she just bombed with her pick up line.] Woman: Ok. [She stands up and walks away. Darien stands and begins to follow her. His cell phone rings. He grimaces and checks it. We see �Keeper 555-1323.� He watches the woman walk away. Darien hides the phone in the magazine rack and runs after her.] Darien: Excuse me missy� [We see the Official and Eberts in the Official�s office. The Official is on the phone, his feet propped up on the desk.] Official: Yes sir. Absolutely. Ah well we got just the man for the job. Hm. Well you can count on us sir. Thanks sir. [We see Eberts shining the Official�s shoes.] Official: Eberts. Assemble the troops. [The door opens. The Keeper, Monroe and Hobbes enter.] Official: Nice work Eberts. Keeper: We have a problem. Official: No, we have got an assignment. Where�s Darien? Hobbes: Well that�s the problem chief. Monroe: He hasn�t reported in. Official: Oh well all right go find him. We�ve got a mission for him to do. Keeper: A mission? No no he can�t go on any missions. Hobbes: What is the mission sir? Official: Oh really? I seem to recall something about me being in charge. Eberts: Ah sir the QS diagnostic protocol � the gland is temporarily inactive. (Official looks at Eberts) Shut my mouth sir. Yes sir. Yes. Yes. Official: When will the diagnostic be done? Keeper: Well I haven�t even started them. I can�t do a thing until Darien shows up. Monroe: Yeah well, fat chance of that�ll happen. You unleashed the puppy and he ran away. Official: All right. Go find him. Bring him back here so that the Keeper can restore the quicksilver gland. Monroe: Good luck Keeper. [Hobbes and Monroe exit.] Keeper: I can�t restore the gland until I have done my diagnostic. Official: Well we can�t wait. We�ve got a chance to bring down a major drug syndicate in one shot. Keeper: If I restart the gland prematurely it could severely damage Darien�s higher brain functions. Official: Does he have those? All right, fine. I�ve got other agents. We�ll do it without him. Keeper: We also have another problem. Official: Oh. What a surprise. Keeper: The inhibiting enzyme I gave Darien isn�t self-degrading. Official: Pretend I only speak English. Keeper: Well if we don�t get Darien in here and I give him the reverse enzyme within twelve hours, the blocked adrenaline will continue to build up in his system - until it kills him. [Commercial Break. We hear romantic music as Darien carries the woman through the front door of her apartment. They are kissing like passionate lovers. He moves into the bedroom and sits on the bed. Still kissing her, Darien holds up one hand and checks for invisibility.] Darien: Yeah � so far so good. Woman: Mmm � and it�s only going to get better. [She pulls his T-shirt off and gently pushes him down on the bed. She unzips her blouse.] Darien: Wait. Woman: What? Darien: I can�t do this. Woman: Sure you can. You were doing just fine. Darien: No, that�s � that�s not what I mean. Uh, look I-I don�t want to be one of those jerks who meets a great person like you and then just tries to � you know, do what it looks like we were about to do � and then then never calls. For reasons I can�t go into right now that�s what I�d have to do. [He touches her arm in consolation. She laughs.] Darien: What�s so funny? Woman: I don�t want you to call. Darien: You don�t? Woman: No. I just got out of a five-year relationship and at this moment I just want one thing from you. I could really care less if I ever hear from you again. So � [She gets up and moves to her dresser. She pulls out a nightie.] Woman: Don�t go disappearing on me. [She enters the bathroom. Darien can�t believe his good fortune.] Darien: No I won�t. Oh thank God! [Darien rejoices on bed. He pulls everything off the bed and strips to his underwear. He checks his hand and looks around.] Darien: Yeah, uh� music. How about some music? Woman: (from bathroom) I�d love some. Pick something good. [Darien looks through cd collection and plays one. The door opens. Monroe and Hobbes enter.] Monroe: Found him. Hobbes: You in love or something? Darien: (grabs t-shirt for a covering and whistles) Hey what the hell you guys doin� here? Hey how did you guys find me? Hobbes: Elementary Fawkesy, elementary. Monroe: We triangulated your cell phone onto the newsstand. Hobbes: And then the owner knew where the young lovely Rachel Lare � and then bing bang boom � Monroe: Here we are. Darien: Ok great well now you can go away. [Darien tries to drag Monroe and Hobbes respectively out of the room.] Darien: Here we go now here we go � Hobbes: He told us we can not go my friend. We have orders to bring you in my friend. Bring you in. Darien: Ok you want to know something? I am not going anywhere. Monroe: Oh well then � we�ll stay right here too. Darien: (To Hobbes) Will you � Hobbes: Oh I�d love to stick around and explain what the situation is. (To Monroe) Sweetheart � Darien: Why wouldn�t �ya? (He realizes he needs to go) Oh�all right all right. [Darien�s pants land on his shoulder. Monroe leaves. Hobbes and Fawkes follow her. Rachel enters from the bathroom dressed in her nightie. She poses in the bathroom doorway and then sees the room is empty. We see Darien and the Keeper in the Keep. Darien is on the examination chair and has monitors stuck to his temple and jaw. He wears a hospital gown. The Keeper shines a pen light in his face.] Keeper: Oh would you hold still? Darien: How much longer are you going to keep flashing this thing in my face here? Gosh! Keeper: I�m almost finished. Darien: Yeah well great I�m almost blind. Oh! Keeper: Done. Darien: (rubs his eyes) Great. I�d hate to see what�s next. [Keeper puts surgical gloves on. She removes jelly from a container.] Darien: What�s the glove for? Keeper: (groans) Do you really have to ask? Darien: (shakes head) No nah uh forget it. That ain�t going to happen. Keeper: I have to check the drugs effect on you entire endocrine system. Darien: Nono no- Keeper: Turn over. [Realizing she is serious, Darien begins to turn over.] Eberts on speaker: Uh pardon me doctor, the Official says that you were supposed to be in his office ten minutes ago do you have a briefing � Keeper: Briefing! [Keeper runs over to speaker.] Eberts: Hello? Keeper: I�ll be right there! Darien: What�s goin� on here? Keeper: Nothing that concerns you! Darien: No I heard uh briefing. I didn�t get any memo about any briefing � Keeper: Well yeah because while the gland is off duty you�re off duty. Ok I�m going to be back in twenty minutes. Don�t go anywhere Darien, please. Please! [Keeper grabs folder and exits.] Darien Voice over: Well this is of course the part where I quicksilver, sneak into the Official�s office and I spy on my fellow spies. Unfortunately, I think I�m going to have to go uh go a little more low-tech this time. [Darien walks down hallway. He knocks on the office door. Eberts answers the door.] Eberts: Sorry. Invited personnel � Darien: (pushes door in) Yeah whatever. (walks in) Oh! No no no � go ahead. Just uh pretend I�m not here � like I�m auditing class. Official: Fine. Just keep your mouth shut. Monroe: And your robe. Hobbes: Nice gams. [Darien turns the �key� over his mouth and sits.] Eberts: Continuing �NASA has requested that SP4368 be a top priority. Darien: NASA? We�re working for NASA now? Official: Fawkes. Darien: I just had new cards printed. Hobbes: Keep �em. We�re on a temporary loan out from Weights and Measures, my friend. Darien: Oh. Monroe: The Keep � why is this so important? Keeper: Oh ok alright � here we go. (Stands and moves to front by overhead projector) Albert � ow! Thank you. All right � SP4368 is a seed protein crystal that can only be made in zero gravity. Now NASA has been growing them on various space shuttle missions to help the pharmaceutical companies design new life saving drugs. (She hands the material to Eberts. He distributes it to them.) Now the space crystal acts as a starter seed for dozens of proteins that couldn�t otherwise be developed. (Everyone claps) Thank you. (She laughs.) Hobbes: Very good. Excellent. Fabulous. Beautiful, dahling� [Darien claps and gives two thumbs up. Keeper smiles flattered yet uncomfortable with the attention from everyone.] Keeper: They�re very valuable. Hobbes: And very stolen. Official: Yes that�s right. Over two months ago. Eberts: And now new illegal designer drugs have begun popping up on the streets based on the space crystals protein signature. Monroe: Any leads? Official: Yep. Shane Waring. Prominent and successful business man. Eberts: Whom the DEA believes is a man behind one of the world�s largest drug smuggling syndicates. Hobbes: What�s the problem? Get a warrant. Bust him down to prison copy boy. Official: He�s untouchable. A legal wiz. Can�t get a warrant. The only way we�re going to get those space crystals is to steal them. Eberts: We believe that the space crystals are housed on the thirtieth floor of this building. [Darien moves around to the front looking at the screen.] Official: Yeah it�s a uh import export company. One of Waring�s subsidiaries. Hobbes: What�s the plan? Eberts: Agent Hobbes, Agent Monroe, the two of you will be choppered into the roof of this building. From there you will go down the elevator shaft until you�ve reached the air ducts. You will shimmy through the air ducts until you have reach the office space where then you will then reacquire SP4368. Darien: Yeah you�d be lucky if you don�t get your brains blown out by Warren�s security. Official: You have a better plan? Darien: Oh yeah yeah. As a matter of fact I do. What you do is you make your base the neighboring building. Shoot a line right here, slide over, suction climb the outer walls, glass cutters to get inside and then you just disable the video surveillance with the feedback, loot, grab the goods and you�re out in less than (thinks) uh about nine minutes? Official: (impressed) What he said. Hm? Hobbes � Hobbes: Hm. Yes? Official: You stay at base. Alex you�ll be the one to make the penetration. Don�t you say anything. Darien: Hey wait I uh (raises hand) what am I going to do? Official: Well uh I guess what you normally do when you�re off duty. Darien: Chief � she ain�t half the thief I am. Hobbes: You�re good. Official: Darien, without the invisibility � Darien: I�m still a good thief chief. Hey, hey this I can do. Official: All right. All right. Darien: Thanks. Official: Make the necessary preparations. [Eberts hands Darien a floor plan. We see a neon sign �Hotel St. James.� Monroe, Hobbes and Fawkes are on top of the building. Darien in thief black climbs a ladder.] Hobbes: Nice move I meant. [Fawkes gives thumbs up signal.] Monroe: Ok he�s gone. We�ve got fifteen minutes before the next checkup. [Fawkes loads the crossbow and shoots. He hits the building.] Fawkes: I�ll be right back. Hobbes: Keep your head down and your eyes open and your ears perked. Channel two Fawkes. [Spy music plays. He slides down the rope to the building.] Hobbes: Nice. [Fawkes attaches the window plates and cuts the glass. He enters.] Fawkes: All right I�m in. Disabling the security cameras. [Fawkes attaches a device to the camera. We see the attendant watching a movie eating popcorn in the monitor room.] Fawkes: Cameras are disabled. Hobbes: (He and Monroe look on through binoculars) He�s got eight minutes until the next walk thru. Fawkes on earpiece: I�ll be out in four. [Fawkes picks the lock and enters the vault room. We see a table full of chemistry equipment. He breaks the combination lock and opens vault. He retrieves the box and opens to check contents. We see small vials encased in a padded box.] Fawkes: All right. I got it. Ok, I�m comin� out. (He stops.) Actually uh why don�t you give me a second here. Monroe on earpiece: We don�t have a second. Fawkes: I�m not leavin� all of these drugs. Hobbes on earpiece: Billy don�t be a hero. Fawkes: I am not leavin� all of these drugs! [Fawkes takes the chair and demolishes the equipment on the table. As he leaves, a chemical fire starts.] Darien Voice over: William Shakespeare once said that a coward dies a thousand deaths. A hero dies but one. [Fawkes karate chops and makes karate noises as he exits.] Darien Voice over: Of course what Billy was really trying to say was either way � you know, you lose. [The alarm sounds. The monitor attendant, still eating, hears that the alarm has sounded.] Fawkes: Ah crap. Monroe on earpiece: What? Fawkes: Fire alarm. [The sprinkler system turns on. Fawkes looks up. In the monitor room, the attendant sees Fawkes on the monitor screen.] Attendant: Oh! [Fawkes avoids the sparks flying and covers the camera with his mask.] Fawkes: Uh guys, we got another problem here. Hobbes on earpiece: Fawkes, go see through. Fawkes: Hobbes, I can�t. Hobbes on earpiece: Right. I�m sorry. Carry on. [Fawkes runs to hide. The Agents look for him. Fawkes steps out and ambles down the hall, thinking that the coast is clear. An agent steps out from behind and knocks him out. More agents approach.] Agent #1: Get the fire department over here. Agent #2: Forget the fire department � and the police. We�ll handle this ourselves. Call Mr. Warren. Wake him. (To Agents) Get him out of here. Hobbes: Fawkes. Where are �ya? Fawkes. Monroe: Hobbes. Hobbes. [They both look through binoculars. They see agents carrying Fawkes down the hall. Commercial Break. We see Agent#1 walking through lobby.] Agent #1: You two. Watch the elevators. [Monroe and Hobbes arms around each other laughing and �drunk�. They approach two agents standing there.] Hobbes: Oh excuse me- Monroe: Oh honey this isn�t our building? Is this two two um two two two two � Hobbes: Eberts street? Agent: No. Hobbes: It�s not? It�s not. Oh � [Hobbes and Monroe each kick an agent twice. The agents fall to the ground. Hobbes and Monroe enter the stairwell. We see Waring�s living room. The phone rings.] Waring: Hello. What? Wife: Something wrong dear? Waring: Oh, it�s probably work. I�ll take it in the kitchen. Wife: Grab some ice cream on your way back. Waring: What the hell�s going on down there? Agent #2: We got a break in. They were after the crystals. Waring: Did they get them? Agent #2: Ah, we got �em but the lab�s been trashed. Waring on phone: Who�s responsible? Agent #2: Mm. Looks like a one-man job. (Fawkes sits in chair, his head resting in his hand.) We ran his prints - small time thief. Nobody. Waring: Then he won�t be missed. Agent #2: Understood, Mr. Waring. Waring: (hangs up) Chocolate or vanilla? [We see Agent #2 and Fawkes in a room. The agent approaches Fawkes.] Fawkes: Hey you know what actually I had a thought here. What do you say we just exchange insurance information and I�ll be on my way here what do you say, huh? Agent #2: (pulls gun) Oh you�re goin� away � [Glass wall shatters. Monroe and Hobbes run in.] Agent #2: You! [Agent finds cover and shoots. Monroe and Hobbes are crouched behind partition.] Monroe: I wanted to shoot them. Hobbes: You always shoot them. You shoot them all the time. Monroe: I like shooting them. Hobbes: You shoot later. (fires gun) Go get Fawkes. I�ll cover �ya alright? Ready? [Hobbes fires as Monroe makes a run for Fawkes. Fawkes is crawling on the floor. One agent each grabs one of his arms. Monroe arrives and cleans house, kicking the agents, knocking them out cold. She pulls Fawkes up and they run for cover.] Fawkes: Nice work. Monroe: Thanks. I wish I could say the same for you. Hobbes: Alright get outta here! Get out! I�ll cover �ya! Monroe: Come on. Let�s go. Fawkes: Uh oh just hold on - just give me a second. Monroe: What? [Fawkes grabs backpack.] Monroe: Oh! [Hobbes fires gun and exits. The agent moves forward. We see Hobbes knocking an agent out and entering the elevator.] Agent #2 on earpiece: We got one comin� down. Get ready to intercept. [We see a door labeled �Stairs�. The door opens and Monroe and Fawkes exit. They see several agents in front of the elevator in the lobby. We see Hobbes waiting inside the elevator. Elevator music plays. He shoots the elevator speaker and continues to wait.] Monroe on earpiece: Hobbes? [Hobbes listens.] Monroe: H-Hobbes. You-you�ve got company. Hobbes: Way ahead of �ya. Gettin� off at the second floor. I�ll take the balcony. You meet me back at the base. [Elevator pings. Hobbes exits and an agent knocks him out.] Agent: Mission accomplished. [We see Monroe and Fawkes.] Monroe: Hobbes. Hobbes! Fawkes: Ouch. [We see Monroe and Fawkes enter the Keep.] Fawkes: All right let�s go. I want that gland back right now. Keeper: Oh that funny. Ha ha. It just sounded like � Fawkes: Here we go. Monroe: We left Hobbes. Waring has him. Fawkes: That�s right. And we�re gonna get him back. I�ll need every advantage so let�s � do something here. Keeper: Darien, no! It�s not that simple. The gland isn�t something I can just turn on like a light switch. Fawkes: Well you turned it off like a switch now didn�t you? Keeper: Yes but to turn it back on requires a series of smaller counter enzyme injections over a period of days. Fawkes: We don�t have days, all right? Keeper: Look, if I give you the whole protocol there�s no telling what could happen. Fawkes: Well actually there is. You give it to me and we�ll find out. Let�s go. Whip something up. Keeper: It could kill you. Fawkes: It could be his only chance. [He reclines on the examination chair. We hear him whistling. The Keeper injects him with a red chemical in his leg. Fawkes peeks over.] Fawkes: Well that wasn�t so bad. Keeper: I�m not done. [She unveils a tray and injects him with a shot containing a yellow chemical.] Fawkes: Hey ya � Hey! Keeper: Clench�clench�done. Monroe: Can�t you feel anything? Fawkes: Yeah. [Fawkes runs to the sink and we hear him throw up. We see the Keeper and Monroe looking on.] Keeper: It may take some time to take effect. Monroe: How long? Keeper: I don�t know. [We see Darien leaning over the sink. We see Monroe and Keeper.] Monroe: Well we�re out of time. We got to take the offensive. [A limo moves down the highway. We see two agents and Hobbes inside.] Hobbes: I don�t know what you�re think you�re going to accomplish by taking me out, pal. NASA�s got the crystals back right? My agency�s got more dirt on you and your boss to put you boys away for life. Alright? Killin� me only insures things are worse for you. Agent #2: First of all you have no dirt. Hobbes: I got a lot of dirt. Agent #2: Any property seized is inadmissible in court. You broke into our offices without a warrant. The only evidence against us is you. Hobbes: Me? Yeah? Agent #2: And you are near your expiration date. [We see miniature golf club party. A man putts and misses. We see the band, the banner for the festivity, then Monroe.] Monroe: Status. Fawkes: Whoa whoa whoa wait. (sees car) Hey copy that. I think I uh I think I�ve located the Warren mobile right here. [Waring exits the limo and walks inside.] Fawkes: Mm Hmm. Ok he�s on his way in right now. [We see a man behind a podium and a crowd gathered. Waring approaches.] Mayor: On behalf of all the underprivileged children who will now have a chance to get off the streets and on to the miniature golf course it is our honor to extend to you this small token of our appreciation. Waring: Why thank you mayor. I�m just happy to do my part for the community. Thank you very much. [Applause. The crowd disperses as Alex approaches Waring.] Mayor: Alex Monroe. Monroe: Mr. Mayor. Mayor: What a pleasant surprise. Forgive me um � Ms. Monroe, meet today�s benefactor - Shane Waring. Waring: My pleasure. Mayor: Alex works for � Monroe: I work for the people. Mayor: Don�t we all? (He laughs.) Waring: Well what is a lovely gem as yourself doing alone on this fine day? Monroe: I can�t seem to find my date. Waring: Well I can�t say that I�m disappointed. Perhaps I can help. What does he look like? Monroe: He�s a short bald man named Hobbes. Waring: Well maybe I really can help. Mayor: Mr. Waring does know a lot of people. Monroe: Ah ha so I hear. Waring: If he stood you up are you sure that your date is really worth the trouble? Monroe: Not really, but I feel � obligated. Waring: Are you sure? You know the old saying. If you love someone set them free because you just never know what might happen if you go looking too hard. Mayor: I don�t think the saying goes quite like that. Monroe: You know what else they say. I�ve got the space crystals and I�m willing to trade. Mayor: I haven�t heard that one at all. Waring: Neither have I � but I would love to hear more. (phone rings) Excuse me. Yes? Agent #2: We were about to return our package to its Maker. Waring: Don�t. Bring it back to town. Agent #2: Why? Waring: Just do it. [Inside limo, Hobbes is gagged. He mumbles. On screen we read � You got weekend minutes on that?�] Waring: Ms. Monroe, maybe we could get together sometime. I�d love to trade more witticisms. Monroe: Absolutely. How does tomorrow sound? Waring: Well with my recent business activities I never know what I�m doing until the last second. It keeps my competitors from catching me unaware. But I �ll call you. (To Mayor) Mayor, great to see you. Mayor: Always a pleasure. Waring: (To Monroe) No tricks or the � date is cancelled permanently. [Fawkes waits inside van and sighs.] Fawkes: Whoa whoa. (He sees Waring) Here he comes. Should I follow him? He could lead us back to Hobbes you know? Monroe on earpiece: No no you heard what he said. If he Monroe: makes you Hobbes is dead. Darien: Please, he ain�t going to make- [Waring sees Fawkes. He sends his agents to chase Darien.] Monroe on earpiece: What? Fawkes: He made me. (He tries to start van and fails.) Oh crap. [He tries to quicksilver and fails. Fawkes runs out of van. The agents chase him.] Fawkes: Officers? Officers, officers. Hey how�s it goin� guys? Hey I just wanted to jog over here to let you know what a super job I think you�re doin� of protecting us. Fine city, here. I feel very safe. (The agents walk away.) Really. Policemen: Thank you very much. [Commercial Break. We see Fawkes, Monroe and the Official in the Official�s office.] Official: You trying to get your partner killed? Fawkes: I was trying to save his life. Monroe: Well they might not call now if they think they can�t trust us. Fawkes: Relax all right? They�ll call. We got a little somethin� they want. [The phone rings. The Official and Monroe each answer their phone.] Official: Hello. Monroe: Hello. Voice on phone: Stadium parking lot. Fifteen minutes. Come alone or your man pays the price. Fawkes: That�s it. Monroe: Uh. You�re not going anywhere unless you can quicksilver. Official: Yeah. That�s right. Fawkes: Hang on there all right ok uh let me just (swings arms back and forth) � come on you�re the invisible man you�re the invisible man you�re the invisible man�(fails to quicksilver) Monroe: (waits then sees nothing) Then I�m solo. [Monroe exits. Fawkes follows her.] Official: Fawkes, you heard her. Fawkes: Chief, she�s gonna need backup ok? Official: Fawkes, you�re not much help in a scenario like this without the quicksilver. [Fawkes punches the wall and slams the door. He turns around and and walks back into the office. We see the stadium parking lot. A limo is parked. A car pulls up. We see Monroe prepare her gun then check her makeup in the car vanity mirror. They meet. From a distance Fawkes looks through binoculars behind Golda.] Agent #2: Let me see the crystals. Monroe: Let me see Hobbes. Agent: He�s inside. [She enters car and sits next to Hobbes. Hobbes is mumbling. On screen translation: �I can�t believe you walked into a trap. Monroe pulls the gag down off Hobbes� mouth.] Hobbes: I can�t believe you walked right into a trap. Agent #2: The crystals. [Monroe hands Agent #2 the suitcase. He opens it. We see seven seconds and counting down on the display window. It looks like a bomb.] Agent #2: Run! [Agents flee the limo. We see Hobbes� rear and Monroe who is seated inside the limo.] Hobbes: Can�t believe they fell for it. Monroe: Just be glad they did [Monroe pushes Hobbes into the driver�s seat. She moves up to the front passenger seat. We see Fawkes looking through binoculars. We see the limo drive off.] Agent #2: (on phone in getaway car) Can I speak to Mr. Waring? [We see inside Waring�s house. His daughter is playing the piano. Waring paces with phone in hand.] Waring: -In my limo? Agent #2: Yes sir. Waring: Keep following him. I�ll handle it. [Car chase. We see Hobbes and Monroe inside limo.] Monroe: Head for the golf course. We can hide there. Hobbes: Hide? Bobby Hobbes doesn�t hide from nobody. Monroe: There�s five of them and two of us and they�re armed. Hobbes: Let�s hide. Monroe: Good idea. [We see Waring on phone in his home.] Voice on phone: Waring store. Can we help you? Waring: This is Shane Waring. I�d like to report my car stolen. [We see Hobbes in the driver seat of the limo. The car is making noises.] Hobbes: What�s goin� on? What�s happening? Ah no the engine�s dyin�. [The limo stops. Hobbes and Monroe exit the limo. They run to hide from the agents who are following them.] Monroe: Hobbes, this way. [We see Darien in the driver�s seat of Golda. He is still waiting to quicksilver again.] Fawkes: Ok come on come on come on come on please just this once just this once baby � I promise I promise I will never say anything bad about you again ok here we go here we go � [He breathes and nothing happens. Fawkes grabs two guns from Golda�s glove compartment and runs out to meet Hobbes and Monroe. We see Hobbes and Monroe run. Fawkes jumps out and gets their attention.] Fawkes: (stands like a gunslinger with both guns up) Hey! Monroe: What are you doing here? Fawkes: Savin� your butt. Monroe: I thought I told you to stay away. Fawkes: Good thing you didn�t. [Agents shoot at them. Hobbes and Monroe fire back. Monroe, Fawkes and Hobbes run into a windmill on the miniature golf course. The agents shoot holes through the windmill.] Agent: All right the game�s up. Come on out and we don�t shoot. Hobbes: Is the silent fame factory up and running yet? Huh? Fawkes: I don�t know. I�m every bit as in need of the life of adrenaline. Oh come on you are the invisible man you are the invisible man you are the invisible man�(He fails) Oh oh God oh God � Hobbes: Give me another clip � clip? Give me another clip. Fawkes: What clip? Monroe: You did bring another clip, right? Fawkes: No I�m clipless. Monroe: Oh that�s just brilliant. Fawkes: Well come on if you guys had decided not to be missing so much you wouldn�t need another one did you ever think of that? Monroe: Ha ha. [The agents move in closer. We see Hobbes and Fawkes inside the windmill.] Hobbes: (To Monroe) You think we can take �em? Monroe: Well they�re armed and well we�re not. Fawkes: Uh guys � Hobbes: We don�t have much choice. Fawkes: Hey guys something�s happening here. Hobbes: What? What? Fawkes: I mean I don�t know I just � oh! Hobbes: What? Fawkes: (groans) Oh � I feel like I�m about to � Agent: Take �em out! [The Agents shoot at the windmill that, by now, turns completely invisible from quicksilver. Invisible Darien picks up a golf club and quicksilvers it. He swats three agents knocking them out. We see Hobbes and Monroe leaving the windmill that is now visible again.] Hobbes: Fawkes, the gun! [Hobbes shoots at a giant golf ball hanging that falls and knocks down Agent #2. He reaches for his gun. Monroe steps on his wrist and picks up his gun and points it at him.] Monroe: You have the right to remain silent. Hobbes: Fawkes where are �ya? Fawkes: (still invisible) Oh I�m - I�m right here. I�ll be there in a second. I�m just really enjoying this right now. [Commercial Break. We see the Keeper and Darien in the Keep. They are facing each other. The Keeper sits on her table with Darien standing at a distance.] Keeper: All right. One more time, please. [Darien quicksilvers from his hand down arm through his chest down other arm. Then he holds both arms up and quicksilvers down both arms through his chest. He turns around to show his back and the quicksilver traveling up his neck and disappearing out the top of his head. The Keeper claps relieved.] Fawkes: Thank you. It seems to be working fine. What do you think? Keeper: Yes the inhibiting enzyme has totally degraded from your system. Fawkes: So uh no more spontaneous disappearing acts huh? Keeper: No. I learned enough from the diagnostic to find two new counteragent. Fawkes: (nods) Hm. Keeper: (smiles) You�re back on duty. [Darien groans. We see Darien at the magazine stand. He sits and reads a magazine while he sips on his drink.] Darien Voice over: Ah it did feel good to be back. Although it bugged me that Waring had gotten away scot - free. But like George Bernard Shaw said as long as I have a want I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death. [Rachel stops by to pick up a paper. He stands to speak to her. They look at each other.] Darien: Oh hey � how �ya doin�? (He looks at her face) Wow. Look � uh about the other night you know I uh I wanted to apologize. I�m really sorry there was uh- [Rachel slaps him across the face and knees him in the groin. She walks on. Darien is stunned.] Darien Voice over: On the other hand, just because I have accepted what I am doesn�t mean I have to like it. [Darien makes an �o� with his mouth and begins breathing in short breaths. We see the closing credits.] |