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| Fan Fiction Archive |
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| Ghost of a Chance Transcribed by Nobodysgirl |
| [A hand reaches and turns a doorknob. It�s Darien entering the Official�s office.] Darien: Hey. Official: Fawkes! [Eberts and another man are standing near the Official�s desk.] Darien: Yeah? Official: When the door is *closed*�it means do not come in. Darien: (Looks back at door and then to the Official) Well you know it�d be a lot *clearer* if you�d just put up a sign or something- [The Official looks like he�s at his tolerance for people entering unannounced breaking point.] Official: Hay hay hay�Get out! Get out. Get out. Darien: All right! All right. I gotchyou. [Darien leaves the office and leans against the wall outside the door.] Darien Voice Over: There�s an Old English proverb that says��It�s too late to close the barn door after the horse is already gone.� [Darien quicksilvers. Eberts goes to shut door. Invisible Darien enters.] Darien Voice Over: Yeah well�the same is true when I�ve already entered. Government Agent: (gestures with hands) As I was saying you have no choice in the matter. Now I want that Invisible Man in this office in the next five minutes. Official: And as I was saying there�s no such thing as an invisible man. Government Agent: (frustrated) Ok we keep going over this again and again and quite frankly it�s getting old, now get him in here! Official: (jokingly) Eberts! Get this Invisible Man in here! Eberts: (innocently) But sir I-I don�t know what he looks like. [Official laughs. The Government Agent walks to his briefcase and opens it.] Darien Voice Over: George Bernard Shaw said that��My way of joking is to tell the truth. It�s the funniest joke in the world.� [A pencil hovers in the air. The Official grabs it before the agent can see what is happening. The Government Agent is now facing the Official�s desk. Behind him, the flag material is being lifted up. Eberts hugs the flag.] Government Agent: I hope that you two are done joking because I think I�ve heard them all. Now this is a matter of national security. (He drops the files on the Official�s desk.) We need your invisible agent for our operation to succeed and that fact has not been lost on your superior. Eberts: The Official *has* no superiors in this agency. Government Agent: Not at this agency no. [Invisible Darien lifts the phone receiver off the phone. The Official grabs it.] Official: (grabs the phone receiver) Oh! Government Agent: May I use your phone? Official: Certainly. [The Government Agent takes phone receiver and dials. We hear a dial tone and then someone picking up.] Government Agent: Yes? This is CIA Special Agent Miller. I *believe* he�s expecting my call. Darien: (To Official) Hey who�s the stiff in the suit? Huh? Who is this guy? What? [The Official is swatting in the air to find Darien. He hits him.] Darien: Ow! Will you quit hitting me? Miller: Yes sir! Yes sir he�s reacting exactly as you predicted. [Miller hands the phone receiver to the Official.] Official: Hello�yes sir! Ah! (He laughs)�Of course sir. Yes sir I see�and a good day to you too sir. Miller: Now�Where is he? Official: Fawkes. [Darien unquicksilvers while seated on the Official�s desk. He is chewing gum.] Fawkes: Yeah? [Miller quickly backs away in amazement and sits.] Fawkes: (matter-of-factly) Hey wait�uh was that the president you guys were talking to? �Cause I was just sayin� if it *was* you know that�it�s pretty cool. Official: We need to have a little talk about privacy. Darien: Well I think we need to have a little talk about you talking about me behind my back. Miller: (stands) No! We need to have a little talk about your next mission. [The Official and Darien both look at Miller.] Miller: Your country needs you. [Into music and clips.] Darien Voice Over: There once was a story about a man who could turn invisible. I thought it was only a story� until it happened to *me*. Ok, so here's how it works. There's this stuff called quicksilver that can bend light. Some scientists made it into a synthetic gland and that's where I came in. See, I was facing life in prison and they were looking for a human experiment. So, we made a deal. They put the gland in my brain. I walk free. The operation was a success�but that's where everything started to go wrong. [<Commercial Break> The Keeper, Fawkes, Hobbes, The Official, and Agent Miller are gathered around the computer in the Official�s room.] Miller: Ok. Your mission Darien, (hits key) should you choose to accept it, is going to take place in a small South American country known as Santa Ruego. [A marker is placed on a high tech map where Santa Ruego is. People are seated around a conference table. A man walks around.] Man: Santa Ruego now has a parliamentary government. The Prime Minister is Juan Carlos Arias. (Picture of Arias on screen) Now he�s the son of Juan Arias Senior, (Picture on screen changes to Juan Arias Senior) the mastermind behind the overthrow of the fascist government that preceded him. [Back to The Official�s room. Miller is seated in front of the computer screen.] Miller: When he retired, his son Juan was overwhelmingly elected for the prime ministry. He is without a doubt the most popular leader the country�s ever had. Hobbes: (looking on) I can vouch for that. Darien: Oh you can vouch? You�re a voucher now? I suppose you know the history of the whole place, right? Hobbes: As a matter of fact I do. I did a little work over there at the Embassy with some of your buddies in fact. Miller: Yes that�s true and in fact there was a discussion as to whether or not it was prudent to let you return. Hobbes: (clears throat) Excuse me� Miller: Coming up in the very near future will be a very important *vote* in the country of Santa Ruego. [Back to the fancy conference room.] Man: Now it involves the new weapons system that the small Santa Ruego military is about to employ on their northern most border. It�s called BIO X. [Back to the Official�s office.] Miller: BIO X has a severe threat to the security of the United States. The weapon was intended to be a deterrent defense against its neighbor. Man: However�with a few simple keystrokes it can be launched at the United States. Now the parliament of Santa Ruego is deeply divided on deploying such a nasty weapon. In fact their vote split in to an even tie. Therefore the deciding vote�falls on Prime Minister Arias. [He walks up to a Woman standing there. They look at each other. Back to the Official�s office.] Miller: Now Prime Minister Arias is known to be a very superstitious man. You name it and he believes in it�werewolves, goblins, ghosts, aliens, Bigfoot. Darien: (whispers to Bobby) Sasquatch. Miller: Whatever�He believes in it. (To Darien) And that�s why it�s important that we have a person of you particular talents and abilities. [Back to other conference room.] Man: (To Woman) That�s why we need a person with your unique talents and abilities. Woman: What do you want me to do? [Screen slides over to Darien.] Darien: All right great so what do you want me to do here? Miller: We want you to pose as a ghost and scare Prime Minister Arias into voting *against* the program. [Darien smiles. One by one they all crack up laughing.] Darien: Now�come on but seriously. Official: (laughs) Boo! Juan Carlos! Boo! [The Keeper cracks up laughing even more.] Darien: No seriously. What? You are kidding me? Miller: Ok people�let me make something clear I never kid when it comes to national security. Now it is of the utmost importance that we do not allow them to deploy this weapons system in our own backyard. Now if any of you have any other competent suggestions weapons short of going to war, I�d be happy to hear it. [Back to the other conference room.] Man: (To Woman) We�re counting on you to use the unique talents that we�ve given you in order to persuade Se�or Arias to deploy the BIO X weapons system. Woman: (smoothly) Not a problem. [Back to the Official�s room.] Miller: The plan is quite simple. Agent Hobbes and Agent Fawkes would be reassigned to the US Embassy as special advisor. All right. Here�s a file on the man whose ghost you are going to portray. Read it and memorize it. Darien: Memorize? Hobbes: (clears throat) Excuse me sir. The implication here is that we�re going to be� working at the Embassy�with Ambassador Hollywall is that correct? Miller: Do you�have a problem with that? Hobbes: No. No I�m fine. Keeper: Is there some reason you don�t want to go back there, Bobby? Hobbes: Oh uh�it�s hell. [Latin music. We see a car drive up to the Embassy. Greeters meet Fawkes, Hobbes, and The Keeper.] Darien: (To greeter) Hey! How�s it goin�? (To Hobbes) So this is your idea of hell, huh? Hobbes: Well, it�s not just the place. It�s- it�s the *people* sometimes. Darien: Yeah they seem really terrible. [Someone pours water into a glass. Guards open the doors. Bobby leads with his hand up waving. Darien and Claire follow.] Hobbes: Ambassador Hollywell. So nice to see you sir. Hollywell: You! You�ve got a great deal of *gall*. Hobbes: And may I say you�re looking very fit today. Hollywell: Fit enough to kick your ass- Keeper: My name is Claire Keeply sir. And this is Darien Fawkes. Hollywell: Nice to meet you. If I didn�t have orders directly from the White House, you�d be in a cell about now. Hobbes: Sir, with all due respect I think that it�s best that we just put that whole thing behind us. Hollywell: Oh really? Well, my daughter didn�t just put the whole thing behind her. She cried for a whole week! [Darien and Claire look uncomfortable having to listen to them discuss their personal matters like this.] Hobbes: Well uh sir�about that�listen it really wasn�t what it appeared to be sir. Hollywell: Are you calling my daughter a liar? Hobbes: Well if the shoe fits. Hollywell: Get out. Get out of this office you little bald pile of crap. And I don�t want to see you until we start this charade. We have an appointment with the Prime Minister at fifteen hundred hours. [Hobbes laughs through tears. Ambassador Hollywell leaves the room.] Keeper: Good. All right. Okay. Darien: Thank you. [We see the outside of a building or home. A car pulls up. We hear Spanish guitar music.] Hollywell: Carlos! Carlos: Welcome Ambassador. Inside please. [One by one Hollywell, Hobbes and Fawkes enter the building.] Carlos: Thank you. [They enter a living room or study area.] Carlos: Please have a seat for a minute. Arias: Hola Greg. Bienvenidos! Hollywell: (shakes hand) Hola Juan! Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with us. Uh Prime Minister Arias I�d like you to meet Mister�Darien Fawkes (they shake hands)�Mister Robert Hobbes (they shake hands) as sent by the President of the United States as special advisors. Arias: How nice of him. I didn�t know I needed advice. Hollywell: Well no one meant to imply that you- Arias: What area of expertise are your advisors in? Hollywell: Uh they happen to be experts- Arias: I asked *them* Se�or Hollywell not you. Hollywell: Oh of course. Fawkes: Well we�re a- Hobbes: We�re economic advisors sir. The president sent us with an economic aid package that we think you�ll find most favorable. Arias: Really? Please�sit down. Fawkes: Thank you. [They sit.] Arias: So�tell me about this�package. Fawkes: Well it�s uh�you know as my uh�co-advisor was saying the uh package itself is uh you know the package is�it�s very favorable. Hobbes: The United States is prepared to offer open-ended unsecured loans for use in the following areas�agriculture, industry, energy, education and environmental protection. Additional aid will come in the form of grants that can generate funds for financing co-op projects. Fawkes: Yeah. Arias: (stands) And what does the United States want in return? Hobbes: An agreement from you sir. Not to deploy the BIO X weapons system. Arias: (Smiles, laughs to himself) Ah. So you know about that? Hobbes: Well�Very little flies under our radar sir. Fawkes: Very little. Arias: Hm. And what does the United States care if we deploy the BIO X? It is intended as a deterrent to invasion by our neighbors. It is not intended to be a threat to the United States. Hobbes: Oh we understand that- Fawkes: Well yeah of course it isn�t sir, but our intelligence shows that only a few key strokes and the weapons could target Florida, Texas�California? Arias: And why would we do that�Hm? You are our friends. Hobbes: Right! Exactly which is why we are trying to offer you such generous financial help. Fawkes: It�s very generous. MmHmm. [Arias moves to stand in front of the window. A breeze blows the curtain. He steps back.] Arias: Eres culpa. (I�m sorry) Fawkes: What�Sorry? What is that? Hobbes: He�s apologizing. Arias: I am sorry I cannot accept your offer. No money is more valuable than my country�s security and I believe BIO X is tantamount to that security. So�please feel free to linger and enjoy the beautiful Aleguardia Gardens on the way out to the front gate. Good day gentlemen. [They stand as he exits.] Carlos: Right this way please. Gentlemen. Fawkes: (To Hobbes) They have gardens. [Ambassador Hollywell thanks Carlos.] Carlos: You are quite welcome Ambassador. Hobbes: Looks like it�s time for the Casper routine, my friend. Fawkes: We�ll do it tonight. [They exit. Nightime outside Arias� place. We hear ghost like music. Inside we see him at his desk in his study/bedroom area. A door opens. Arias gets up.] Darien Voice Over: Ok! I�m not a big believer in ghosts or-or anything [Quicksilver vision of Arias approaching the door.] Darien Voice Over: supernatural for that matter..so I don�t claim to be an expert at this. [Arias sees the door shut.] Arias: �Algui�n Aqu�? (Is anybody there?) [Invisible Darien opens the music box. The Prime Minister shuts it. The bay doors open. Arias moves toward the doors.] Arias: �Qui�n eres? �Qu� quieres conmigo? �H�blame! (Who is it? What do you want with me? Speak to me!) [The lights go off.] Darien Voice Over: All right there�s this old Burmese proverb that says� �A blind man is not afraid of ghosts.� Now in other words�being invisible isn�t gonna cut it by itself I mean�to really scare this guy? He�s gotta *see* somethin�. [A candle floats toward Arias. He backs up until he bumps into the desk. Invisible Darien�s eyes unquicksilver.] Arias: (Getting scared) �Qui�n eres? Who are you? Darien: I�m a US Marine Gunnery Sergeant Jocelyn. Arias: Should I know you? Darien: Yeah you should I was uh I was guardin� the�US Embassy the�night your father decided to attack it. I was the first one to die. Arias: You can�t make me responsible for that. I don�t agree with what my father did or at least not how he did it. Santa Ruego is friends with the US now. Darien: Well I-I don�t get it. Well then�why are you deploying biological weapons in our back yard? Arias: It�s not intended against the US. It�s to the friends in the north. Darien: (screams like a drill instructor) You don�t know? How would it be used to the future! (softly) I can see more than you can. I can see ahead. Arias: Por favor. Darien: Let me explain somethin� to you if you vote to deploy those weapons you�re going to join your father a lot sooner than you think�Trust me it ain�t going to be in heaven�you understand what I�m sayin? Arias: S�. Darien: So how are ya going to vote? Arias: I will vote�against the�BIO X deployment. Darien: Good. (whispers) I�ll be watching you. [Invisible Darien extinguishes candle and drops it. The Woman is standing outside the bay window and apparently has been watching the whole thing. She walks off. <Commercial Break> The outside of the Embassy building at night with a guard posted. Cut to inside of building where Darien Fawkes, Bobby Hobbes, and the Keeper are waiting. Bobby paces while Claire preps Darien�s arm for an injection of counteragent.] |