ScriptsCatandMouse

Voice Over: Ray Manrey said an original creation is motivated by desire, any reproduction
is motivated by necessity.
We see Chinese Scientists about to test their version of quicksilver on a human subject.
It works at first then the quicksilver begins to burn him and he falls to the bottom of
the chamber. The test is a failure.

Voice Over: My quicksilver gland was created by my country's desire to have an almost unstoppable secret weapon. Another country attempts to recreate it was necessitated by the fact that we had it and they didn't. Kind of a quicksilver gap if you will.
The doctor exams the man, he's dead.

Intro music and the usual There once was a story about a man who could turn invisible
I use to think it was only a story until it happened to me...

Official: An invisible man, ha ha, now wouldn't that be nice?

Agent Miller of the CIA: Then why else would the Republic of China be targeting a place
like this?

Official: The Republic of China, beats me. Maybe they have over active imaginations.

Miller: We've had agents stationed outside Peking for eighteen years, I doubt very
seriously that what they have learned has anything to do with imaginations.

Official: Are these the same operatives that tracked a target all the way to Shanghai
who turned out to be a blind ox peddler?

Miller: Ok that's irrelevant, the question remains if there is no invisible man then why
the interest.

Official: Three days out of the week we can't afford to flush our toilets, where would
I get the funds for an invisible agent?

Miller: This is who they are talking about, now are you going to tell me that, he is not
in any way an invisible man.

Official: (laughing) Oh how I wish he were invisible ( a picture of Hobbes)

Miller : You're very good., you raise stone walling to an art form

Official: Thank you

Miller: It's not going to do you any good, we are going to keep this Agency
under twenty-four hour surveillance. So let me give you a little advice. Watch your step.

Official: You always have to much time on your hands, but if I see anything or
better yet if I don't' see anything, I'll let you know. Good luck to you Agent Miller.

New Scene: Still in the Official's office.

Official: A satellite snoop tipped us to the China quicksilver project a while back but
their formula breaks down in the advanced stage. So guess what, they want ours.

Bobby: They got me as the I-man, huh, they think it's me? (Bobby chuckles)

Official: Correct and we'd like to keep it that way

Bobby: That's fine with me it's about time I started getting some respect from the outside.

Darien: Well believe me, you're going to be a getting a lot more than respect

Bobby: What's that supposed to mean?

Eberts : It means the Chinese will be tracking you

Official: So the two of you will have to stay together at all times, on and off duty, til
further notice.

Darien: What you mean like living together?

Bobby: What happened to watching us separately?

Official: I don't have the man power, Chinese trackers have already been spotted by the
CIA, they are close.

Eberts: And the Agency safenet will be in place if they try to move in on you

Darien: Oh that's reassuring

Official: Our plan is to catch them in the act

Darien: In the act of what killing us?

Eberts: Hopefully trying to capture Hobbes, if they want quicksilver they need to get it
while the host is alive.

Official: Look gentlemen there is a leak out there, this is how we go about finding it.
We get one Chinese operative, put him in custody and find out how much they know
about the I-man project, when they knew it and where they got it.

Eberts: It is there for very important that you carry on as if everything is normal

Darien: Yeah, well I start hanging out with Hobbes and normal goes right out the window

Bobby: Ain't that the truth

New Scene: At Darien's apartment

Bobby: So we are going to stay in all night, is that what we're going to do?

Darien: ( he's reading) It's what people do Hobbes

Bobby: Old people, in firmed people

Darien: People being hunted down by foreign powers

Bobby: Hey whatever the Agency needs to have happen isn't going to happen with us
staying inside.

Darien: When it happens I'd prefer it to be in daylight so at least I can see it happen

Bobby: Which is probably what they are thinking, which is why they aren't going to
do it. Which means I've got to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder.

Darien: Hobbes you say that like it's different from the way things are now.

Bobby: Fawkes nobody ever mistook me for you before, alright?

Darien: That's a relief

Bobby: Listen if the Agency needs for me to be bait, then I'm going to be bait. It's my job.

Darien: That's not a wise move my friend.

Bobby: You know what the difference is between me and you

Darien: Oh yeah I know this one you're nuts.

Bobby: Come on get up ( Bobby grabs Darien's toe where it's resting on the end of
the couch)

Darien: Ahh, Ok, Ok, Ok if you are going to insist on being a target, I can at least
be there to say I told you so.

Bobby: Good brush your teeth.

New Scene: At a local bar

Bobby: Nice to see you, Hey Steve

Darien: First time here huh?

Bobby: Hey, everybody knows my name

Darien: You know they say in the Secret Agent handbook that's not a good thing

Bobby: Not my real name I'm in textiles, textiles my HQ's in KC.

Darien: I'm Sorry?

Bobby: The usual

Darien: So what you knit afghans

Bobby: I'm in industrial fabrics, polyester, nylon, you know fiberglass

Darien: Polyester that sounds about right

Bobby: I'm the leading manufacturer for the last fifteen years

Darien: Fifteen years wow, you must be very proud

Two ladies approach them: Hey Bobby

Bobby: Well look who's here Katrina and Heidi

Darien: Excuse me, Hi.

Bobby: Oh, I'm sorry this is a good friend of mine

Darien: Darien

Bobby: Darien, Darien Fawkes he's from out of town

One of the ladies: Nice to meet you, but she hardly even glances at Darien.
Bobby you promised you'd call

Bobby: Call, I was calling, I was going to call, I'm going to call, I'd love to take you
to dinner but you know factory problems.

Darien: You know that Bobby work, work, work

Bobby: Lets take the load off don't you think

The ladies : Cocktails

Bobby: What ever they are having on me Nick

Darien notices the entire bar is full of Asians

Darien: Hey sorry to interrupt

Bobby: Fawkes I'm a little busy right now

Darien: yeah I just need to talk to you for a second

Bobby: Take a walk

Darien: Privately I need to talk to you

Darien pulls Bobby aside

Darien: this place is full of Asians

Bobby: Asians that's because we are in China town

Darien: Great, great so we are being stalked by the Chinese and you bring me here

Bobby: My friend this is where I hang out, besides thats the idea. The plan is to draw
'em out, if you see any suspicions characters wave 'em over, cause the sooner we nail
'em the sooner I get back to my normal life. Which as we both can tell is a whole lot
more interesting than your life.

Darien: If they make a move on us in here, there ain't going to be an Agency safety net
we're sitting ducks. We got to get out of here Hobbes.

Bobby: You're killing me here

Darien: Now

Bobby: Ok ( as Darien drags him towards the door)

Bobby: Fawkes you have no idea what you pulled me away from. Do you realize what
you did, she's Greek, I would have gotten you a date if you just relax a little bit.
A little dinner, a little conversation, we deserve it we, earned it.

The two car hop guys jump them, Bobby gives as good as he is getting and yells at
Darien to run for it

Bobby: Get out of here they want me not you, Go!

Darien escapes then returns invisible and makes a subdued Bobby go invisible also.

Bobby: Cool

New Scene: In the Official's office

Darien: Major league safety net you got there

Official: Alright guys we weren't counting on local interference.

Eberts: At that time Agency thought it would be best to rescue you after your capture

Darien: That game plan is a little off the cuff isn't it?

Bobby: I'd say

Eberts: We can't risk engagement with local law enforcement. Our covert activities would
be compromised.

Darien: Ya well better your activities then our asses

Official: Your lives were never in danger, at least not after Bobby disappeared.
AH, Fawkes that was a beautiful thing.

Darien waves off the praise.

BOBBY: yeah next time a little warning would be nice, that was truly very weird

Darien: What are you talking about, you've seen me do that before.

Bobby: seeing is one thing but having it done to you, that is... oh, man wild.
You should try it.

Official: Oh he's already invisible, ha. It worked like a charm, it convinced anybody
that Hobbes is the real thing.

Eberts: And they are certain to make another try since they haven't seen our safety net

Darien: Well what a coincidence, neither did we, actually I don't even believe there
is an Agency safety net.

Official: Oh you doubting our word?

Darien: Yes

Bobby: No, No it's just we'd like a little reassurance is all

Official: Oh I see, well keep up the good work gentlemen. Dismissed.

Darien: Kiss ass. (they leave together)

Bobby: He's going to let the Chinese bag me.

Darien: Hey, you know what why don't you save the conspiracy theory for the company
picnic.

Bobby: I'm telling you, it's the smart thing to do if I was the Fatman it would be my move

Darien: Time for the meds Bobby

Bobby: Come on Fawkes those city cops had nothing to do with Agency no shows last
night, Ok the Official wants me grabbed.

Darien: Why they are just going to see that you're not the I-man

Bobby: Thats right then they figure there info is wrong, go home, one thing I get
popped first Ok? I'm expendable my friend, not you, me!

Darien: Hobbes look I know you think you're underappreciated

Bobby: And under paid

Darien: Yeah, Ok fine who are they going to replace you with that would work this
cheep, hum who?

Bobby: You got a point

Darien: Thank you, trust me sooner or later this whole mess ends up back on me.
I'm spread out on someone's lab table... speaking of which I got to go....

Bobby: Fawkes thank you I feel much better now. You're pain somehow sort of
eases me.

Darien: I'm glad I think.

New Scene: In the lab

Claire: So you're not much for conversation today

Darien: Yeah I know I've been doing a little thinking. Hey, what would happen if I wound
up in the wrong hands

Claire: The Agency is going to make sure that doesn't happen

Darien: Yeah of course they are, but say that it did happen

Claire: Bad luck scenario, they wouldn't really know about the gland and they would
kill you when they tried to remove it.

Darien: Ok lets say I get lucky, wind up with a well informed Scientist.
Someone who knows the ins and outs of quicksilver, the gland. It could happen.

Claire: Well if that happens they would probably leave the gland alone and
get it to generate a lot of quicksilver and bleed it out of you with a catheter.

Darien: Oh then I'd go quicksilver crazy

Claire: No, it's wouldn't be in your system, so it wouldn't drive you mad.

Darien: So you're saying that once they got the quicksilver they could duplicate it?

Claire; Yes, then they could make anything disappear, nuclear devises, missiles anything

Darien: Yeah, but then they'd have no more use for me?

Claire: No

Darien: so they'd dispose of me

Claire: In all likelihood

Darien: Um this whole thing just gets better and better doesn't it

Darien joins Bobby outside.

Darien: Well I guess they ran over the invisible man, I guess my worries are over

Bobby: You should be so lucky

Darien: Alright stop, please, I can't help myself what the hell are you doing down
there Hobbes? (Bobby is sticking out from under the van)

Bobby: I was in echo company with my CO playing cards, right. I took him for a
couple of hundred bucks, alright. He jumps in his jeep, right, going on and on about
how he's going to win it all back. Bragging, he turns on the ignition, boom an eleven
year old Lebanese kid wired it. We never did find all the body parts.

Darien: Ok don't forget to check the rear section

Bobby: What that?

Darien: The rear section check it, I don't want my final moments to be in this piece of
crap.

Bobby: Just keep your mits off the doors Fawkes

Darien: I'm not touching anything

Bobby: I haven't checked 'em yet

Darien: Will you just check it
B
obby: Leave 'em alone

New Scene: Darien and Bobby driving:

Bobby: Let's get the show on the road, looks like our fan club is back in position.
( he nods towards two guys in a parked car, as they leave the van and walk up
the street)
As two grown men in a parked car eating donuts, see 'em? Just like we hoped for.

Darien: We're is the Agency safety net? I keep hearing about, shouldn't they be in
identical car but on our side?

Bobby: Can't see 'em that's all. They were taught to blend in better.

Darien: Unless they were taught to dress like fire hydrants, I think we're screwed.

Bobby: Better place for a shake out car, that's all I can say

Darien: so this is what you call a shake out car?

Bobby: What did you expect a limo? ( it's a small plain car)

Darien: Oh this is new I get to be my own airbag.

Bobby: we still got company?

Darien: What do you think huh? I guess they didn't fall for the 'ol compact car routine.

Bobby: That's fine we'll just hit the next shake out vehicle

Darien: The way this is playing it's liable to be a couple of skate boards

Bobby: Hang on

They park quickly and run across a park. Darien quicksilvers Bobby and they split up.
Darien finds a somewhat bigger car and drives off losing the two guys chasing him.
Bobby finds another small car and the quicksilver falls off as he tries to get it to start.
He drives off, but his followed.

Bobby: Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty., here kitty, kitty, kitty. You call that driving
this is driving. Bobby make several turns and appears to wreak into a large truck
making his car explode.

Darien arrives a minute later and sees his Partner acting very distraught.

New Scene: At a cemetery, Bobby's funeral

Official: Bobby Hobbes was like a son to me. I remember sitting in my big chair reading
field reports. Bobby would come to me, let's play Fatman. That was his term of endearment
for me Fatman. I'd like to suggest we retire that nickname in honor of Bobby Hobbes. Bobby Hobbes wasn't just a good Agent, he wasn't just a good man he was a good son.
I'm going to miss him.

Claire is sobbing on the side.The Official ends his speech and hugs Darien, then goes
to stand beside Claire who leans into him. Darien takes the podium.
Bobby is watching and is all chocked up by his funeral.

Darien: Will Rogers once said that to be a hero is about the shortest lived profession
on earth. Robert Hobbes was a hero, he puts his life on the line many times to save
many people, many of those times to save my life. Bobby Hobbes died a hero. Thank
you.
Bobby: You're welcome partner.

The Rabi begins the final prayer the coffin is lowered, Three Agents do a gun salute.
Claire and Darien are walking together afterwards.

Claire: I'm going to miss Bobby.

Darien: I guess so I got to be honest with you I didn't know you felt so strongly about
Hobbes.

Claire: What I feel strongly about everybody involved with the Quicksilver project
Haven't you figured that out yet? They are like family.

Darien: Yeah, but Hobbes come on you know half the time he was pretty rude to you wasn't
he? Then the rest of the time he was hitting on you in his not so subtitle way.

Claire: He was a lonely man, I should have been his friend nobody deserves to die alone.

We see in the back ground Bobby watching them and he gets nabbed by two guys and dragged
off.

New Scene: Bobby at the Chinese lab

Bobby: Where am I, where am I. Am I in China, is this China huh? Hey do you speak
English anybody here speak English. You guys had better kill me right now cause I'm
not saying nothing I'm telling you right now, I'm not saying a word.

Official: what the hell was Hobbes do there( The Official is on the phone) Alright you
say you saw them grabbing him, you moved in pulled your guns and what the hell do
you mean you only had one round in your gun... because of the fun salute. That has
got to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard so you're telling me we killed one of
our Agents and the Chinese still walked off with the prize?

Claire: Oh my God, you killed him this Agency killed

Official: No, no it wasn't like that explain it to her

Darien: Thank you, it's about time, we faked Hobbes's death

Claire: He's Alive?

Darien: Yeah, yeah we faked his death to throw off the Chinese see they thought Hobbes
was the invisible Man and what we wanted to do was for them to see him blown to bits.
Then show up at the funeral just to make sure we'd nab them.

Claire: So the explosion and the funeral were fake

Darien: Do the explosion was real, yeah Hobbes just drove around the corner into a
garage and blew up an identical car with a cadaver in it.

Claire: but at the funeral though everybody at the funeral knew except for me

Darien: No the only people who knew were me and the Official and the Rabi we thought
it would be a little sacrilegious if he didn't know, and the funeral director and a couple
of agents but other than that nobody

Claire: Well oh

Official: I want everybody out of that place watched got it, do not let him slip through
your fingers again.

Claire: You faked Bobby's death and let me believe it all this time you let me cry at
his funeral.

Official: Had to, had to. You gave it an air of authenticity.

Darien: Yeah and personally I don't think you made a fool of yourself I found it enduring
how much you cared about him.

Claire: was he there? did he hear anything that I said?

Darien: Oh yeah, and I'm sure he'd love to be your friend so he doesn't have to die a lonely
man

Claire: That's funny, very funny

Official: Lets get back to it folks

Darien: Yeah

Official: Ok I think we got lucky on this one we tracked the car to the Chinese embassy

Claire: Oh no

Darien: What at least they didn't put him on a slow boat to china

Claire: It's the same thing as being in China, the Chinese Embassy is on sovereign land
Offical: She's right

Darien: What do you mean we can't get in there with a warrant or anything?

Offical: No

Claire: the only way we can get in there is by invitation

Darien: Do I deduct a plan forming in that grieving little mind of your?

Claire: I believe so

New Scene: The Official and Claire and an Invisible Darien arrive at the embassy

Chinese agent: Hello how may we help you?

Claie: Hello my name is Claire Keeply and this is Roger Moore we represent the United States
Dept of Fish and Game and we have an appointment to speak with the ambassador.
Chinese agent: I'm afraid the Ambassador's day is full he asked me to speak with you.
I assume this concerns our fishermen and dolphins?

Official: no

Chinese agent: Does it concern the Olympics?

Official: why would it concern the Olympics?

Chinese agent: you said you were from the Dept of fish and games

Official: Game not games it means an animal that's hunted for food or sport.

Chinese agent: You name your agencies strangely why not just call it the dept of fish
and animals?

Official: that's a very good question, I'll ask the president the next time I talk to him.
Now where is he?

Chinese agent: Excuse me?

Official: we know you have our man, now where is he?

Chinese agent: I'm afraid we don't know what you are talking about

Official: Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about, you have him we want him back
unharmed.

Claire: You see the man that you kidnaped has a very serious problem if he doesn't
get the shot in the next hour he will self destruct.

Chines agent: I'm afraid we still don't know what you're talking about

Official: Fine then the about an hour the guy you don't know about will be splattered
all over the wall paper of whatever room you've got him stashed in

Claire: I'm sure you don't want to see him die anymore than we do,

Chinese agent: I'm sure our wall paper will be fine, for many years since we don't
have this man you refer to

Darien is meanwhile looking for Bobby

Claire: Please I'm a doctor just let me give him a shot

Chinese agent: We are going to have to ask you to leave

Official: We're not leaving not until you allow her to give him a shot
Then we will forceabely remove you

Claire: No, no we'll leave, just do e a favor you give him that shot I'll give it to
you, If you don't give it to him he'll die.

Back at Bobbys cell

Bobby: You just better hope they don't know where I am Fella. I happen to be an
very important person in my government, you hear that? The United States marines
are going to bust down the door any minute

Darien arrives but they grab him because they are wearing thermal glasses.

Darien: Oh crap

Bobby: Fawkes, Fawkes

Darien: I'm getting the feeling this is a trap

Chinese agent: We knew we could never capture an Invisible man unless we had an environment we could control it was much easier to capture the invisible man very visible sidekick.

Bobby: Excuse me are referring to me? I happen to be the important one in the partnership
my friend, if it wasn't for me he'd be dead ten times over.

Darien: What do you mean ten times over maybe two tops. So what are you saying
you know all along he wasn't the guy?

Chinese agent: Mr Fawkes who would be foolish enough to waste the gland on some
one like Hobbes

Bobby: Whoa I'm not good enough to be a receptacle huh?

Darien: Wait what are you doing to do with him?

Chinese agent: You should be more concerned about what we are going to do with you

Bobby: I'll show you sidekick, stay strong Fawkes don't let them break you, stay strong.

They drag Bobby out and throw Darien on the exam table.

Chinese agent: I should warn you Mr Fawkes their orders are simple the second they see you turn
silver it's shoot to kill

Darien: Easy for you to say isn't it, Hey I think you should know if you try to remove
the gland it will kill me

Chinese agent: We are aware of that Mr. Fawkes

They drill hole into the back of his head and drain out the quicksilver into two cryo containers.

Darien: Ah crap

They bring the lady Chinese doctor the shot Claire left with them

Darien: Boy I'm getting a little light headed don't I get a box of cookies? or something?

Chinese agent: This isn't the red cross mr Fawkes

Darien: apple juice would do , look I don't want you to think I'm not grateful I'm still alive.
Female Chinese Dr: They tell me if you don't receive a shot with in the hour you will die, is that true?

Darien: well that depends on who they is?

Female Cinese Dr: An intelligent looking woman and a beady eyed fat man

Darien looks at the syringe and notices something different about it

Darien: No I don't need a shot of that

Female Chinese Dr: I'm sorry Mr Fawkes that lacked the sound of sincerity

Darien: Look don't put that stuff in my arm

The syringe falls to the floor and explodes, Darien quicksilvers and escapes out the door to find Bobby.

Bobby (who is still locked in a room): My name is Robert Hobbes I'm an agent of the United
States of America what you are doing is an act of war. Under the by laws of the United
Nations charter and the Geneva convention you are in violation of sub section b article
17. I am an agent of the USA if you don't open this door you will be in major

Darien opens the door after a struggle with the gaurd that Hobbes can hear but not see andfrees him.

Bobby: It's about time you got here

Darien: Stand still please

DArien puts his hand on his shoulder

Bobby: AHhh

Darien: You are such a woos ( Darien quicksilvers them both)

Out side

Official: Do you really thing he'll notice the syringe?

Claire: OF course

Offical: why is that?

CLaire; Because he's very observant

Offical: If he's conscious

Claire: We don't have a lot of choice do we?

Offical: What are you so upset about?

Claire: That you are spending your time second guessing my plan when you don't
have anything better to offer,

Offical :I don't think so

Claire: don't think you know me so well

Offical: Wait is this about us not letting you in on the funeral?

Clair; No it's not about that

Offical: I think it is

Claire; It's not

Offical: It is

Claire: It's not

Darien: (as he de-quicksilvers) Hey boss just go nannana right there and you win

Bobby: Oh God (Bobbys still freaking out over the quicksilver as it flacks off)

Darien: Will you stop it

Claire: AH told you he'd be fine

Offical: Is this your version of I told you so?

Claire: It's a start

Darien: Excuse me for interrupting just so you know they captured me too

Bobby: Which they have been planning all along

Claire: Did they milk you?

Darien: Yeah like a price Holstein filled a couple of canisters too

Bobby: Like those( bobby nods towards two people bring two cans out to a van and loading it into the back of it)

Darien goes quicksilver: It's time for a little skeet shooting

Official: they are getting away

Bobby: Not to worry chief

Darien takes the two canisters out of the back of the van and throws each one up over
the van and Bobby shoots each one, covering the van with quicksilver. Making the upper half invisible so you can see the two people in the front

Claire: Nice shot

The Chinese agent comes out and starts to berate the drivers

Darien: Is it just me or do they sound upset to you?

Bobby: A little cranky

Darien; Yeah I'm not sure what they're saying

Bobby: Must be bad thought

Darien; yeah not good

Bobby: Yeah it was bad

New Scene: back at the lab

Darien: well I take it they didn't screw up the gland?

Claire: No their technique was excellent, no damage at all

Darien: I got an idea maybe we should get them to start working on a way to remove the gland?

Claire: I'd be happy to ask them if you can convince the Official

Official: Convince me of what?

Claire: Darien would like to share our toys with the Chinese

Bobby: The way they were apologizing to the state department they aren't going to want
to play with us for awhile

Darien: So I'm safe

Offical: For awhile but they'll be back

Darien; Great what happens then?

Bobby: In case you haven't noticed that safety net has a big hole in it

Offical: Not any more they've been replaced with prejudice

Bobby: NO kidding? You fired 'em? I didn't think anybody got fired from this joint

Everyone laughs

Official: It happens do you want a personal demonstration?

Bobby: NO sir that's fine I'll take your word for it, thank you.

Offical: Good come on we need to get you debriefed (The Official and Darien leave)

Claire goes back to her work

Bobby: Umm

Claire: Oh god

Bobby: Hello

Claire: Hello

Bobby: A listen you know what you said back there

Claire: At the embassy?

Bobby: at the service I just wanted to let you know it was very touching and I want to let you
know I was touched.

Claire: Well it was just a performance, I didn't' think for a moment that you were dead

Bobby: well you were great you really went above and beyond I mean you were way more convincing than those other guys So I just want you to know I appreciate that

Claire: thank you (Claire won't look at him the entire time he's talking to her)

Bobby smiles and then leaves