- TWELVE-STEP PROGRAM -
Inu-Yasha: OK, fans. Here's a way to get over your obsession of my series. Of course, I have no problem with you humans groveling at my feet, so if you enjoy your obsessive behavior, just look over this list for a laugh. Shan-Chan made it, so I don't blame you if you run away screaming. Ja ne!
STEP 1: The first thing to do is to take your Inu-Yasha manga, be they original Japanese or the Viz GN's, and put them on the bookshelf. Yes, take them out of the freezer, the bathroom, and un-tape them from your cat. I know you want an IY manga available to read wherever you are, but just remember how nice it will be to not find cat hair all over Inu-Yasha's battle with the Thunder Brothers.
STEP 2: Now that your manga are safe and sound, the next step involves your Inu-Yasha OST. Don't panic, but you're going to need to remove the CD from your CD player, and put it away. And that's all nine of them, including the one at your Grandma's house. Yes, it's hard, since you haven't removed the soundtrack since the day you got it, but it's time to move on. It won't run away if you put it back in its case.
STEP 3: The next step, my friend, will be to stop your infatuation with your IY UFO catcher plushies. I know, it seems unthinkable to NOT take cuddly little Kagome with you to work, school, and super bowl parties, but trust me, her feelings won't be hurt. And continuing to sleep with them at night and taking them on vactions with you cannot continue to rule your life. You can get to sleep without your Shippou doll.
STEP 4: Don't get too nervous, but the next step has to do with the IY anime. Take all your FanSubs, DVD's, VCD's, etc...and take them out of your pants. Yes, it is nice to know that your favorite series is just a quick reach away, but it's settling to know that the Sesshou-maru episode won't get crushed beneath your glutius maximus. And no, no matter how much you hope, your history teacher will not show IY instead of that National Geographic special about the Russian Revolution. So go ahead and and stack your IY anime collection right next to your other dust-covered videos, and enjoy all that new room in your jeans.
STEP 5: Wow, you've gotten so far in overcoming your obsession! Now, though, you have quite a task ahead of you. Go around to all the computers you've ever saved IY pics, episodes, and mp3's on - including the one at WalMart Customer Service - and delete them. Yes, it's hard, but the drive through guy at McDonald's doesns't want that nude Miroku pic on on his laptop. Also, it would be nice to give a quick "Gomen Nasai!" to all the people you've confused.
STEP 6: The next step also involves a computer: Yours. Stop crowding your desktop and you might actually get to see that cute Kirara wallpaper you downloaded. Save everything in a folder, perhaps, intitled "InuYasha Stuff". And try not to open it and go through everything saved twice a day to make sure it wasn't stolen by Naraku. This would defeat the purpose.
STEP 6: Now, it's time to findout what color your wall is painted. Take down at least enough of your IY WallScrolls, posters, drawings, and computer print-outs off your wall so that you can remember what color it used to be. This ALSO includes the ceiling, doors, and various air-conditioning vents, too. You will not forget what Sango looks like if you take down that pic of her where she looks all pouty.
STEP 7: Alright! you're halfway through! Now you're ready for step six. Right now, you need to discontinue dressing up your pets like Kirara. Believe me, Fu-Fu the hamster does not "enjoy" those two poofy tails stapled to his butt.
STEP 8: Stop wearing your green and white sailor outfit to school. No matter how much you belive it really is the school uniform, it isn't. And if you're a guy, the mini-skirts are starting to scare people. Dress up like Inu-Yasha and think you can get away with this step? Think again. Pastel pink just isn't your color, and your classmates really don't give a crap about feeling your fake doggy ears. And Sango Fans...that boomerang is violating the code of conduct, and that's why you've been suspended eight times.
STEP 9: Take all the money out of your "Inu-Yasha Savings Account" and go buy yourself a new car.
STEP 10: Now that you've made all the physical adjustments, you must now make some mental adjustments. Stop relating everything on the planet to IY! For example, if someone mentions that they forgot to do their homework, don't reply that they probably left it in fuedal Japan. People are starting to worry about your sanity.
STEP 11: Stop thinking real-life people are Inu-Yasha characters. That's why you're being sued by that poor old lady with the eyepatch that you glomped at the mall. Inu-Yasha characters, as you know, are only existant in our imaginations. And a few of them help me run this site. And visit me now and then. *sweatdrop*
STEP 12: Stop reading this list! Yes, the last step is to stop reading this lovely award-winning twelve-step program and get on with your happy little anime lives. Go buy a Slushee if you feel special.
Inu-Yasha: Eh...don't worry, she scares me too...
BACK TO OBSESSIVENESS
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