By: ~Goku the Paladin~
Author’s Notes: Hey hey hey! I finally finished this chapter. -_-() I know that we are all busy and so am I, but I do have free time half the time and lately I’ve been neglecting my fanfics, which is bad. Bad Goku, bad! >< I mean, lately I just didn’t feel like writing anything although there were moments when I did feel like it but didn’t write anything because, I don’t know why. Oh well. Chapter three should be out very soon. I actually have a plot for POTP and there should be some nice surprises coming soon. Oh, and just to let y’all know, I’m working on a new Inu/Sess fanfic. I think the plot is good and it should be a good one, also, so yeah. Well, that’s all for now and I’m sorry for making you all wait so long. I know that some of you are waiting for the finale of "Brother, My Brother", and unfortunately, you’ll have to wait awhile. Gomen ^^. Oh yes, and there will be a lemon soon in POTP, so please be patient, my pets…
Plot: Sequel to Inu-yasha version of the Japanese animated movie "Spirited Away".
Dedication: I dedicate this fic to my Inu-yasha a.k.a. Amanda a.k.a. Gimli a.k.a. Dee Laytner. Who knows what lies beyond the Shadows of Death, but the Boundaries of Love are unlimited. Aishiteru anata.
Warnings: NC-17, Yaoi, and Angst
Pairings: Inu-yasha/Sesshoumaru
Disclaimer(s): It.Is.A.Fan.Fic.Not.A.Pro.Fit.
<…> Implies Thought.
EX: <…What is going on?…>
Chapter Two: Denial’s Heart
Sesshoumaru broke away from the human Inu-yasha when he had caught the scent of his brother. He stared at the human Inu-yasha quizzically. Something seemed wrong to him and out of place. The scent and clothes were what was out of place, but his intuition told him different. He didn’t even notice the expression on Inu-yasha’s face at all. He didn’t even notice that Inu-yasha had taken the ‘card’ unconsciously. Inu-yasha didn’t even notice the ‘card’, either.
"Why do you smell of my brother and wear my brother’s filthy rags?" Sesshoumaru asked suspiciously and bewilderedly.
"What the hell are you talking about?! I am your brother, unfortunately I might add and my clothes are not filthy rags!" Inu-yasha spat.
Sesshoumaru froze as he stared unblinkingly at the splitting image of his past koibito. The voice sounded like his brother’s voice, but the face was his past koi’s face. His hanyou brother and past human lover both had different voices, as a matter of fact. His brother’s voice was scratchy and annoying while his past koibito’s voice had been so soft and soothing.
For the first time in Sesshoumaru’s apathetic life, he was utterly confused. The kiss had felt so right, yet everything else seemed so very wrong at the same time.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Sesshoumaru? First you kiss me, then you…" Inu-yasha trailed off when Sesshoumaru’s question came back to him:
…Why do you smell of my brother and wear my brother’s filthy rags?…
Inu-yasha stood there, dazed and confused. Being the baka that we all know and love, he jumped to wild conclusions.
<…This can’t be Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru knows who I am and he would never kiss me, either! Besides, kidnapping isn’t my brother’s style at all. Ha! That explains it! Now, to find Kagome…> Inu-yasha thought as he glared at the ‘imposter’.
"Who are you and what have you done with Kagome, you imposter!" Inu-yasha half yelled, unsheathing Tetseiga.
"I am Sesshoumaru-sama." Sesshoumaru replied blandly and arched one of his elegant eyebrows.
"You are not! You lie like that bastard Naraku!" Inu-yasha charged at Sesshoumaru, his Tetseiga raised, ready to slash and maim at will.
"Inu-yasha, OSUWARI! Sit, boy!" Kagome yelled from her location on the guest bed.
Thud!
"Ouch, bitch!" Inu-yasha spat, groaning in pain.
<…What is going on?…> Sesshoumaru asked himself, both his fine eyebrows arched.
"Osuwari! Sit, boy!" Kagome commanded again.
Thud!
"Ouch, stop that!"
"Gomen, Sesshoumaru-san! Inu-yasha is being a baka again." Kagome apologized to the bewildered demon lord.
"Nani?" Sesshoumaru was still confused. He looked from human to human.
"He’s not Sesshoumaru, stupid onna!" Inu-yasha half-yelled.
"This is madness. Both of you leave, now." Sesshoumaru said lowly and stalked out. He stood under the full moon and closed his eyes. The dog demon, in the moonlight, looked like an ethereal being without the wings. It was strange how such a demon could look so much like an angel, instead of what his blood betrayed him to be.
He sighed. <…I was doing just fine until I brought his grand pup here…> Sesshoumaru thought bitterly, his arms limp and lifeless at his sides. He had not failed to notice that this human carried Tetseiga. Sesshoumaru was in denial, despite the obvious clues. He denied that this mere human was Inu-yasha. His brother was half-human, but not fully human. Inu-yasha was a mere hanyou.
Different emotions and feelings plagued him like never before and he didn’t know how to classify any of them in the slightest. These feelings and emotions swelled and festered inside of him like a virus or a disease. He clenched his fists and didn’t even notice that his claws were digging into his palms. Blood dribbled down his hands and dripped onto the ground. He didn’t even notice the blood.
<…He had another mate. It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I knew he wouldn’t survive if he stayed in this chaotic era with me, but…it feels as if he betrayed me, in a sense. I didn’t want him to go, but I had to let him go. If he had stayed and survived, Time itself would have taken its toll on him in the end. I know this is how it was to be; yet it hurts. It hurts a hundred fold more then it ever did before. Feeling this way is weakness and having any sort of a weakness is not acceptable. I cannot be weak. There is no excuse for being weak. Father, I will not be weak like you ever again!…> Sesshoumaru mused to himself. His heart was in denial.
~*~*~*~*~
"Inu-yasha, listen to me!" Kagome insisted, still sitting on the bed.
"Hurry up, Onna!" Inu-yasha barked.
"Listen to me carefully and believe what I say. It will make this whole situation make much more sense."
"Okay, I’m listening." Inu-yasha’s ears were drooped in defeat.
"If you haven’t noticed, you are in your human form. I’m not sure, but Sesshoumaru most likely doesn’t know that you turn human every once in awhile, am I right?"
"Of course he doesn’t know about that! Not many do. If he knew about it, then he would have…" Inu-yasha trailed off, no longer willing to finish his sentence.
"Right then. Now, you may not believe this, but I will tell you anyway. My great grandfather was named Inu-yasha."
"WHAT?! Why didn’t you tell me this a long time ago?!" Inu-yasha half yelled, his ears twitching.
"It never crossed my mind before. I never knew him."
"Feh!"
"Anyway, he looked just like you do in your human form. A long time ago, he went into the feudal era and he met Sesshoumaru. They were in love, Inu-yasha. I believe Sesshoumaru still loves him. Maybe the reason he is so cold and impassive is not his true nature, but his way of dealing with his own personal pain."
"Sesshoumaru…in love? Feh! That’s impossible!" Inu-yasha spat with disbelief.
"Inu-yasha, he thinks you are my great grandfather!"
"NANI?!" Inu-yasha paled.
"Doesn’t that explain why he kissed you the way he did?"
Inu-yasha looked away to hide the obvious blush that had creeped up on his cheeks.
"I don’t see a problem at all. I’ll be a hanyou again by sunrise. No problem there anymore."
A deep sigh. "Inu-yasha. We need to help him. Who knows, maybe a lot of good will come out of this?"
"I don’t want to risk your life again!"
"Inu-yasha. No matter what you do, my life will always be at risk. Every life is always at risk. Sesshoumaru rescued me and he even listened to me. You never listen to me, Inu-yasha! If you won’t help me, then fine! I’m going to stay here."
"Nani? You can’t stay here with that arrogant jerk!"
"Funny, to me, you always seemed more like the arrogant jerk yourself, not him." Kagome said in a low voice. Her brown eyes were narrowed dangerously.
"Kagome!" Inu-yasha protested loudly. "I don’t want to help that-"
"-Don’t be such a prick!" Kagome cut him off.
Inu-yasha’s white dog-ears drooped in utter defeat.
"Well?"
"Fine, I’ll help." Inu-yasha grumbled, his ears flat on his head.
"I’m going to go to my own time for a few days to find out more. Hopefully I’ll find something that will help Sesshoumaru."
"Kagome, what do I do?"
"Keep your brother company." Kagome said lightly, as if this would be an easy feat for Inu-yasha to accomplish.
"NANI?!" He visibly paled once again.
"You heard me. Don’t make me repeat myself or else."
"Fine, but if he kisses me again, you will find him in pieces."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "Whatever Inu-yasha! Once you’re a hanyou again, I severely doubt he would want to kiss you again. Well, Ja-Ne for now."
"You make it sound like I’m ugly or something."
"No, but Sesshoumaru certainly is prettier then you!" Kagome giggled.
"That’s not true, Onna!" Inu-yasha crossed his arms.
"Take good care of Sesshoumaru while I’m gone!" Kagome said as she left the mansion and disappeared, leaving a very unhappy hanyou behind.
~*~*~*~*~
Inu-yasha pouted, his lower lip stuck out like a child who had not gotten his way. <…She could have waited until the morning to leave…> Inu-yasha grumpily thought, arms crossed across his lithe chest. He finally noticed something still clutched tightly in one of his hands. It was the card he had stolen unconsciously from Sesshoumaru. Surprised and curious, he flipped it over and looked at it. He saw words written in a small, neat script. It was as if someone had written it lovingly. Despite popular belief, Inu-yasha could read. His mother, during her few years with him, had educated him the best she could.
He started to read it and couldn’t believe his eyes after he had finished. He read it over again several times, not believing his own eyes. The card said:
Sesshoumaru, amber carnations always remind me of your eyes. The moon always reminds me of your silver hair. The snow always reminds me of your porcelain skin. The Mountains always remind me of how strong and tall you are. The stars remind me of how mysterious and beautiful you are. All these things will forever remind me of you. You were my best friend here and you always will be, no matter what. Always remember that. Someday we'll meet again, my koi. Keep your head high and stand tall. Take care of yourself. Aishiteru anata, my koibito.
Inu-yasha glanced outside and caught sight of his beautiful brother. His breath hitched in his throat. His brother looked so beautiful and so very fragile standing in the silver moonlight all alone, as if the world itself had turned its back on this bishounen. For the first time, Inu-yasha started to notice the small details about his elder brother. Like the way Sesshoumaru’s lip quivered when he was unhappy. Like how long Sesshoumaru’s eyelashes really were, when his eyes were closed. Like how full and perfect his lips looked. Like how his hair always danced in the wind, no matter what happened. Like how he trembled and shivered when he was…miserable.
Inu-yasha saw his brother in a different light, a different perspective. But besides Sesshoumaru’s flawless beauty, there was a beautiful sorrow etched deeply into his face. Despite Inu-yasha’s own new enlightenment, he still could not believe he was seeing actual emotion in the platonic, impassive Sesshoumaru.
Inu-yasha leaned on the windowsill with child-like curiosity as he watched his elder brother. For once, he was deeply thinking about something. He sighed and watched his brother; his thoughts falling through his mind like a wild waterfall.
<…I wonder, brother…did you really love Kagome’s great grandfather? Is this why you look so sad? No, I can’t believe it. I deny it all. I won’t believe a word of it! I deny it all, dammit! You are cold, unfeeling, and ruthless! What I see now…can’t be you. You don’t feel. You just don’t feel anything but the negative emotions. In a way, I want to believe that this is really you, that you really loved someone once…but I just can’t. Not after all the hatred you pounded into me with your hands, your eyes, your mouth…with your very being. I do admit…I wanted to love you as brothers should, but you never wanted that. You just wanted me dead because of what I am. A Hanyou. And I…wanted to become a full demon so no one could push me around anymore…so I could be like you…numb and void to all feelings. But I do not want that anymore. I love Kagome…I think…> Inu-yasha mused and then stopped when he had thought about Kagome. <…Do I love Kagome? I thought I did once…but…our relationship just seems to be a sister/brother relationship. I don’t know what I want anymore. I wanted to be a full youkai once, I wanted Kikyo, and I wanted Kagome…but no longer. I don’t want any of that anymore. But why? Why can’t I just keep wanting something? What do I really want? Feh, this is what I get for actually thinking! I don’t know what Miroku, Sango, and Kagome are talking about with this ‘thinking-is-good-for-your-brain-stuff’! My brain hurts now. Feh! That’s the last time I muse about anything!…>
Inu-yasha was in as much denial as Sesshoumaru himself and it would seem that both brothers were both different, yet very similar at the same time. It would also ironically be that they both were more similar than different, yet they knew that not and the other ironic part about that was that they did not yet realize that they both had feelings for each other.
The hanyou froze when the impassive, but forlorn eyes of Sesshoumaru stared at him. The older brother had caught his younger brother staring, but he did nothing about it. He only stared back. He held out his arm and gestured for Inu-yasha to join him. The dog youkai’s very body language was whispering promises to Inu-yasha that it had never told before.
Inu-yasha licked his dry lips and tried to swallow, but found that his throat was quite dry as well. He did not move, he could not move, yet his very legs forced his body to leap out of the window and approach the illusion of an angel.
Just as Inu-yasha had promised himself, all thoughts had vanished forth from his mind and he was not thinking any longer. He was only moving and obeying. His human hand reached out and lightly brushed against that of the demon’s. He was being pulled into a tight embrace; the moon illuminating the both of them in a lovely light. And for the moment, neither of them cared. Both of their hearts were in denial, but their bodies were not.
To be Continued…