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JOINING YOU NO PRESSURE OVER CAPPUCCINO THAT I WOULD BE GOOD PRINCES FAMILIAR I WAS HOPING THESE R THE THOUGHTS KING OF PAIN UNINVITED |
Dear Darlin,
Your mom, my friend
Left a message on my machine
She was frantic
Saying you were talking crazy.
That you wanted to do away with yourself.
Guess she thought I would be the perfect resort
Because we've had this inexplicable connection since our youth
And yes, they're in shock
They are panicked
You and your chronic
Them and their drama
You this embarassment
Us in the middle of this delusion.
If we were our bodies,
If we were our futures,
If we were our defenses,
I'd be joining you.
If we were our culture,
If we were our leaders,
If we were our denials,
I'd be joining you.
I remember vividly a day years ago,
We were camping.
You knew more than you thought you should know.
You said "I don't want ever to be brainwashed"
And you were mindboggling, you were intense.
You were uncomfortable in your own skin.
You were thirsty,
But mostly you were beautiful.
If we were our nametags,
If we were our rejections,
If we were our outcomes,
I'd be joining you.
If we were our indignities,
If we were our successes,
If we were our emotions,
I'd be joining you.
You and I, we're like four year olds.
We want to know why, and how come about everything.
We want to reveal ourselves at will, and speak our minds.
And never talk small talk and be intuitive,
And question mightily, and find God my tortured beacon.
We need to find like-minded companions.
If we were their condemnations,
If we were their projections,
If we were our paranoias, I'd be joining you.
If we were our incomes,
If we were our obsessions,
If we were our afflictions, I'd be joining you.
We need a reflection,
We need a really good memory.
Feel free to call me a little more often.
And you're like a 90's jesus
And you revel in your psychosis
How dare you
And you sample concepts like hors d'euvres
And you eat their questions for dessert
Is it just me or is it hot in here
And you're like a 90's kennedy
And you're really a million years old
You can't fool me
They'll throw opinions like rocks in riots
And they'll stumble around like hypocrites
Is it just me or is it dark in here?
Well you may never be or have a husband you may never have or hold a child
You will learn to lose everything we are temporary arrangements
And you're like a 90's noah
And they laughed at you as you packed all of your things
And they wonder why you're frustrated
And they wonder why you're so angry
And is it just me or are you fed up?
And may god bless you in your travels in your conquests and queries
That I would be good
Even if I did nothing
That I would be good
Even if I got the thumbs down
That I would be good
If I got and stayed sick
That I would be good
Even if I gained 10 pounds
That I would be fine
Even if I went bankrupt
That I would be good
If I lost my hair and my youth
That I would be great
If I was no longer queen
That I would be grand
If I was not all knowing
That I would be loved
Even when I'm not myself
That I would be good
Even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved
Even when I was fuming
That I would be good
Even if I was clinging
That I would be good
Even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you
Please be philosophical
Please be tapped into your femininity
Please be able to take the wheel from me
Please be crazy and curious
Papa love your princess so that she will find loving princes familiar
Papa cry for your princess so that she will find gentle princes familiar
Please be a sexaholic
Please be unpredictably miserable
Please be self absorbed much (not the good kind)
Please be addicted to some substance
Papa listen to your princess so that she will find attentive princes familiar
Papa hear your princess so that she will find curious princes familiar
Please be the jerk of my knee i've fit you always
You finish my sentences I think I love you
What is your name again no matter i'm guessing your thoughts again correctly and I love the way
You press my buttons so much sometimes I could strangle you
Papa laugh with your princess so that she will find funny princes familiar
Papa respect your princess so that she will find respectful princes familiar
Please be strangely enigmatic
Please be just like my
As we were talking outside,
It was cold,
We were shivering, yet warmed by the subject matter.
My wife is in the next room,
We've been having troubles you know,
Please don't tell her or anyone,
But I need to talk to somebody.
You said, "Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was
Five minutes before I died? I'd be filled with such regret
Before I took my last breath."
And I said, "You're willing to tell me this now, and you're not going to die anytime soon."
And I said I haven't been eating chicken,
Or meat,
Or anything.
And you said yes, but you've been wearing leather and laughed and said
We're at the top of the food chain.
And yes you're still a fine woman,
And I cringed.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could heal each other.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could be raw together.
We left the restaurant where the head waiter (in his 60's), said
"Good bye, sir. Thank you for your business sir. You're successful and
established, sir, and we like the frequency with which you dine here sir. And
your money."
And when I walked by, they said "Thank you too dear."
I was all pigtails and cords.
And there was a day when I would've said something like,
"Hey dude, I could buy and sell this place, so kiss it."
I too once thought I was owed something.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could challenge each other.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could crack each other up.
I too thought that when proved wrong, I lost somehow.
I too thought life was cruel.
It's a cycle, really.
You think I'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you.
I think you're insensitive and I don't feel heard.
And I said "Do you believe we are fundamentally judgmental?
Fundamentally evil?"
And you said Yes.
And I said do you believe in revenge, in right or wrong, good or bad?
And you said "Well, what about the man that I saw handcuffed in the emergency
room,
Bleeding after beating his kid, and she threw a shoe at his head.
I think what he did was wrong, and I wouldn't have had a hard time feeling
compassion for him."
I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could dance together.
I was hoping,
I was hoping we could be creamy together.
These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a Sunday afternoon
When I have the house to myself and i'm not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend
Is he the one that I will marry ?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself ?
Why do I feel cellularly alone ?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city ?
Can blindly continued fear induced regurgitated life-denying
Tradition be overcome ?
Where does the money go that I send to those in need ?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still ?
Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning ?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit ?
How can you say you're close to god
And yet you talk behind my back as though I am not
A part of you? why do I say I'm fine when it's
Obvious I'm not? why's it so hard to tell you what I want ?
Why can't you just read my mind ?
Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen ?
Why do I care whether you like me or not ?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry ?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around ?
Will I ever move back to canada ?
Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master ?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it gets too close to home ?
Why cannot I live in the moment ?
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain
There's a fossil that trapped in a high cliff wall
That's my soul up there
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
That's my soul up there
There's a blue whale beached by a springtide's ebb
That's my soul up there
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain
There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread
There's a red fox torn by a huntman's pack
There's a black winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
I have stood here before inside the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the queen of pain
Queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain
Queen of pain
I'll always be queen of pain
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch them burn me, shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced love like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate.
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