Could it be???
Yes, you guesssed it folks, it's the so-called hardest most alternative Temple Bar kid of all time .............???
Proof that cigarettes can in fact
replace food.
For years people have been dropping babies on their heads accidently. Many panic as it has been proven that this may in fact damage the babies health, or so we are told. As many of you know the act of falling, originally mastered by cock-eyed mountaineers on the slopes of the Andes, mostly involves a lack of balance closely followed by the downward motion of the torso, head and limbs.
Trampolining, originally mastered by 8 year old steroid pumped Romanian girls with pig-tails, involves most of the above, except of course there is a 180 to 1 chance of bouncing back up in the air thus starting the whole terrifying process again.
In a recent experiment an 8 week old baby was dropped out of a 3 storie building onto a trampoline below. The results were sketchy at best but by recent I mean 15 years ago and by baby I mean Darragh Stevenson.
Would it be best to not drop your baby on a trampoline?
Yes, but further study is required.
Very few people know this but it has been confirmed by sources close to me that the sandals of one "Mother Teresa" are in fact missing. The mysterious sandals adorned the feet of the kindly nun for 52 years and 65 days before her timely/untimely death yet the soles never wore out. (insert scary music here)
When the caretaker of the Calcutta based Mother Teresa museum found the case that held the sandals smashed to pieces one humid January morn he called the police immediately. At first they laughed at him but after persistant ringing they sent a squad of elephant mounted coppers to investigate.
There are no suspects in this vicious crime against Christiandom, and to a lesser extent shoemakers, so logically the blame has been based solely on MUSLIM SEPARATISTS, the scurge of humanity.
BIG JIM will keep you up to date on the progress of this horrific crime.
